New Year's Resolutions

I am typically not a New Year's resolution type of person.  I usually just treat it like any other day, make myself stay up until midnight, say happy new year, and move on with my life.  This year I am going to make a couple of modifications to that routine.  I am going to put some goals out here, goal, not resolutions per se.

This year, I will find my niche.  Whether it is making jewelry, as an Independent Consultant with Arbonne, blogging, etc.  Whatever avenue I am destined to be pursuing, I will figure it out this year. 

I will be weaning my youngest this year.  She will be two years old in September, and it will be time at some point this year.  I have loved nursing her for an extended period, but I am really starting to want my body back. 

Speaking of my body....yeah, that ole thang.  I will commit to losing the last 10-15 pounds I want to lose this year.  For once and for all I will figure out how to combine diet and exercise instead of mastering them separately at different times.  I will combine the two for the body I always knew I had inside.

I am going to keep in better contact with family and friends.  It is hard when almost everyone is at a distance.  There are only so many hours in a day that I am available to talk on the phone.

And in that sentiment, I am going to increase my circle of local friends.  I am going to join MOMS Club in my area, and meet some new people with little ones the same age as my littlest princess. 

I am going to continue to work to make the situation between myself and my ex better.  That is a two way street, so I know I can only do so much to change things.  But I am going to do what I know is my best, so that I can continue to sleep well at night, well at least as far as that issue is concerned.

I vow to speak up more, and ask for help when I know I need it.  It is okay to stumble, it is okay to fall flat on my face.  As long as I pick myself up, dust myself off, and ask for a hand when I need it.  I am not Superwoman, and I will stop pretending that I am.

I will continue to work on bettering communication with my hubby.  Things are really good now, we seem to have a good system in place, and I will continue to do my part to keep things moving in a good direction so that we may always be a good example to ourselves and our kids on what a relationship should look like.

There are so many specific things I want for this year....more financial freedom, less stress, more creative endeavors, less drama.  I am sure of one thing, whatever is meant to happen, WILL HAPPEN. 

Happy New Year everyone.  I hope all of our dreams come true. 

Missing My Kids

My two older girls are currently with their dad for the rest of their Christmas break.  I am at the point that I miss them terribly.  The energy in the house is different without them here.  It's not bad, just different.  They bring something to our family that is lacking when they are not here.  When my husband and I first got married, he was a little confused why I was so sad when they left. He said I should look at it as a break.  Now, he gets it because he feels it too.

Over the past couple years he has developed a bond with them that is unbreakable.  When they leave he misses them almost as much as I do.  I thought after the baby wss born it would be easier. Maybe at first it was, but that was short lived.  Now that the baby is a toddler it is rough all over again. The littlest sister looks for her big sissies all over the place.  She goes knocking on their doors while calling them.  It's adorable and sad too.

I keep hoping with time things will get easier. It has been a few years, so maybe in a few more it will ease.  The older they get, the more and more I love being around them.  Having a blended family is sometimes tough. Having some our family gone is hard. Maybe I can focus on tasks that are kore difficult with them here. It cannot hurt, that is for sure.

So, I sign off for tonight.  Counting the days until I can hug my growing girls again,

Stalker Parents

Aubrey Ireland, College Student, Wins Restraining Order Against Helicopter Parents

I just saw this story on Good Morning America. These  parents go beyond helicopter parents in my opinion.  This is obsessive parenting. I feel for this girl. I am certainly involved, but would never be this ridiculous.

Russian sanctions....tit for tat

Russia's Putin signs anti-U.S. adoption bill - CNN.com

Putin has signed a bill that now halts any US adoptions of Russian babies.  It seems as though this is in retaliation for a bill put into okace by President Obama recently.  Mothballs are outlined in the above article, and ultimately deal with the treatment of people that are suspected of war crimes. The ban on adoptions seems to just be the icing on the cake.
In America, Russian adoptions are outnumbered only by Chinese adoptions. So this bill has major implications in the adoption world in our country.  There have been some concerns about recent increases in abuse claims regarding Russian adoptees. These children often have physical, emotional, and/or mental issues. Maybe there is a need for better support for adoptive families, and training for those with special needs.

Teachers Armed, Weigh In....

200 Utah educators take class on handling, having concealed gun in class - CNN.com

Teachers in Utah took a conceal carry class over the holidays break.  I am not comfortable with my children's teachers being armed. But I would love to hear from parents who do support this idea.  I do not want a bunch of rhetoric, but I would love to see some real in depth conversation on the topic. 


How do you all feel about armed teachers? Would you support armed security guards in schools?  What do you feel is the best way to deal with safety in schools?

Money or No Money, THAT is the Question

Calling their dad abusive, feds appeal $900G payout to adult children of veteran who died in botched gastric bypass - NY Daily News
Children of an abusive, neglectful father are awarded damages after he dies from an infection following gastric bypass surgery. Should they get that money?? The attorneys for the hospital say that the dad was nasty and the kids will not be missing a parent they had some great relationship with. Basically, they are saying he was an insensitive, dirty, bigot who was not worth anything to his family. I would love to hear opinions on this!!!

Stubborn is as stubborn does

Today...

How true....

When Parents Disagree

The worst part of coparenting is the disagreements that occur. In our situation they happen a lot. I am usually made to look like the bad guy, When in reality the lack of communication is the biggest problem.  Instead of discussing problems I usually get what I call nasty grams. Criticisms of my parenting, without any productive conversations ever taking place.
Who suffers the most, the kids of course.  They internalize things, and that is not good for them. They should not continually have to pay for the actions or reactions of their parents.  We need to figure out how to get along well enough to be cordial to one another. Is it really that hard to just be respectful, really?! I will take the high road once again. I will respond in kindness, for the sake of my children.
I would love to now at what point the nastiness drops and we all just decide to get along for the sake of the kids.  We will not always agree, but we need to work together for  their sake.  Let go, and let God.

Family by definition

Cuddling Kills

Must read!!

The Aftermath

Today the girls go to their Dad's for a week. I am going to miss them so much.  We had a great Christmas, and for that I am incredibly grateful.  I am looking forward to the New Year and  a geeat 2013! My mom also leaves today, what a sad day.  Goodbyes are never fun or easy, but are a necessary part of life.  Hopefully the time goes quickly and I am picking up my babies before I can miss them too much!

Merry Christmas!!!!

I hope you all have a great Christmas! Nothing better than seeing your child jumping up anddown because they are so excited about their gifts. Makes a Mommy happy. I hope all your dreams come true. Happy Holidays!!!

Truer Words Were Never Spoken....

Remember this as we scramble for those last minute Christmas gifts, it is not the gifts that mean the most to our children but the experiences they have with us.  Children want more than anything to be included in anything and everything they can in our lives.  Get to know your kids, beyond what they want to play with....

Uh Oh, She Asked THE Question....

Last night my 10 year old asked if Santa is real.  I asked her what she thought, and she looked at me and said, " I asked you first."  Darn that kid is good.  She is an incredibly mature child, so I KNOW she KNOWS the truth.  She happened to ask in front of her 8 year old sister, who is as mature as an 8 year old should be, and just sat there doe eyed waiting on the all knowing Mommy's answer.

I have always told the kids that Santa is magical.  For those that believe in him he is very real, but for those who do not, he is nothing more than pretend.  This has been satisfactory in helping them to keep believing.  It does not make a difference to me whether they believe or not, but it is fun to keep the magic alive, especially in these times.  It is nice to have a bit of make believe that everyone participates in and everyone gets excited about.  And it's nice to have some cookies left out that no one is asking to eat...less competition. 

I am pretty certain that my oldest daughter knows exactly what the deal is with Santa, but she loves the magical aspect as well, so she keeps her faith alive.  She did however make it known that under no circumstances will she ever believe that any of the mall Santas are real.  I had no argument there, I mean really.  But she followed up with the understanding that obviously Santa is a busy guy and he cannot be in charge of the whole thing and make appearances at malls everywhere, so obviously he had to exercise some time management.  I told you she was mature. 

Santa is real, he is real in our hearts and in our imaginations.  He is real in our inner children, and in our actual children.  I am glad to have another year of belief all around, that is my gift from Santa!

Swedish House Mafia - Don't You Worry Child feat. John Martin (Pete Tong...

Yesterday, following the moment of silence to honor the innocent souls lost in sandy Hook, the radio station I listen to played this song.  There version had sound bites from the parents throughout the song.  I literally had to pull my car over because I just began sobbing like  baby.  Yes, I could have changed the channel, but feeling emotions is a good thing, and I wanted to hear out the awesome tribute to these poor, lost babies.  It made me once again hug my babies a little tighter, because you never know....you just never know. 

I think this will be the tear jerker song of the millenium from now on.  I know it will be for me!!

Apple Cinnamon Water

I am always trying to find more ways to get more water.  I came across this on Pinterest, and I am so going to try this!!!

I think flavored water, NATURALLY flavored water is the way to go for kids too.  I do not give my kids juice, but you can better believe they can drink some water infused with apples and cinnamon!  I am so excited to try this out!!

 

  Think of the possibilities!  To top it all off, both apples and cinnamon are natural metabolism boosters.  So it can also increase the odds of weight loss!!  I cannot wait.  If it wasn't 10:00 PM, and I would be up all night, I would go make some now!  But tomorrow morning while my coffee is brewing you can bet your bottom dollar that I will be giving this one a try!!!
**EDITTED TO ADD**  Made it this morning, and it is DELICIOUS!!  All three kids love it too.  Yummo!!

Milk, DOUBLING in Price?!?!?!

You know, with all the talk about gas prices the price of many things nowadays goes almost unnoticed.  I came across an article about the price of milk and the potential for milk prices to double after the new year.  I almost spit out my milk...

What is the saying, "Don't cry over spilt milk."  Well if we are talking $7 a gallon, I will darn sure be crying over it!  To top it off, we buy organic milk.  So that increase in price will have us paying about $8 per HALF gallon.  Someone pass me a tissue.  I think we may be better off just purchasing a cow.  I will sell the milk to my friends and that sow will pay for herself in a couple months.  Now, if only I could convince the dog that the cow was a dog.  But seriously, the cost of everything is going up, WAY UP, and pay is not increasing, jobs are sporadic at best, and we keep hearing about how we are dangling off a fiscal cliff. 

How are we supposed to feel all peaceful and happy during the holiday season when so much of our financial future is in turmoil?  The article says there is still time for congress to act.  Oh geez, here we are at the mercy of these folks again.  Why is it whenever we are dealing with congress everything is a cliff, or a shutdown?  Why does it always come down to some state of emergency?  The need to act on these issues and act quickly and efficiently.  We do not need to be forced to pay exhorbitant prices for basic food items, like milk.  We are already paying through the nose for gasoline, health insurance, and everything else under the sun.  We need relief, not even greater increases in costs. 

So I say to congress, get it together people!!!  Fix our economy!  Fix our financial situation!!  Get together, work together, make it happen!!!  We put you all in office because we believe you can get the job done, so poop or get off the pot. 

Dog For Sale....

I am so bloody tired I could cry.  Why you ask?  Well, my mother in law came yesterday to spend Christmas with us.  She gets my oldest daughter's room.  My oldest daughter moves in with my middle daughter, and her roomate, the dog, moves in with us.  The dog has always snored, but last night, that was beyond snoring.  The noise coming out of that creatures face was unbelievable.  Never, ever, in my 26 years of having dogs in the house have I ever heard a dog THAT loud. 

The corker in the whole thing is that he is a Puggle.  He is half Pug and half Beagle.  He is about 25 pounds.  That little guy made a noise that sounded like he was 225 pounds.  When I sat up and tapped on his crate to wake him up so that he would stop, he sighed, like I was bothering him.  I wanted to take an air horn and blow it in his face...but I do not keep any laying around the house so I just laid back down and attempted to go back to sleep. 

So then what does he do, starts crying to come out because apparently he thought I was waking him up to get up for the day.  No, son, learn to tell time.  It is 2:00 AM, lay back down, go to sleep, and shut up.  So this post is an ode to my dog, Tai.  It's short for Taino, which were the natives in Puerto Rico....my hubby is Puerto Rican, so there is a reason for the name.

I give you for your viewing pleasure, Tai.....thank goodness there is no sound attachment otherwise you may need earplugs.

Yes, he has a pacifier in his mouth.  The baby never took one, and he found it under the pack-n-play.  He came out from underneath with it in his mouth just like that.  So I HAD to take a picture.  He's a punk, but we love him.

Blended Families....

I struggle often with how my divorce has effected my girls.  I know they are better off, because their father and I were just plain toxic together towards the end.  I struggle with how things now are going to impact their relationships.  The anger and animosity still sitting there has to have some negative impact on them, and that kills me.

During the holidays this feeling is stronger inside.  The more I try to be nice, and rach out olive branches, the more I feel like they are yanked from my hands and used to smack me with over the head.  I just do not understand.  Holding on to ill will, holding on to anger, letting negativity eat you alive, it just is not healthy. 

I pray every day that the kids continue on the paths they seem to be on in spite of everything.  I pray every day that they flourish in wake of the crumbled family unit that we had.  We have both moved on, remarried, had more kids, and yet, the negativity does not end.  I just do not get it.  It makes me sad for my children more than anything.  I personally do not care what someone thinks of me, but when we have to raise children together, it makes a difference how that person treats me in front of those children.  It changes who they are, Dr. Phil taught me that. 

So for Christmas this year, I want peace.  Peace of mind, peace of heart, peace of soul.  Not just for me, but for my children, and everyone.  I want peace, Santa do you hear me? 

The Lament of the Stay at Home Mom (or Dad)

I was just thinking about the way stay at home parents are regarded in society.  I feel like because I am at home people think that I have more time in my day than anyone else.  No, I still have the same seconds, minutes, and hours as anyone.  I just have several different types of activities I have to cram into that time efficiently.

I hear it all over the place, "Well, since you stay at home, you can do...." and, "It must be nice to be at home and not have to work."  Or one of my favorites, "I wish I could stay at home and do nothing."  Yes, me too.  Well, actually I do not wish to do nothing, that would be a lonely and boring existence.  I have to say though, my days are full.  I have two kids in school, and I try to volunteer there as often as possible.  I have a toddler at home who does not nap much, so she is with me almost all day.  She is precocious, and adorable, and active.  My day is full just with taking care of her, feeding her, nursing her, teaching her, molding her into a good and decent human being. 

That does not account for the time I spend with the admittedly neglected dog.  He is now acting like a toddler because he sees that type of behavior gets everyone's attention.  I am currently trying to communicate to him that he is not cute enough to get away with it, a point on which we do not see eye to eye.

Then there is the housework that I desperately try to stay on top of, and sometimes I succeed with flying colors, and other times I crash and burn.  There are the errands, school projects, chauffering the kids to their Dad's house and back on the weekends. 

I know some of you are saying, "Yeah well I do all that and I have a full time job."  To that I say, somewhere, somehow, someone is picking up some part of your life.  Whether it is childcare taking care of your child all day, a maid coming to help with housework, eating out more often because you are too tired to cook dinner.  Whatever it is, I say, there is a HUGE difference. 

I put a lot on myself, my husband will be the first one to tell anyone that.  I often feel like a huge financial burden, having to ask for money for things, when I used to be a single working mom I was the bank.  I controlled all income and spending.  I do not wish to control everything now, but I feel like I traded a piece of my independence to be at home.

So how did I conbat that?  I started a home business...go ahead, get the giggles out...I am currently an Independent Consultant for Arbonne, which is an amazing company with great products.  But my problem is finding the time, support, and did I mention time in which to do what I want with my fledgling business.  This company has amazing perks, products, and people.  I want nothing more than to make my business wildly successful.  But I cannot devote the time that I need to, why?  Because I will not allow myself to take that time from my family.  That is why.  That is it in a nutshell.  I will work around it as best I can until the baby gets older and I can devote more time to running a business. 

Stay at home parents often get a raw deal.  People have a tendancy to look down on us, like we are just lounging around doing nothing all day in the lap of luxury.  When in reality, sometimes I feel like I work in a sweat shop....but I would not trade it for the world.  I love my family, and all I really want is there unconditional love and acceptance in return. 

When exactly did 9PM start feeling like midnight?!?

I just looked at the clock a minute ago...about 5 times.  It is only 9p.m. and yet my body says it feels like it is midnight.  I feel like I have been awake for days.  I got up around 4:30 this morning, maybe that has something to do with it.  Yes, I know, I was being sarcastic.

I have always been an early bird, never really a night owl.  But I used to be able to stay up until at least double digits without a problem.  Man, I really must be practicing my way to the early bird special at 4pm when I am 90 years old or something. 

So, our doctor appointment went pretty well.  Not sure how many of you have kids with reflux, but that is what the doctor thinks the issue is for my middle peanut.  He wants us to keep a food and symptom diary and keep track of everything she eats and drinks, and every time she complains of a stomach ache.  If we do not see significant improvement in a month, we take our log and go to the doctor. 

I hope that this is really simple.  I hope it is reflux and the solution is as easy as watching her diet and monitoring what she eats and how it affects her.  She complained about 1 1/2 hours after dinner tonight that her tummy hurt.  She ate a couple crackers and was fine.  I guess only time will tell.  She is excited about keeping the log, thank goodness!

If anyone has any experience with reflux in an older child I would appreciate some input, and if you are willing to answer some questions, I would really appreciate it!
Now, I think I am going to watch the most interesting thing I have seen all day, the backs of my eyelids. 

Real Illness or Hypochondriac?!?!

I am not sure if any of you out there have a child like mine, but I often have a hard time determining whether or not my middle child is actually sick or is being a hypochondriac.  She has always complained a lot of various things hurting her or not feeling well.  Most of the time just asking a few questions and paying a little special attention to her heals whatever is really ailing her, which I often think is middle child syndrome. 

Lately she has been complaining on and off of stomach aches.  She has complained a couple times that she has thrown up, but no one saw her, heard anything, and she was completely fine directly following her apparent vomitting episode.  But this past Sunday I finally got my proof that there is something going on. 

I picked the girls up from their dad's house, and upon arriving at home they got ready for bed.  A few minutes after bed time she came into my bedroom and complained that she had thrown up.  My husband got her settled back into bed, since I was nursing the baby.  The next morning I found some residue on the toilet seat.  She had eaten stuffed shells, so it was tinged red....which at first freaked me out until I questioned what she had eaten.  So, now I KNOW she has actually thrown up at least one time.

We have a doctor appointment this morning, and I am a little nervous.  My mother thinks it is a gall bladder issue.  I wonder if it is not something like reflux.  It seems like it is always something for her.  She has terrible allergy issues, she is a teeny tiny little thing, she has a double astigmatism, and is very near sighted, etc.  She is absolutely the sweetest, most loving, affectionate, emotional child around.  She will love anyone and everyone she meets.  I feel bad that often when she is complaining about not feeling well, "Mommy, my toe hurts, and my ear hurts, and my side hurts and my finger hurts," that I feel it is mostly attention seeking.  Her grandmother tells me her dad was the same way as a kid.

I just want my baby to be okay.  She is 8 but she will always be my baby.  So if you say prayers, can you say a little one for my sweet pea.  We would both be very appreciative.

Am I Made Of Silly Putty?!?!

Today I feel like I am being pulled in 12 different directions.  We are down to one car, we have Christmas programs, Christmas shopping, moms coming in to town within the week, I have had to drive the kids to their dads and back (which is an 80 mile round trip venture), nursing a toddler, chasing a toddler, trying to clean the house, AAAAHHHHH!!!!

Today is one of those days that the Art of Being Mom looks like a Pablo Picasso painting on crack.  I am writing this while nursing the baby to sleep, talk about multi-tasking.  I have to go pick up Christmas cards, pick up the kids, pick up the hubby, dinner, get the kids dressed and ready for the Christmas program tonight, make myself presentable, toddler, hubby can definitely dress himself thank God. 

I just feel very stressed, and like I am unable to enjoy this time of year.  With all the running and chasing, and doing and going, I feel like I cannot even enjoy what this season is supposed to be about.  I need a break.  Maybe I need to just start earlier, like March.

I hate to sound like a BAH HUMBUG, but sometimes, that is how I feel.  Of course that all changes when I look at my kids and see how excited they are for Christmas to get here. 

Okay, baby asleep, check!  Now, to lay her down for a nap and grab a shower....I hope that smell isnt me, I am pretty sure it is the dog...another task for my ever growing TO DO LIST. 

My heart aches after reading this....

Please read THIS.  I had tears in my eyes after reading this.  My heart aches for anyone and everyone raising children with mental illness, and unable to find the help that they know they need. 

Please, reach out to other parents, especially if they are in need of extra love and support.  Do not let them go through this alone.  Lend them your shoulder, something.

I Sing Like Alicia Keys, And Look LIke Jennifer Aniston.

When my oldest child was a toddler she thought that Jennifer Aniston was me.  We would be in the grocery store and she would see a magazine cover with Jennifer on it, and she would start pointing and saying, "Mommy! Look, it's Mommy!"  People would oooh and ahhh over how cute it was.  I was incredibly flattered.  Well, today, her sister increased the ante.

On the way home from their dad's house we were listening to the radio and singing like we were on a stage in Madison Square Garden.  The new Alicia Keys song came on, "That Girl Is On Fire."  Well, we were giving it our best, and my 8 year old says to me, "Mommy, I cannot tell the difference between you and the singer!"  So, I have made a note to myself to get her hearing tested because obviously she cannot hear anymore.

No really, it was incredibly sweet.  Just as sweet as her blind sister that thought Jennifer Aniston was mommy oh so long ago.  The point here is this, my kids think I look and sound like beautiful, incredibly talented famous people.  Wait, no, that is not the point.  The point is that my girls look at me like the superstar in their lives.  Yes, that is my point.  It is an honor and a privilege to be their mother.  I love them so much.

Our kids hold us in the highest of regards.  They put us on a pedastel, and it is our job to earn that position.  We have to act like the people they perceive us to be.  Be the example of the person you wish to raise your child to be like.  Be there, listen, guide them, give them your time, your heart.  Let them know they too are the superstars in your life.  Teach them to sing out loud, heart and soul!

Blessing, 6 Year Old Beat Up On A Special Ed Bus

I just read a story about a little girl named Blessing.  You can read the story here.  My mouth was dropping open the further I got into the article.  I cannot believe that this child was assaulted on a school bus and she is the one that is being punished. 

This child was attacked by two older kids.  The two bus attendents did nothing, and apparently found humor in the incident that sent the little girl home in hysterics.  Her mother called the police immediately, thank God for her common sense.  Too many people would have first called the attorney or something.  No, this mom kept her wits about her and called the police and an ambulance for someone to come check out her daughter to make sure she was physically okay other than the bruise on her body. 

I am shocked and appauled by this.  At what point to do we step up and protect our children?  At what point do we stop other kids from hurting the younger, weaker ones?  Actually, at what point does that become amusing to an adult, and WHY were they not removed from the bus route immediately??  Even if an investigation were to show that they somehow were not neglegent and contributors to child abuse, they should be removed until proven they were not involved. 

I really hope that beautiful little Blessing gets justice for what has happened to her.  No child should be attacked.  A school bus is certainly no place that any physical altercation should be taking place.  The slightest distraction can cause a horrible accident.  Why the two monitors on this bus were allowing anything like this to happen is beyond me.

Adam Lanza

Yes, that is his name.  Adam Lanza.  This is the person that found the ability in his twisted, screwed up world to walk into an elementary school and murder innocent children and teachers.  That is his name, Adam Lanza.  Why he committed the crime that he did is still unknown, but I think the main point here is that he was deeply troubled.  In the article I linked to his name it states that he was known for showing no emotion, an outsider, a loner, and strange.  At least one person who went to school with him says that it was not a surprise that he did this. 

THAT is the problem with our country.  We have kids walking around through their lives, with something wrong inside.  They are saying that they could see that something was wrong with this person.  Why, why was he just walking around unstable, unemotional, waiting for the wrong thing to set him off?  I am not saying that any person who is anti-social should be locked up, but this kid had a history of instability.

I feel like this kid's village failed him.  I do.  I know many people are just condemning his heinous actions, and I am not trying to minimize the aftermath.  I just think that instead of solely focusing on gun control and whether or not to increase it, decrease it, or just plain enforce what we have, we need to look at our society's handling of mental illness.

We have to make something positive come out of this horror.  Our society has fallen off a much worse cliff than anything fiscal, we have fallen off a moral cliff.  We have lost control of what we allow our children to be expose to.  We have pushed aside those that need help, brushing it under the rug as they are just different.  Different is okay, but mentally unstable needs help!

We have to become accountable as a society.  We have to stand up for our morals and values, and not just talk about, we have to act on it!  We have to return to the days where neighborhoods were safe for kids to play in after school.  We have to return to the time when it was okay to have a disagreement with someone and not worry about them killing you in the street.  We have to return to a time where we respected human life, and cherished all of our kids. 

I implore parents everywhere to stand up and start working together.  We do not have to agree on every parenting aspect, it is okay if we do things differently than each other.  But we have to work together to raise our children in a healthy, thriving environment.  We have to take back our society, and say enough is enough.  Only we can do this, we on the front lines of our home towns.  We are the soldiers in this war.  We fight it with love, compassion, understanding, and most of all COMMUNICATION!!!

I challenge you, you reading this right now, to use your voice right now and state your role.  How are you going to change the world you live in today?  What is your first step in action?  How will you make your world a better place for your children, or your nieces/nephews, your cousins, your neighbors children, any and every child growing up in our society today? 

Christmas Presents...

I am curious to know what everyone is getting their kids for Christmas.  My 10 year old has told me that most of her friends either have or are getting a iPad....which boggled my mind.  She has a Kindle, and her 8 year old sister will be getting a Nook this year.  My oldest is getting a room makeover.  Her sister got one for her birthday in August and it made her older sister green with envy.  Beyond that they are getting books, nail polish, clothes, a couple arts and crafts type things, a board game or two, and that is it from us. 

I was curious what the most popular toys are this year, so I did a  little research and found out what many kids can expect under the tree.  It is a general list so there are some boy toys, some girl toys and a wide age range.  But these are some of the most popular items.  If your child is getting any of these, feel free to give a review once they have played with it. 

1. Leap Frog LeapPad 2.  This is a tablet for kids.  The joke is that it may help keep your kids away from your iPad.  Ummm, that is what high shelves are for, right??  Really though, it looks fun!  It is for ages 3 to 9 years old, which is AMAZING!

2.  HEXBUG Warriors.  This is a really cool looking item.  I do not have boys, or girls that play with HEXBUGS but I would give it a whirl if I did!!  This goes for ages 6 and up.

3.  Melissa and Doug Suspend.  This one looks really fun!  It is for ages 3 and up due to small pieces.  I might have to find this one for my girls.  They are constantly looking for new games to try.  I do not worry so much about the 15 month old getting, and eating, pieces but I do worry about the dog.

4.  Razor Flash Rider 360.  Okay, so I wish this was big enough for me to ride. HA!  I know what you are thinking, and yes, we should all thank God it is not.  This one looks really awesome.  It is for ages 6 and up, and will support up to 160 pounds.  So I guess technically it will support me, but ummm, let's not go testing weight limits. 

5.  Tegu Mobility Magnetic Car.  This will round out our top 5 of the most popular toys.  I have never heard of this one, so if someone has a review I would love for you to post it!!  This toy is for ages 3 to 15 years old.

Honestly, my kids are not picky at all.  They are fairly girly so makeup, jewelry, nail polish, lotions, hair stuff...all the usual stuff makes them happy.  Put that with a couple of odds and ends and one really awesome present and they are set to go.  The little one, yes, that is the one that is proving to be tough.  She is 15 months old, needs nothing, and her favorite thing to play with is her family.  She loves interacting with all of us, including the dog.  So I am having a heck of a time figuring out what to buy her.

Enjoy the company of your family this year, every year.  Enjoy each other, try not to stress, and remember to stop and love those kidlets.

Pre-Teens

My oldest daughter is 10 years.  I know some may not think of that as being pre-teen, but trust me she is very mature for her age....sometimes I think she is a 10 year old in a 25 year old body.  That being said, I have had to come to grips with entering a new phase of parenthood.  Discussing hormones, body changes, and puberty.  Let me just say now, I would rather be hit with a sock full of nickles than to discuss sex with my child.  But I have to, it is the responsible thing to do. 

First, it was the period talk.  I sat her down and discussed what happens in a girls body as she grows and changes.  I talked boobs, hair growth, menstration....it was painful, but I made it through.  Then I swore her to secrecy until she has to discuss this with her children.  Well, maybe not that kind of secrecy, but I told her not to tell her sister.  I also told her that this was something that parents discuss with their kids and not to say anything at school because it is up to her friends' parents to talk about this with them.  So far, no one has called to curse me because my child told their kid about the facts of puberty.

The next topic of discussion, sex.  Oh. My. Gosh.  Just smack me now.  She came home the other day saying that a boy in her class was making a joke about something tickling his pickle.  She said he had to explain to her what that meant.  Now I know I have to have the sex talk with her.  I cannot have fellow fifth graders sharing with her the misinformation about sex that only fifth graders could share.

I am trying to work up the courage for this one.  I would love some advice, book recommendations, a life line....something to make this easier.  I know all parents should be having this conversation with their kids, but I know many do not.  Mostly out of embarrassment, I think.  We need to realize that we are not doing our kids any favors by not discussing things with them.  They will find out one way or another, and they should learn from a reliable source, their parents.

So, after I psych myself up I will take the plunge into the abyss that is the sex talk with my child.  I better get used to it, there are two more after her.  Maybe I will practice on the dog.  He does not understand anyway so I cannot traumatize him too badly.

Someday I will look back on this and laugh....someday.

Co-sleeping....

What we do with our 15 month old is what I call modified co-sleeping.  She naps every day in her own bed.  At night she sleeps mostly in our bed.  Last night she slept the whole night in our bed.  After the happenings of yesterday I needed the extra snuggle of my littlest angel.  I just had to listen to her breathing, see her chest moving up and down while she slept, just know that she was okay lying there next to me. 

Typically, she wakes up frequently.  She wakes up every 1-2 hours.  I start her off in her bed, and then at some point I move her to our bed so that she can continue to nurse and I can get some sleep.  I love her snuggly little self, but I also love having my spot back in the bed.  It's a tug of war every night.  At first I was being given greatly divided advice on co-sleeping.  I turned to Dr. Sears for information.   Upon reading the information I was so happy that I am NOT in fact screwing my child up forever.  I am NOT going to smother her, thank God.  She will actually be perfectly happy and healthy. 

That being said, I am working on getting her out of my bed.  Why?  Well, as I mentioned before I am not getting as good sleep as I was before her.  I have about half the space in the bed, which leads to me being awakened mroe frequently.  I have sleep issues to begin with so this is just adding to my sleep deprivation. 

I stay at home, and thus, am with my little one all day.  So being all day, and all night, I am having a little trouble with not having any time that is alone time.  Not that I would be alone, my hubby is in the bed too.  But I need to feel like I am not constantly in Mommy mode, even if I am.  It's psychological really.  But it is my reason and therefor valid enough. 

So there are benefits to co-sleeping.  Better sleep for parent and baby (I am the odd mommy out in this one apparently), better physiology for baby, decrease in SIDS, and better emotional health.  No one says co-sleeping is necessary for a well developed child.  But co-sleeping is certainly not detrimental to a baby's health and well being.

Co-sleeping is a personal, parenting choice.  I choose to do modified co-sleeping, and that works for our family. 

Attachment parenting

My mother and I were discussing attachment parenting today.  I would be considered an attachment parent.  She and I were discussing extreme behavior, after yesterdays tragedy it seems all people can discuss.  Anyway, I have a 15 month old, who still breastfeeds, who used to be in a carrier almost constantly, and who often finds her way into our bed.

My mom was recounting a story in which she heard of a mom who was breastfeeding her 4 year old, and who had all 4 of her children sleeping in bed with her and her husband.  In my opinion, this is more towards the extreme attachement parenting side of the scale.

My two older kids, 10 & 8 years old, sleep in their own rooms, in their own beds.  They were never big on co-sleeping because they move around a lot and they were not comfortable doing so.  This last little bit does not seem to have that issue.  That being said I am still working to get her into her own bed, why?  Because my hubby and I would ultimately like our bed back, and better sleep.  Sex can happen anywhere, we do not need our bed for that, but neither of us sleep as soundly when she is with us.  We are awakened by her frequently so it can be an issue.

I believe attachment parenting can be a great thing, when done with boundaries.  I do not believe it is healthy to have older children in the family bed.  I believe that people need some privacy, kids included.  I think that there needs to be some inner sense of independence.  I believe that constantly having someone on top of you leads to having issues with being alone.  I think that when kids do not learn how to occupy themselves ever, they can become needy and unable to function without someone else's input.

I wear my kids when they are infants, I breastfeed them until we both want to stop, and allow them in the bed when they really need it.  I also encourage independence, problem solving, and confidence every step of the way.  Attachment parenting is a balancing act, as is every type of parenting.  What works for some will not work for others.  We have to do what works for us and our children. 

I believe that we need to support one another in our efforts of raising good kids.  But in the same instance, we need to be open to someone questioning our practices.  If people do not ask, we do not have an opportunity to teach.  Do not become defensive when people question your methods, instead, look at it as an opportunity to open the eyes of someone to a potentially new and different way of doing something. 

Knowledge is power, and we all share in the ability to be teachers and students.  Instead of withdrawing we should bring all of our attributes to the table and share.  It takes a village to raise a child, and we all need to improve our villages!

Gun Control???

In the wake of the events in Connecticut yesterday many people are discussing our need for stricter gun control laws, but some are calling for LESS gun control.  I am respectful of EVERYONE'S opinion, but I completely disagree with this thinking.  I do not think that teachers should be able to carry a concealed weapon inside a school. 

I do not think ANYONE should be allowed to carry any weapon inside of a school.

The fact of the matter is this, there will be tragedy in our society.  The immediate gut reaction may be, "well if I was there and had been able to carry a concealed weapon, I would have shot him."  Unless you are in that exact situation with those exact circumstances, you have no idea what you would actually do. 

So are we supposed to allow teachers to carry weapons and just think that is not going to scare the hell out of the children?  What about the percentages of accidental weapon firings?  Are we going to be okay with that happening in a school?  What about kids that may find a weapon that is not concealed properly enough, because kids are curious and will seek to play with things that they find.

I think allowing any type of fire arms inside any school is asking for more trouble than it would potential diminish.  The right to bare arms was not designed for dealing with crazy weapons wielding people inside an elementary school.  Our forefathers could not have conceived of this type of action.  This did not happen then. 

I understand the anger and frustration driving this thinking.  I understand being completely disturbed by these events to the point of wanting to physically harm the person who did this, regardless of whether or not he is already dead. 

I think we need to focus on WHY these people are doing these horrible things.  What is the mental capacity of these people, and what is the responsibility of their friends and family to report anyone with this severity of mental illness.  I cannot imagine that this person was NOT mentally ill.  In order to walk into a school that his mother used to work in, and shoot innocent children, he HAS to be mentally ill.  Where was his family in this?   Where was his village of support?  THIS is where we have to combat these tragedies.

We need to ENFORCE the gun laws we have set in place.  Mentally ill people should never, ever have access legally to weapons.  We have laws regarding this and they often go uninforced.  Yes, there are other ways to get weapons, but if we make it as difficult as possible we increase our chances that some how this person will screw up their plan enough that someone will notice, and report them BEFOREHAND. 

I believe we need to protect our children above anything, but I do not agree that allowing teachers and staff to carry concealed weapons is the answer to this problem.  I believe it would further the problem even more.  Go hug your babies, and tell them you love them, because they cannot hear it often enough.

Explaining to the Kids...

When I picked my kids up from school today I breathed a sigh of relief.  I knew they were okay, obviously, but just seeing them made my heart finally relax.  I cannot fathom being a parent and receiving a phone call that there has been an emergency at my kids' school, only to get there and get the news that my child has been shot.  Not just any old emergency, but my ELEMENTARY school child has been shot, and is dead.  This is not within the realm of my reality.  I cannot even imagine.

I had to drive my girls to their father's house for the weekend.  We usually hit really bad traffic on the way down, it's northern Virginia the only traffic we have is BAD traffic.  I told them that something sad and tragic happened today.  I explained the events of the shooting.  They were quiet.  My 10 year old said how said it was that the children died, and how scared everyone must have been. My 8 year old took it to a whole other level.

My precious, loving, caring little 8 year old baby said, "Hmm, right before Christmas.  Those poor people.  I bet those parents have bought Christmas presents for their kids, what are they supposed to do this Christmas without their kids?"  I was a weeping mess by the time she said Christmas the first time.  I had not yet let my brain wander to that thought, that harsh reality.  I had not even given consideration to the idea of these families missing the most important part of Christmas...the children.

My daughter then proceeded to say a Hail Mary and an Our Father for the kids that were lost, and all the people affected by this horror.  Her sister said it with her, and so did I, but it was her idea.  She is the most caring, affectionate child.  She wants attention more than any toy on the market.  She wants acceptance more than any video game.  She wants everyone in her world to be happy more than she wants any material possession.

Telling our kids about this tragedy is important, depending on the age of our children.  Mine are old enough to need to have this explained.  They watch the news sometimes, they read things, they pay attention to what goes on in the world.  I kept my explanation simple, stright forward, and age appropriate.  That is the best advice I have. 

They need to understand, but they need to have it in a perspective that they can grasp at their age.  They need to know they are safe and sound, and that we will do everything we can to protect them from the cold, sometimes cruel world. 

So when you talk to your kids about this or any other life event, keep it simple, to the point, and age appropriate.  Give them no more information than what they need to understand the basic information.  They have an entire lifetime to be jaded by reality, save as much innocence as we can for now.

I just cannot wrap my head around this

Children are innocent beings, pure in heart and mind. It is the adults in the world that jade children and rob them of their innocence. It is the adults that take away their safe havens, whatever that may be.

Children are everything adults should aim to be, positive, energetic, inquisitive, playful, full of unconditional love.

What could anyone think harming innocent babies would do, would accomplish? We are left to try and make sense from nonsense....logic from irrational thoughts and actions. We are left with children who today lost their innocence and a great a deal of their youth, and in too many cases their much too shortened lives.
God rest their souls, and keep them safe because our society did not.

Children are supposed to be safe at school.

Mass shooting in Connecticut.

When we say goodbye to our kids in the morning we take for granted that we may never see them again.  It is with a heavy heart and tears in my eyes that I write this entry.  I cannot believe that someone could be so sick and twisted as to walk into an elementary school with weapons and murder innocent children.

I cannot hug my kids enough, tell them I love them enough, worry about them enough.  My heart literally breaks for these parents and families who lost their children in this horror.  I cannot omagine how they or the parents of the other children affected by this will ever heal. How do you ever let your child out of your sight again?!

This world can be a cold, cruel place, but ot does not have to be.  We have to step up and take care of each other, love one another, respect human life.  Have mercy on innocent children for goodness sake.

I just cannot fathom.

Formula Freebies...

There is a push in today's mother/baby units to remove the free sample formula.  In New York, Mayor Bloomberg is exercising his efforts to increase breastfeeding by telling formula companies that they may no longer provide free samples of formula to the new mothers.  Many people are up in arms over this.  People seem to think that he is trying to take away a mother's right to choose whether or not she breastfeeds her child.  In reality, he is trying to level the playing field. 

These companies are simply exercising a marketing campaign.  They are selling their product to new moms by giving it away first.  These same companies do not provide free samples for moms who choose to breastfeed exclusively.  I did not leave the hospital with breast milk storage bags given to me free.  No, I left with a can of formula, which I did not use.  I have been nursing my 15 month old since the day she was born, and have no use for formula.  If I did need it, I would be okay with the idea of having to buy it myself. 

No one is taking away the choice to breastfeed or bottle feed.  What is being taken away is the advertising to new moms who may be inclined to give up on breastfeeding when it gets tough, and sometimes it gets tough, because they have this free can of formula sitting there.  It is meant to encourage moms to give breastfeeding a chance.  This country is one of the only ones where breastfeeding is almost deemed as a bad thing by a large group of people.  They become vehement at the site of a woman nursing her baby.  Only in America.

We claim to stand for the free and the brave, but turn our backs on the most basic of sustainance giving practices, breastfeeding.  Our society is filled with over weight, under exercised, disease riddled people and we cannot figure out why.  Hello, wake up!!!  It is what we put into our bodies, starting from DAY 1!!!!

So I say, ditch the FREE formula at the hospitals!!!  It is still your choice whether or not to breastfeed or formula feed.  No one is taking that away from anyone.  You just have to pay for it, which you do anyway once you run out of that first can.  

Over Extended

You know, there is a stigma that stay at home Moms are lazy.  That we sit around all day Facebooking and blogging, neglecting our homes and our kids....hey wait, where't the baby???  KIDDING!  She's NURSING!  That is how I have a moment to blog. Anywho, I digress...

Do any of you stay at home Moms have issues with over extending yourself, mostly out of combatting the stigma of being thought of as lazy??  Do you sign up to do every party, bake every snack, contribute to every art project your kids have going on because you, "are home" and "have the time" to do everything under the sun?!?!  This is an affliction, I recognize this, and I quite frankly have this affliction myself. 

This week I have two class picnics to attend and contribute either snacks, toys, tent, or time too...if not all of the above.  I have to schedule a dr appt for the baby, I have to take my car in to be tuned up, I have dinner to cook, lunches to make, breakfasts, a house to keep clean, a dog to walk and pay attention to, and the baby...God bless her soul, my sweet baby who keeps me on my toes every second of the day that she is NOT nursing, or eating somehow.

I have a very busy life, and yet, I often feel like I could be doing more...not sure when I think this should be happening, but I do know it's all psychological.  I would go to counseling for it, but who has the freaking time?!?!

So I will continue to keep doing everything I can for the kiddos, and you know what, in the long run....they will look back and appreciate that they could always count on Mom to be there....even if it was just to bake some goodies.  They will look at their childhoods and recall me juggling everything I could just to make sure they know I love, support, and will be there for them as much as I can. 

That makes it all worth it. 

Okay, time's up, gotta run....

Arrogance VS. Confidence

There is a fine line between arrogance and confidence.  How we define that line is a bit muddied, and how we keep our kids on the right side of that line can sometimes be difficult.  I think it is important to keep kids humble, but still proud of themselves.  They should know their shortcomings, but more so know and be proud of their strengths. 

My oldest daughter has ears that stick out, straight out.  She is well aware of this, we have discussed it in great length.  It is how God made her, how she was intended to be, and what gives her a uniqueness.  She is comfortable in her own body, and thus, when anyone says anything about her ears her response is usually, "Yes, I have big ears, and what?"  She makes it a non-issue.  That takes the helium out of any potential bully's balloon, really fast!  She has taken control of something that could otherwise bring her some grief in her life.  Instead of hiding them, having surgery, or whatever else, I taught her to embrace them, but never become arrogant about it.  She doesn't make fun of anyone else proverbial big ears, she treats people as she wishes to be treated. 

I was born with a birth defect leaving me missing one finger on each hand.  I was ridiculed as a child.  I did not know which way to turn.  I internalized every comment anyone made.  I grew up fearful, self loathing, and very sad.  There is absolutely no reason that anyone should grow up that way, especially in this day and age of technology. 

I raise my kids by the Golden Rule.  Do Unto Others As You Would Have Done Unto You.  I do not buy into that, "boys will be boys," or "girls will be girls" crap.  No, human beings will be human beings.  I teach my girls not only how to treat people, but also, how to handle the treatment that may be put unto them.  I am well aware of how things can affect the psyche of young girls, been there done that.  So I take an active role in making sure that these girls do not internalize things the way I did. 

As I said in the beginning, there is a fine line between arrogance and confidence.  It is a balancing act, constantly, with no net.  The moment our confidence makes someone else feel poorly about themselves, the line has been crossed and we are now walking through the arrogance field. 

Take care in teaching our children how to be in our society today.  Take care of their mental well being, their emotional well being, but still teach them inner strength.  Let them know about our own internal struggles, it helps them feel more attached to us, and to open up a little more.  My girls have seen me cry, have heard me yell, but most of all, have seen me smile and laugh through it all.  Be human in front of our children, so they learn how to be human in such an inhumane world.

What is the opposite of the baby blues???

I am just completely in love with my kids. My older girls are so sweet, smart, and justamazing. The baby is just so happy, fun, and a ball of joy. I am just one proud Mama today, every day!

POOL DAY!!!!

Today is the unofficial start of summer!  With pools opening everywhere, grills being sparked up, cookouts, swimsuits (okay not every aspect is great), and being outside with friends and family, what could be better!!! 

Don't forget to apply sunscreen, drink plenty of water, and get outside to enjoy the wonderful weather!!!

Our pool opens at 10 am this morning, so I need to get a jump on getting ready!!!  Three kids, hubby, sssshhh, don't tell the dog he doesn't get to come on this one...making lunch, packing the cooler and getting everyone ready...oh yeah and don't forget the pool passes!!!! 

Have a great day everyone, be safe, and have fun.  Enjoy Summer any way you can!

Ssssshhh, we're going to the zoo today.....

Yesterday my oldest daughter was talking about the zoo and the exhibits that were closed the last time we were there.  I was shocked she remembered the last time we were there, as I think it has been at least a year, maybe two since we went.  I was pregnant last year, and not feeling all that great, among many other things that had me not up to par. 

   So I asked her if she would be up for going on Sunday....and of course she said yes.  We have decided NOT to tell her 7 year old sister.  So after church this morning we are going to come home, change our clothes, and pack a small lunch, and leave.  I asked the oldest sister to keep the two younger ones occupied while I make some sandwiches and pack some snacks, to avoid being interrogated by the 7 year old.  Then I will declare we need to go to the store, and off we are headed to the zoo.  It is really an honor to live so close to our nation's capitol, and too many people do not take advantage of all that we have so nearby. 

So our adventure today is to the zoo...I love the zoo....I can't wait to post the reaction and aftermath of this trip.  It's the baby's first trip to the zoo!

The Barefoot Executive

Have you read this book? I just started it. I am digging it so far. I am feeling like Carrie and I have similar personalities. So hopefully I can gain some great direction.

Family Fun Night

              So last night was Family Fun Night at the girls' school. I took all three girls. The hubby stayed home, he wasn't feeling up to par, and had a really long day so I told him to just sit this one out and hang at home.  

Since coming to this school I have had a little bit of a hard time making friends.  I have made plenty of acquaintances, but real friends have been a little bit of an issue.  It's hard when you're coming into a group where most of the people have known each other for years, often the duration of the lives of their children.  Being the new Mom in town can make for a rough transition. 

Last night I talked to a few Moms that I see all the time, a few a rarely get a chance to speak with and even one or two that I have never met.  We were only there for a couple hours, but the girls had a blast, and I enjoyed the socializing.  I guess it was a success since my family had fun!

It did remind me though of how hard it has been to crack into this social scene.  It takes me right back to school when I would move and be the new kid.  It was so scary and intimidating to make new friends.  I am much more outgoing now than I was as a child and STILL it seems so frustrating.

Nevertheless, I had some great conversation last night, chatted up a friend about some fierce new shoes she was rockin', and the girls had a blast....so it was a success!

Personal Growth

We all have some part of ourselves that needs work, some sort of baggage.  Whether from our childhoods, a physical impairment, emotional one, etc.  Everyone has something.  When we find outselves in a relationship we have to look at that other person and ask, "Is there 'something' a thing I can live with forever?"  If the answer is yes, then we have a potential life long relationship.  If the answer is no, then there are some serious questions we need to ask ourselves about why we are with that person, and for how long we intend on wasting everyone's time. 

The thing about having personal issues is that whatever they are, the owner of the issues should be working on them.  Rome wasn't built in a day, but it was built!  I think it is very important that regardless of whatever issues we are willing to live with, we should all be striving to grow beyond those issues, with the help and support of our mate, family, friends. 

It is wonderful to accept people for who they are, it is vitally important, but it is equally important to be a support to them as they grow and learn more about themselves, life, human nature, whatever they need to learn about in order to grow. 

Life is about change, growth, learning.  Life is our teacher, and it is up to us to be the best students we can be.  Don't throw your education down the toilet by getting caught up in the baggage of your life, and not working on yourself every day. 

No one will treat you better than you treat yourself, that is my Dr. Philism of the day.  But it is true, if you treat yourself like you are a worthless piece of crap, why would anyone treat you any differently. 

Love yourself enough to find your self worth, and care for yourself like you would a newborn baby.  Don't neglect or abuse your body or your mind, they are the only ones you get in this lifetime, and they really need you to thrive. 

Tell the truth or spare the feelings???

There is no easy way to parent effectively.  Parenting is a get your hands dirty, roll around in the mud kind of job.  Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe has NOTHING on being a parent day to day.  I often feel like I am playing tennis against MYSELF!  I have to be on both sides of the court, running back and forth, lobbing the ball, trying to win, but trying not to beat my own arse into the ground.  It is a balancing act of epic proportions.

Here is but a tiny example.  I am a room parent for my older daughter's class.  I volunteer in BOTH my girls' classes but I am official for my older daughter's class.  Well, the school is doing end of the year testing this week, Terra Nova testing.  My younger daughter is taking these tests for the first time, as they start in 2nd grade. 

My older daughter's class is having a party at the end, on Friday, to celebrate being done with these boring, hours and hours long tests all week.  My younger daughter caught wind of this party, and started asking her sister questions.  In her excitement, my older daughter laid it all out on the line, the sack races, hula hooping, sticker tattoos, music, snacks.  I could see my younger daughter's eyes about to pop out of her skull in sheer desire for everything her big sis was describing. 

And then it happens, the little one turns to me and asks, "How come my class isn't having a party?"  Like a deflated balloon zipping around the kitchen running out of air and screaching a high pitched squeal I fell apart. I hate having to disappoint any of my girls, but life happens. So I explained the logistics, and how she will have a party on some day that her sister won't....and blah blah blah.  She made me promise to be there...sure, no problem, DONE!  They are great kids with a ton of understanding, they make parenting a lot less messy.

Neutral Browns

Looking good doesn't have to take an act of God to accomplish.  Even Moms on a tight time budget, and money budget can easily accomplish this.  Here is a cute, simple look that doesn't have to break the bank.  A comfy, cute brown ruffle dress, with some nude strappy heels, and brown pearl accessories.  When you're in the house you can ditch the heels for some flip flops or flats if you need to, or not. 

The dress:

A-kine, with the gathering at the waist, to hide any tummy issues, and really make your waist look TINY!!!  Some ruffling to dress it up a bit, but comfy knit fabric to keep it wearable all day long.

The accessories:

Who doesn't love simple pearls???  Put these brown ones with the dress above and the shoes below, and BAM, HOT MAMA!!

Yes, I know these are Louboutins...a girl can dream can't she....lol...I have the $24 Kohls equivalent. 

So there ya go, a super cute, comfy, great outfit!!  It's as simple as that.  Every woman, Mom or not, deserves to look great and it shouldn't be that difficult to do it!

Black and white ensemble

A simple, cute black and white outfit.  Accessories can make a look come together completely.  I have to be careful with them due to my grabby 7 month old, but the bag, glasses, flip flops, and belt would still work for me.    Just one way a Mom can keep it cute, stylish, and STILL comfortable!!!

Dark Chocolate Bark

I gave up desserts for Lent, and lost 10 pounds...WOOT.  Well, now that I am allowed to partake again, I was looking for a dessert that would calm the sweet tooth, but not pack those 10 pounds back on, plus some. 

My friend gave me a recipe for Dark Chocolate Bark....OMG!  Delicious, and not too bad for the waistline either!! 

DARK CHOCOLATE BARK RECIPE:

24 OZ DARK CHOCOLATE MORSELS
1 CUP DRIED BERRIES (CHERRIES, BLUEBERRIES, OR  CRANBERRIES)
1 CUP NUTS (ALMONDS, WALNUTS, OR PECANS)

Line a 12X15 pan with wax paper.  In a glass bowl, microwave the chocolate morsels for 3 minutes, stirring every minute.  Spread the chocolate out in the pan, sprinkle the berries and nuts throughout, and use a spoon to press them in.  Refrigerate for 2 hours, and there ya go!!!  Cut it up and enjoy!

Avoiding the Rut

Once a woman becomes a Mom it is way to easy to fall into the rut of comfy clothes.  Yoga pants, t-shirts, tennis shoes, etc. can become way too commonly worn every day wear.  My children are 9 years, 7 years, and 7 months old.  I wear high heels, dresses, wedges, flip flops too.  I don't wear make-up too often, but my 7 month old has a love of kissing my face, and I would rather have the lovies than to be wearing make-up.  I keep it simple and comfortable, but still fashionable. 
My husband tells me frequently that I look amazing, yes he is biased, that is why I married him.  I take about 30-40 minutes, including shower, to get ready.  I have to blow dry my hair or else it looks a hot mess.  But as far as clothes go, I am always looking for what is simple, cute, and looks great on me....regardless of the trends.  I know my body, and what compliments my assets...ba dum dum.  I keep in mind that I am a nursing mother, but that I am also not wanting my boobs just out there. It isn't all that difficult to be a Mom with an infant, who doesn't nap let's not forget that, two school age children, not a lot of time, and STILL look good. 
I would love to be able to help other Moms stay looking good and avoid the yoga pants rut.  I don't spend a lot, keep it simple, and ALWAYS stick with what I know looks good on my body type!

Working From Home

It is a job just trying to find work to do from home.  I feel like I could put in more hours looking than I could actually doing whatever work I end up doing.  Searching, researching to make sure companies are legitimate, looking for as many leads as I can find, checking out the lead sources.  It is a job just trying to find a job!

I am not sure how much time I have right now to devote to working, but as Gabs is getting a little older, and will be able to occupy herself a little more without needing me or boobie in her face constantly, I would like to be able to build up a little niche of time to devote to working from home.  Now, if I can only find the opportunity I am looking for, my proverbial needle in a haystack!

My High Needs Baby...

Yesterday was a trying day.  I was overcome by tears when after trying for 2 hours, I could not get my 7 month old to take a nap.  I was laying in my bed nursing her and searching on my phone for some answers.  I found a very interesting article that has made a world of difference in my mind. 

This article, "12 Features of a High Need Baby," changed my outlook.  My daughter is a sweet, loving, alert, attentive baby.  She sleeps well at night, waking a couple times to roll over and nurse but nothing major.  She does not nap during the day for more than 20 minutes unless on rare occassion.  This article gave me the reassurance that its okay that my child is the way she is.  It does not mean that I am not doing right by her, in fact the complete opposite, I am doing exactly what she needs.  She needs me. She is a high needs baby, and that is okay. 

She is perfect the way she is, and so am I.  We will do our best to work with her personality, and cater to what works for us and her.  I love my daughter, high needs, low maintainance, whatever personality type she has....but it felt very good to read a little reassuring article.  Thank you Dr. Sears.

Back from Vacation....whew, I need a Vacation...wait?!?!

Well, we successfully took three kids from the Washington, D.C. area to Puerto Rico, and back.  Everyone made it safe and sound, we all had a fabulous time, and the kids did not want to come back! It was a beautiful trip, and now it is back to the grind of daily life. 
Traveling with children can be scary, some of the looks of our fellow travellers were priceless.  I carried the baby in a baby carrier, varying between my Moby Wrap, and an Ergo carrier.  The two older kids, 9 & 7 years, hauled their carry on suitcases through the airports like pros.  Hubby led the way, kids in the middle, and Mom carrying up the rear...we looked like a caravan but we made it without any complaining, no lost children, no lost luggage, and fully in tact. 
My husband even proclaimed that traveling with these kids was easier than traveling with anyone he had ever travelled with...WOOT! It's all in the planning and execution. 

Scrambled Eggs in Pita

This morning my 7 year old proclaimed that she wanted the same thing for breakfast this morning as yesterday.  This would be scrambled eggs inside of a toasted pita....with a little Italian cheese in the eggs. 
This time though, she wanted to be the "assistant chef."  I cracked enough eggs for her, her sister, and my hubby (who is still upstairs sleeping with the baby...lol).  She scrambled and I toasted the pitas...added the cheese.  She informed me that I make eggs different than Daddy.  Well there is a surprise, we do a lot of things differently.
She is growing up so fast.  She is my itty bitty...meaning, she is really tiny for her age.  At almost 8, in August, she weighs 40 pounds, and is a little over 3 1/2 feet tall.  She has always been on the small side.  This means that often times it is harder for her to do things that her peers can do easily. 
This was a great morning for me...cooking with my itty bitty!

Support Groups for Kids

Have you ever thought, gosh my kid needs a support group for _______.  When I got divorced I thought maybe I would need to find some outlet, some group, some something for my girls to be able to handle the breaking apart of their family.  Thankfully, they were able handle things pretty well.  They were fairly young, 5 &3 when we separated.  It was hard, but manageable.  In the end, they are happier and healthier mentally for it.  We have both moved on and remarried, and had more kids.  The girls are surrounded by people who love them, and thrive in sharing their love with us all as well.

It is not this easy for many children of divorce.  There have been times that things between myself and my ex got ugly, there will be more times too, I am almost certain.  But for the most part we both do a good job of not letting the kids be hit by it.  We keep it between ourselves, and put on the good ole happy face in front of the children. 

The thing I struggle with the most is that my girls have had to pay the biggest consequences for our choices.  I will probably struggle with that until the day I die.  I accept it, but I cannot help sometimes to feel that twinge of guilt over it.  I just thank God that they are happy, healthy, well adjusted girls.  I love them with all my heart, and want the very best for them, for us all. 

Children need an outlet for their feelings.  Whether we involve them in sports, arts, church, therapy, etc.  They, just like we adults, need a niche in their world that is for them.  A place where they can just be themselves, and be accepted and nurtured for who they are, outside of the home.  Whether the child is a brainiac, or a jock, an artist, or a poet.  Everyone needs a place to express themselves freely, openly, and without ridicule. 

Every child needs love.

Affect Change Through Positivity Not Through Brut

I am a strong advocate of standing up for your beliefs, but the way in which you stand up can be an art form.  Those that stand up with diplomacy, conviction, and ration are more likely to be heard and to affect change.  People that stand up with brut strength usually just cause an equal and opposite reaction in the situation they are trying to change, or get change out of fear and loathing.

In the USA we are all entitled to our beliefs and opinions, and expressions.  But we still have to live within certain boundaries and limitations.  I am proud to say that one of my strong character traits is my ability to be open, diplomatic, and still get my point across. 

This is something I am passing on to my girls, because out in the real world, it can come in really handy. 

Ever Wish Your Two Nostrils Would Cooperate???

We have been fighting a cold around this house for about a week or so now.  I am getting better, but back to the one open nostril, one closed nostril situation.  What is up with that?  Why does that happen?  Just how much snot can one nostril produce in one day???  Okay, okay, that was too much...lol..

The baby is finally napping.  I vacuumed the first level of stairs, cleaned the foyer, threw in laundry, showered, walked the dog this morning, and have done some dishes....I feel like I have sooo much more to do and yet feel like I have done so much already. 

I also wrote to the school regarding the Hunger Games issue.  Waiting to hear back on that one.  I need to dust, vacuum some more, fold more laundry, create a clone....haha...no really.

You know, often times stay at home Moms feel like the forgotten souls.  I know I struggle with feeling inadequate because I do not contribute financially to our household.  I feel a bit insecure when I think of being completely financially dependent on my hubby, and worry about the what ifs of my life.  But I could not, and would not, want to stick my baby in daycare to work.  I would love to work from home, but right now, with Gabs not napping reliably....well, I would need a good deal of flexibility.  I am pretty good with typing, so data entry would be great, if I could do it at my leisure, which is usually 4 am.  As Gabs gets older, I will be hunting more voraciously for something I can do from home, legitimately, and make a decent buck, or two.  Right now, here I am....doing what I can to take care of my family the best way I can. 

Any Other Bloggers Having This Issue???

I am having a heck of a time getting my Blogger App to work on my Android.  Does anyone else have an issue with this app???

Hunger Games

I have a question for you parents out there.  How young is too young for the Hunger Games book/movie?  It is rated PG-13, so obviously the movie industry feels that 13 is an appropriate age, unless accompanied by a parent. 

My 7 year old 2nd grader came home today complaining that several of her classmates were playing a new game called, Hunger Games.  I asked her what they were doing, and she said they were pretending to use weapons and kill each other.  Now, I am not naive, but I had hoped that my 7 year old would be for a little while yet.

My 9 year old said her classmates are obsessed with the Hunger Games, and she quite frankly is sick of it....I love that kid.  I will also say, my kids go to a private, Catholic School.  I don't know if I am wrong in expecting more because of this, but I do, and my bank account says that I have a right to, since all my money goes to them. 

So, I want to hear from parents, what are your thoughts on the Hunger Games, what is old enough for the book and/or movie?  Do you think that I shouldn't be at all surprised that 7 & 8 year olds are enacting the concept on the playground?  Should I mention it to the teacher?  Or am I just being an overconservative prude?  Go ahead, give me your honest opinion...

Pulling An All Nighter....

The art of being Mom means being able to pull an all nighter with a teething baby, and still be awake and alert enough to get the older kids through their activities for today....which is getting them ready for and being with them through their first penance. 

Our poor lil Lumpkin is teething and I have been up all night with her.  The hubs has to work today, and is sick, the older girls are not feeling well, we are all fighting allergies to the max....even the six month old baby is sick, on top of teething....oy.

So, I am headed for my second cup of coffee at 7am, while she cat naps in the bouncy seat....all wrapped up in her blankie.  My 7 year old is sitting here doing her examination of conscience before her first penance....and I am at peace with the world...what other way is there to be.

Springtime Pasta

Veggie Wednesday brought us Springtime Pasta.  Rigatoni, with asparagus, sugar snap peas, mushrooms, sun dried tomatoes, white wine sauce, and a sprinkle of cheese.  The kids devoured it....and asked for it for lunch the next day.  That is how I judge how much they REALLY like it.

7 Layer Salad, Adapted....

Last night I made a 7 layer salad, well, a version of a 7 layer salad. I made it with mixed greens, garbanzos, cherry tomatoes, green onions, red pepper, yellow pepper, and cucumber. The recipe called for some creamy dressing and ham, which I left out both. My hubby is allergic to pork and we don't like goopy dressings....sooo, I abbreviated my version. The kids LOVED it sooo much. My kids are terrific eaters. Some comments I heard during dinner last night were as follows:

"Garbanzos, you know how I love me some garbanzos!"
"I love eating colorful food, it makes me feel like I am eating art."
"Mommy, you are the best cook ever!"
"If there are leftovers, can we have this in our lunch tomorrow?"

This is a picture of our dinner. The girls ate their broiled chicken on top of the salad, with just a little plain white rice on the side.

Neighborhood Watch...

Am I the only person that is wondering how long we have to listen to this crap about the Neighborhood Watch moron that killed a teenager???  I mean, arrest him, charge him, and move forward.  What the heck are they waiting for?  He was told NOT to follow the kid by the 911 dispatcher.  They specifically told him they did NOT need him to do that....sooo, if, and it's a BIG IF, he actually was attacked by this child, then it was his own fault.  He was told NOT TO FOLLOW the kid, so for him to continue his pursuit says to me he had a motive beyond just surveillance. 

This guy murdered this kid, that is how I see it.  Unless someone can show me evidence to the contrary, he killed him in cold blood, and should be punished to the fullest extent of the law.

Doing a Happy Dance....

My little 6 month old doll baby is napping, in her own bed....praise God, Allah, Jesus, Buddha, whomever the most high praise can be praised to.  She fell asleep under protest, at 9:35, and almost 2 hours later, she is still asleep.  I did some online research for vacay, some vacuuming, some laundry, some dishes, planned dinner, etc....and now just waiting for her to get up so we can go walking....get my exercise on for today.  It is a wonderful first day of Spring!!!!

Post baby bodies.

I am counting calories, walking, doing everything I can while nursing, in order to lose the last of the baby weight.  I am one of those Moms who does not lose massive poundage while nursing.  Much the opposite, I think my body tries to hold on to everything it can while I am nursing in order to ensure that it has enough.  I always have had over supply issues with every child, so obviously my body thinks it has it all figured out. 

Well, because of this, it is sometimes frustrating for me because I just have such a hard time getting back in to pre-pregnancy condition.  I know, things shift, bodies change, I have a gorgeous lil princess for it all...blah blah blah.  I get it, I love her to pieces, as I love my other two, and wouldn't trade any of them to get rid of the stretch marks I have.  That being said, I also wanna feel like I look like a hot mama.  Being told by other people is one thing, but I want to FEEL it inside my own self.  I wanna love the body I am in, and feel like I look beautiful and sexy. 

I do not want to be skinny, that isn't me.  But I want to be in great shape, and not feel flabby.  And while I continue to work on my image, I also make sure to always remind myself, that a Mommy body is much different than a teen body, or that of someone that has never had kids. 

I like this website The Shape of a Mother, because it shows real moms.  Not the Beyonce 2 month post baby photos we all secretly cringe at....the real deal.  Having a baby can be very traumatic on a body, and often it is never the same again.  The ideal is to create a new palate, an improved version, a body that you look at and smile.  That is my goal....to look at myself naked, and smile....my hubby does when he looks at me, and I want to also.