Someday....

Some day I will have all my Christmas shopping done before Black Friday.

Some day I will have all the Christmas baking done two weeks before Christmas and shipped out one week before Christmas.

Some day I will be able to wrap the presents and put them under the tree without fear of toddler or dog.

Some day I will be able to spend the last week before Christmas with my feet up and relaxing....possibly laughing at the me that used to be, and my friends who still are the me I used to be....

Some day I will have Christmas cards made, addressed and mailed out two weeks before Christmas....

Some day I will spend the entire holiday season without stress or worry that I am forgetting someone, some present, or something that has the potential to ruin the holiday season....

Some day I will long for the craziness of the holiday season, because it is half the fun of it all anyway....

When To Step In??

When your kids are fussing and arguing with one another, when do you step in and intervene? Do you wait until things escalate to a physical level? Are there magic words that trigger you to say enough is enough? What is it that takes you from 'let them work it out,' to 'oh hell no, not in my house!'

I am lucky in the sense that while my two oldest do experience sibling rivalry it has been thus far pretty tame. There is usually some tattling, some she said/she said and the occasional stomping off in a huff. But for the most part, at 11 & 9, they have not yet worked my total last nerve. But they do argue, frequently.

Part of the problem is the complete opposite ends of the spectrum on which their personalities lie. My oldest is headstrong, confident, bossy and generally thinks she knows almost everything. Her younger by two years sister tends to be more insecure, and not have the voracity for life her sister does. She prefers to spread the love, leave the mess, and half-ass whatever chores she has because she does not like doing them. I hate to be brutal, but it's true. She is also the most affectionate of the two, and would give the shirt off her back to anyone, including her bossy, know-it-all sister.

Last night is a perfect example of how it goes here. They are Rainbow Loom obsessed, as are most kids their age right now. So they set up in the master bedroom to do a band exchange while we watched our nightly wind-down bit of tv. For those who do not know, the Rainbow Loom is a device on which you use small plastic rubber bands to make bracelets, rings, or other little creations. It has been all the rage for a little while now.

Anywho...within minutes, the bargaining table had degraded into a yelling match. The younger sister did not want to give up any of her white bands, and the older sister was desperate for the white bands. There were some successful trades, and negotiations. I heard a couple instances in which I felt the older sister was trying to take advantage of the younger one, but was pleasantly surprised when the younger one did not fall for the trickery.

I let them go on, bickering and all, until I heard the sentence, "Why won't you trade that, you're just stupid." That is when I called foul, and told them to put it all away. I will not tolerate either of them calling the other stupid. I know there are far worse names to be called, but in my mind it all starts somewhere.

If I let her get away with calling her sister stupid, what will she call her next? When will she lose her mind and call me stupid? How does calling her stupid help the situation at all? The answer is it does not help, it is not okay, and she better not call me stupid, ever.

My breaking point is name calling. You can disagree, you can argue. But if you stoop to name calling, that is when I call foul and send you both to neutral corners.

And all I was trying to do was watch Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer!!!

Sick Day

Yesterday my oldest got up, got dressed for school and then came down almost in tears. This is what happens when she does not feel well. She wants to go to school but she also wants to stay home. She knows she should go to school but she does not handle not feeling well very well at all. So she stayed home.

Staying home when you are borderline sick, but probably should have gone to school anyway gets you stuck with a little sidekick. So here sit my oldest and my youngest sharing a granola bar while watching Food Network.

This is pretty much how my oldest daughter's day went. By the end of the day a miracle happened, she is cured, and ready to head back to school.

She proclaimed to me last night, "I don't know how you do it with her all day. I love her and all, but she is really a handful, and kinda needy. Even if I am vomiting I am going to school tomorrow."

I did not have the heart to tell her that her little sister is very much like most two year old children, because someday I would like to have grandchildren and I do not want to scar her for life. The little one worships her big sisters, and just wants to be like them, and with them all the time. It's really adorable, except when you are 11 and trying to play hookie because you are over tired and slightly sick.

One Grain of Sand at a Time....

I love this quote because I often try the whole life overhaul and when I fail I feel beat down. I cannot figure out why I cannot eat healthy, exercise every day, keep the house spotless, the kids eternally happy and cooperative, the spouse happy, and the dog adequately walked, while I myself look like I stepped out of a magazine every day.

I have much more success when I take on little changes and build from there. You know, like the pyramids. One block at a time, one grain of sand at a time if you need. You cannot make life sweeping changes that will stick, overnight. Be realistic in your expectations of yourself.

When we start the new year, which is soon again can you even believe it?!?! We claim that this year will be better, we will eat healthy, workout every day, be positive every day. We claim that we are going to be totally different than we have been in years past. Why? What is so bad about who you are that every time a new year rolls around you feel you need a complete overhaul? Yes, we should exercise regularly, yes we should eat healthy, yes we should do our best to maintain kindness towards others. But these things should not be part of an overhaul we need. I get it, we get addicted to junk food. I get it, we do not exercise because we are just too darn busy to fit it in. Those things are best added in small doses to ensure successfully sticking with them.

What is it in your life that you are so unhappy about? Is it your job? Is it the way you parent? Is the spouse you are to your partner? What are you so desperate to change about yourself, and why? Yes, change is possible, and probable if done correctly. But do not beat yourself up if you backslide, to err is human, remember. If you are unhappy with your job, do not quit until you have a new job. Do not come home and dump your angst on your spouse every day. Realize that you are where you are for a reason. Then, brainstorm with ways to change your situation. Share THAT with your spouse, he or she may be able to help you. Determine where your passion lies, and how you can get there. Share THAT with your spouse, he or she may be a valuable asset to you accomplishing your goal which will bring you closer together.

Are you in need of some parenting tweeks? Do you constantly yell at your kids, with no result, or even worse with the result that they just become upset? Maybe you should take a parenting class, there is no shame in learning new skills, it is for the sake of your children. Leave all pride at the door. Maybe you need to seek counseling for anger that is being focused on the children. Maybe that is how your parents treated you, stop and think how it made you feel about your parents, is that how you want your children to feel about you? Obviously not, if it is an overhaul you are trying to make.

Whatever changes you desire to make you need a plan of action, not just the notion that you need a change. You need to figure out what your end goal is, and formulate a plan on how to get from point A to point B. And then you need to come up with a contingency plan, because you will need one at some point. Next, be real with yourself, you may fail, several times. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again. Try as many times as it takes until you get it right. Make as many plans as you need.

Seek support from friends and family. These people are here to lift you up, to inspire you. Any one that tears  you down with criticism need not be in your circle. Surround yourself with the people that are where you want to be, and become the best student ever. Stop trying to pretend you have it all together, you do not. No one has it ALL together. We are human, and to err is human.

Once you have found the support you need for change, there is another step in that process. Be the support for someone else. One of the best ways of learning something is to teach it. When you have your basic foundation, start looking to help those around you. You will feel inspired within yourself to do more, change more, do better, stay on track. You will also be inspiring others to make small changes which lead to big changes in their own lives. How awesome will it feel when you have not only accomplished your own goals but been a support for someone else to accomplish their own, and for them to support someone, and so on and so forth.

So about this whole "I'm fat," thing....

There was a story a while back where a mom outlawed use of the word fat around her child or something like that. I thought she was a little kooky for it, but hey, it was all out of love and efforts to protect her daughter.

Yesterday, I got to thinking. Maybe she has something. I mean, outlawing a word around your child will only work for so long, like until your kid goes to school. But I know I frequently refer to myself as feeling fat, or my fat ass, or something along those lines.

Now, while I am joking, mostly, I am beginning to wonder if one of my daughters would ever begin to take my comments personally, because she is build like me. So I have to wonder if she considers herself fat?? I know she has commented on being short, but hey that is beyond anyone's control. She is not short, she is average, but most of her classmates are ABOVE average. So she feels short.

One time she did make a comment about wanting to exercise more, to be in better shape. I asked her how much better shape she could possibly be in, because she looked pretty in shape to me. She pointed out her slight little tummy. The only place on her body where she has any body fat. Which is exactly how I referred to it.

She has a tendency to have the highest of expectations of herself, a bit anal retentive at times. She is a control freak to the utmost. She is a first born daughter. She strives academically, knows everything there is to know and will share it with anyone who needs to be told.

She also has a heart of gold, is the most well-behaved child I could have EVER asked for, and is so naturally beautiful it is almost scary. She is as smart as they come, as driven as they come, and as amazing as the come.

I think I will stop referring to my fat ass, my feeling fat, and whatever else I do to knock myself down. I think my own ego and hers will be all the better for it.

Life Changer???

Everyone has someone in their life that has made a profound impact. But, have you ever been told by someone that YOU are that person for them? It feels good, but it also comes with a little pressure to always be that influence.

What do you do in your friend's and family's lives that make you the life changing impact? Do you offer unmatched emotional support and guidance? Do you provide a lifestyle that allows for your loved ones to never worry about finances? You know what you do? Just be yourself. You be your best self, and that is the impact the people in your life need. We are all drawn to one another for a reason, yes, nothing is coincidental. Being your best self allows for your true purpose to shine through to others. Either you will inspire them, or support them, or teach them something.

Everyone in this world has something to offer. And everyone in this world has something to learn, something to gain from others. This makes our relationships symbiotic, each one gaining and giving in return. Sometimes, these relationships may feel one-sided. That just means you have to look deeper for the lesson. You have to examine the relationship closer in order to see what is not on the surface.

Even the most selfish of people teaches us something, even if it is as simple as how we do NOT want to be in our lives. Learning what not to do is as important as learning what TO do. It is just a different way of learning. Each of us impacts the universe. When you come across someone in a foul mood, do you not find yourself reacting in a foul way, at least at first? That person's negative attitude is testing you. Either you will adopt their example and feed into their negativity, or you will rise above. Either way, you have just been taught a lesson.

The person that falls prey to the negative Nelly learns that negativity is contagious and beware the attitude you spread to others. The positive Polly learns it takes effort to stay positive even in the face of adversity, and to never take a positive frame of mind for granted.

Either way, invaluable lessons have been learned.

So I ask you, how are you going to impact those around you today???

Passion

Do you have passion in your life? Do you wake up every day unable to wait to start your day? Do you love what you do with your life? Do you feel fulfilled, motivated? If not, why?

It's easy to get lost in the minutiae of life. It is easy to lose yourself in mundane, every day tasks and forget that you are a miracle. We view our children as miracles, yet as we get older we forget that we were once those children. Our parents once viewed us the miracles in their lives, and they probably still do.

Do you view yourself as a miracle in your own life? I know I don't. I have a whole complex where I put other people's needs first and then wonder why my own needs are not being met. It's something I am working on. Do you make yourself your own first priority? Odds are I would bet you view your children as your first priority. But, if something happened to you, it would hit them i the most profound way possible. So do you not at least owe it to your children, and yourself, to make YOU your top priority. You are teaching them self-esteem, self-confidence and independence. You are showing them how to treat themselves. When your children see mommy or daddy taking care of themselves first, they learn they too have to care for themselves first and foremost.

This will help your children not find themselves in abusive relationships, co-dependent relationships, or unhappy situations in general. Your children will grow up loving themselves too much to allow anyone to take advantage of them, or treat them with disdain. Your children will see their own value, early on, and be able to confidently go into the world and know exactly what they want and how to get it.

All that simply by making YOU a priority. Is that not a powerful feeling? You have the capacity to change your own life, and your children's simply by taking the best care of YOU that you can. Why oh why do we all not jump on this bandwagon?!  Because we were taught somewhere along the way that this is selfish. We were convinced that selfish behavior is ALWAYS bad. There are some positive aspects to some selfish behavior.

Being selfish is okay when it does not come at the expense of others. You can have a spa day as long as your bills are paid, and your kids are cared for first. You can go on vacation as long as the mortgage payment is on time and you have food in the fridge. Your selfish behavior has to match what your abilities are first. If you can only swing a self-manicure due to money being tight because you are a one income family, then you find the joy in that. You allow yourself the pampering and care that your life can support.

If you cannot afford to join a gym, find some stairs to run up and down, do push-ups and crunches, or jump rope. But take care of yourself! We have to balance taking care of ourselves, and making ourselves our first priority with what we can realistically afford monetarily, emotionally and mentally.

The lessons your children will learn are invaluable, and all you have to do is make yourself your first priority. It is a win-win situation.

Just Keep Swimming, You Won't Drown.....

This is a great quote. I struggle with this sometimes. When I have several things going on that preoccupy my mind it is a struggle for me to stay positive. I know I should, but it is not easy.

How do you get back to the positive place once you recognize that some of the negative fear is really taking over. Do you pray? Do you meditate? Do you exercise the negativity away? I feel like the negative thoughts are the boogie man, and once he gets you there is a struggle to get away. I know, it sounds child-like, and maybe it is.

I need to find my antidote for the negative Nellies. I need to find what works for me to snap out of the negative and just stay positive. It's hard when there are several issues at once that you just cannot seem to shake, but it is doable. I have seen many a person with a lot more than myself to be negative about be positive. Maybe I need to pray more, meditate more, exercise more.....wait, let's not get crazy now.

Today I resolve to finding my happy place, hopefully it is close and I won't need directions. Today I resolve to not let the negative issues that swim in my head take over the whole pool, so that I will not drown. Today I resolve to be in a good place. Today I will give myself a break from the tough life issues that I have no control over anyway, and let go. Today, I give my worries, my fears and my pain, both physical and emotional over to God, the universe, Mother Nature, anyone and everyone that is a higher power than myself. Today, I acknowledge that life is bigger than me, and I am but a woman on a journey.

What are you going to do with your today?

Parent Teacher Conferences

Today was parent teacher conference day for my two oldest girls. It is so nice to go into a meeting with teachers and have them rave about how great your kids are to them. My middle daughter is doing better, after a stint in the beginning of the year where she was forgetting to turn in homework.

Her teacher did a test at the beginning of the year and the results show how our children learn best. I think this test is ingenious, and should be done in classes all over. I learned that my child learns best musically. She scored 4 out of 5 for that category, and next was 3 out of 5 for logically. This means that when she can make sense out of something, put it in an order, it makes sense to her. I can see both of these. So now, since she is having some issues with remembering her times tables, we are going to hit up some old school School House Rock, and other musical avenues to help reinforce the times tables for her. I cannot wait to see how this works.

My oldest daughter proved yet again how much like her mother she really is. She is on track to be taking High School level Algebra when she hits 8th grade, just like me. Her teacher is really proud of the work she does, and the person she is. I cannot ask for any better than that.

I love parent teacher conference days because it gives a chance for my daughters' teachers to tell me what they see in my kids. I know what I see, I know what I think they are capable of, but it is nice to have that reiterated by the professionals that spend the entire day with them as well.

I love communicating with the teachers, it is always so insightful and positive. I learn something about my girls every time.

I feel it is every parent's obligation to be involved in their child's education. It is not up to the teachers to educate our children alone. We should participate in their education as much as we can, to show them how important what they do every day is to us.

Weaning Complete....

It is with both great joy and sadness that I announce my third, and final, child has been weaned. She breastfed for 25 months, longer than any of the others. Actually, she nursed longer than the other two COMBINED. She was a boobie hound, boobie-holic, whatever you want to call it. She took to nursing like a champion and never looked back. I tried to cut her back slowly, but she is just not that type of child.

It became clear to me that there would be no child-lead weaning here. If I wanted to be done, I had to call it, cut her off cold turkey and deal with the repercussions. I made the decision to do so about 3 weeks ago. It was not until about 3 days ago that she stopped asking for boobie. She has been having temper tantrums for the duration of the weaning, which I cannot completely attribute to the weaning. I mean, she did just turn two.

My boobs got engorged almost immediately, which was actually helpful when I told her they were broken. Every movement, every time she touched them, shoved her hands down my shirt, or even looked at them too hard, they hurt like CRAZY. She could tell I was in pain. I saw the empathy in my little child's eyes. She could somehow see that this was hurting me too. She stopped asking except for at bedtime. That has been a struggle, and continues to be, although she does not ask anymore. She does try to pull them out. Yes, I know it may sound creepy to some that I have to fight off a two year old. But that is because you are sexualizing the situation. Remember, we are talking about innocent breastfeeding. No nasty comments please.

So now, my little one has been weaned, and as far as I can tell I will never again nurse another baby. I am both happy to have my body back, and sad that this part of my life is over. I try to focus on the happy to have my body back part.

Letting Go....

There is a sense of relief that comes when you finally stop putting effort into something that is a black hole of emotion. You know, those people or situations that just keep taking and taking, without any giving back.

Sometimes these situations happen with a significant other, family member or a friend. Maybe you just went through a divorce and your ex is extremely bitter and vindictive. You cannot change that. You cannot him get over his anger and hurt. You cannot force him to act like a grown up, if he insists on acting like a child.

The same with family. Maybe you have a sibling that just refuses think about anyone but himself. He does not remember your birthday, call for Christmas or just to say hello. You call every week, plus on every special occasion known to man.

Either way, you are left feeling frustrated, hurt and disappointed, and why? Because you had an expectation of certain behavior from these people. When you let go of expecting certain people to behave a certain way, you will lose the hurt and frustration. But how the heck do we stop expecting things of our loved ones?!?! It is not easy, I struggle every day. But I will say this, when I can do it, when I can let go of expecting a person to behave the way I KNOW they should, I do feel better.

I believe it is all tied to ego. When someone "wrongs" us, we feel hurt, wounded and like they should have to make it right. When in reality, we only have control over how we react, and act. That is not to say let people walk all over like a doormat. Set boundaries, and enforce them. If your sibling does not call you, and that bothers you, say something. Tell him you wish he would remember your birthday. If he continues to disregard you, you have two choices either accept it and let go of your hurt, or walk away. Yes, walk away from your sibling. Not necessarily forever....but detach yourself from what is obviously an unhealthy relationship. Maybe once he realizes you are removing yourself he will stop and look at why.

As I said before, the only control we have is over our own actions. To steal a phrase from Dr. Phil, "You teach people how to treat you." If people are mistreating you, it is time to teach them a new way, a way in which you respect yourself enough to NOT put up with rotten behavior.

Let go, you cannot make people act any way but how they choose to act. Instead, lead by example.

What Lifted You Up Today??

I read an article that suggested you list three things daily that make you smile. They do not have to be big things, just the simple little things in your day that make you stop for a moment and appreciate life.

My first one was when my little Gabbi wrapped her arms around me this morning. She has not been feeling well and is even clingier to mommy lately. But she just wraps her arms around me, pats my back and melts my heart. It makes me stop, forget the sleepless night and just be.

The second moment happens five days a week. When I take my older two girls to school, we have the best time. We sing in the car, we goof on silly things we see and we play "Punch Bug, No Punch Backs." Our ride is 15 minutes, at most, but it is a really enjoyable time for me, because I feel good they are starting the day out in a happy note.

Today the third moment happened when I caught a side view glance of myself in the mirror and thought, "girl, are you losing weight?!?!" LOL! It was a welcome change from some of the usual negative feedback I give myself. So I gave myself a pat on the back for both the acknowledgement and the weight loss. Then I made baked mac-n-cheese for dinner, to really celebrate.

What are your thankful moments? Write them down, somewhere, everyday. Keep a journal, post it on Facebook, Instagram your moment. Do whatever you can to acknowledge the moment and solidify it to look back at later.

Parents Aging...

I never thought at this age I would be dealing with having two sick parents. My parents are in their late 50's and each of them has a host of medical issues. I do not have a relationship with my father, but I am besties with my mother. I am not sure which is harder to stomach. 

I have reached out several times in my life to my father. He was very absent when I was a child, and it did a great deal of damage to my psyche. Through years of counseling and self-esteem building, I was finally able to resolve a great deal of my own issues from the absence. But when I think about the potential that he could die and we do not speak, it just boggles my mind. I have to wonder, would I be welcome at his funeral? Certainly not by my grandparents, but I would by my sisters, and probably my aunt. I have a good relationship with my sisters, but not with anyone else on that side of the family. My sisters and I have hit a few bumps in the road (mostly on my behalf) but we are in a good place now. I love them dearly, and I don't think they realize how much. 

Then there is my mother. I talk to her every day, at least once. When I was a child she was...well...there is no other way to say it, she was bat-shit crazy.  I thought she was bi-polar, manic, you name it, she was it. But over the years, she has changed.....some. She is still a little crazy, but now that neither my brother or myself are in need of her care, she is only potentially harmful to herself. 

She has a host of issues that render her disabled. She is going tomorrow for a doctor appointment for yet a new crazy set of symptoms of some potentially life changing illness. If I lost her today, I would be completely and totally devastated. We have worked so hard to build our relationship into what it is today. We have both gone through some really tough introspection and work in order to be where we are today. If I lost her today, I would be heartbroken.

If I lost my father today, I would lose all hope that somehow, someway, things would change. I cannot accept the way he is now into my life. I need him to own his actions, or in-actions. I have to know that he loves and accepts me for who I am. I cannot tolerate the negative ball of emotion that he is. I just cannot. I spent too many years crying over this relationship. 

So, for two completely different reasons, the aging and degeneration of my parents is really hitting me hard right now.  

Miriam Carey

Being that I live in the Washington D.C. area, this story really scared the hell out of me when it was happening. I was sitting in carpool checking out Facebook, because what else is a bored mom to do. All of a sudden the news feeds starting updating with details about a high speed chase, and multiple gunshots around the Capitol building. I was shocked. Like many others, I immediately thought it was probably someone going off their rocker regarding the government shutdown.

Miriam Carey drove from Connecticut to D.C. with her one year old in the car, and wreaked havoc in the streets of our capitol. She used her car as a weapon, endangering herself, her child, and everyone else on the street. While I do not think she "deserved" to die, she brought this on herself.

Yes, I know she has a history of post-partum depression and was recently taken off her medication. But, there has to be some accountability here. If she was experiencing delusions, like her boyfriend said, why did no one help her? If she was actively expressing the thought that President Obama was stalking her, where was her help? How was she able to care for her child if she was that delusional?

I think the police did what they had to do. She was actively trying to ram into barricades and using her car as a weapon. It is a tragedy, yes, but the police served and protected. In the heat of the moment you react with what you know to do, what you are trained to do. The police are trained to stop that type of behavior any way possible, even if by force if no other method is working. People cannot go around trying to run people down, and ramming cars with children in them into barricades.

Her mental health is not important at that point in time. Certainly it is something that can lead to determining a motive later on, but in the heat of that moment there is no time to discern who this person is and what has led them to the dangerous behavior they are exhibiting.

So while it is tragic, I believe that the police did exactly what they had to regarding Miriam Carey.

Am I ADD?!?!

Now, before I get a host of nasty comments about the reality of ADD/ADHD and how I should not jest please do not get your panties in a wad over this.

I have been trying to keep this blog food relevant for a little bit now, and I just cannot. I know, I know, most successful blogs are focused and organized. Well, guess what, sometimes I am just all over the place. Sometimes I want to discuss potty training, and then jump to pre-teen issues. Sometimes I will talk about healthy vegetarian cooking, and follow it up with a recipe for something with chocolate, in chocolate, about chocolate....mmmmm....did someone say chocolate?!?!

The fact of the matter is this, I am who I am, and while I am a great Mom....well let's just put a period on the end of that sentence. I am a great Mom.

I have an active lifestyle which involves many facets and layers, like Shrek, I am an onion....only less green and not stinky.

So please have some patience with me while I adjust my subject matter yet again.  I do promise to keep up the recipe/food porn posting...OMG, a parenting blog with the word porn...someone stop this crazy woman.

So stay tuned. As I promised in the very, very beginning, this will be a roller coaster ride, so put your hair up in a pony tail, hike up your yoga pants, and get ready!

Cooking Should NOT Be a Household Chore

Cooking is a huge aspect of our lives in this house. My husband loves to cook, I love to cook, and my oldest daughter loves to cook. The middle daughter makes a great sous chef, and the little one is constantly in the mix. We enjoy cooking, so we put love and attention into our cooking and it shows.

Not to sound like I am bragging, but it is possible for anyone to be a great cook. Now, I am not going to be giving Chef Ramsey a run for his money any time soon, but knowing some basic cooking techniques can make for a great repertoire in the kitchen.

Also, when kids participate in the cooking of a meal, they are more apt to give new foods a try. The rule in my house is that you have to give any new food a good try, a bite or two. If you legitimately do not like it, you do not have to eat it. Now, it may come back in a few months, and you should try it then too, but if you still don't like it, I don't push it after that. I just make sure to have enough other options to replace it. Not, cooking two dinners, but other side item options that I KNOW the child likes....or sometimes the adult.

When cooking is done as a family activity it leads to communication of daily activities, fun stories, sharing, and caring. It really bonds a family very closely. It gives us a chance to really come together for the goal of continuing our family communication at the dinner table.

So whether or not you think you are a great cook, or you loathe the idea, give family meal prep a shot. Give everyone a job to do, and let the good times roll!!!

Take a Page from Popeye's Book....

I'm strong to the finach, cause I eats me spinach....lol....having flashbacks yet?  If you have been following my food porn lately, then you will have noticed that I have posted a great deal of meals that contain spinach. It may not be the favorite vegetable of everyone, but I am here to tell everyone why spinach should be incorporated into everyone's diet.

Spinach, according to WebMD, is loaded with vitamins, minerals, antioxidants, and fiber. It ranks third in nutritional value, behind kale and garlic. Spinach has been shown to fight against osteoporosis, cancer, heart disease, and arthritis. It is an incredible food that can be eaten steamed, sauteed, fresh, frozen, or a host of other ways.

The World's Healthiest Foods, lists spinach as high in Vitamins K, A, C, B2, calcium, folate, manganese, and iron.

If you are a picky eater, or your child is a picky eater, spinach can be hidden very easily in things like smoothies. This way, the benefits are there, but the stigma of spinach is hidden.

Spinach is also very easy to flavor and cook. Baby spinach, with just a touch of olive oil, sea salt and pepper, has a sweetness to it, that makes it much more palatable than plain spinach. Also, mixing it in with tomato based sauces, hides any bitterness.

The fact is, spinach is really healthy, and an important part in any healthy eater's diet.

Scrambled Eggs and Scone

This was my breakfast this morning. I found some organic cranberry, orange, raisin scones, at the local grocery store.

I scrambled up a couple eggs, heated the scone and brushed it with a little butter over top.

This was delicious, and really, I was satisfied for quite some time.

I know a lot of people are low-carb nowadays, but I am still breastfeeding, and I get seriously hungry. So I eat carbs, but I try and eat healthier ones.

This was quick, easy, and totally delicious!!!

MANGIA MANGIA!!!

Going Green

Today's dinner was a quick throw together. I boiled some gluten-free spinach angel hair pasta. Then, I sauteed one zuccini with olive oil and added one cup of fresh baby spinach. sprinkle with some sea salt, pepper, and a little sprinkle of parmesan, and MANGIA MANGIA!!!

When I sat down to eat, I had to laugh, because I thought, "Hmmm, is it St. Patrick's Day?!?!"  This was a really great meal, had a little sweetness to it, because of the zucchini.  This is a great way to get some really important vitamins from the spinach and zucchini.

Fried Egg Sammy with Veggies

This sammy was so delicious, my hubby asked me to make him one after he took a bite of mine. I am all about a good egg sammy...as we call it in our house. Being vegetarian, we have to look for protein sources in places other than meat. So eggs, and green leafy veggies are a great option. 

This sandwich has the fried egg, which I like crispy on the edges, whole wheat toast, 1/4 cup baby spinach, 1/2 slice pepper jack cheese, 2 tablespoons of the leftover Banh Mi veggies, 2 tablespoons banana peppers. 

I could go for one right now...LOL! 

I recommend using sandwiches as a way to work in extra vegetables whenever possible. A handful of spinach adds flavor, crunch, and tons of vitamins.  

Stuffed Tomato

Another successful dinner creation tonight. I made stuffed tomatoes! I cut the top off the tomatoes, cleaned out the insides and stuffed them with a rice and veggie mixture I will post below. Then I broiled the tomatoes for 15 minutes, and MMMMMMMM.....Sprinkle with fresh herbs, like basil, and cilantro. The stuffing for the tomatoes is:

one zuccini
one Italian pepper
one yellow onion
6 radishes
1 cup mushrooms
2 cloves garlic
1 sprig fresh thyme
1 sprig fresh rosemary
salt and pepper to taste
1 teaspoon coriander

These were all chopped, and sauteed in 1 tablespoon olive oil.

Then, I mixed the veggies in with 1 1/2 cup steamed rice, and stuffed the mixture in the tomatoes. I placed the tops back on the tomatoes, and then broiled. I served the tomato on a small bed of the mixture, and sprinkled basil and cilantro on top. The result is pictured below.....mmmmmmmmmm.....

Got Kiwi?

 Kiwi are a great little fruit. They are sweet, delicious, and packed full of Vitamin C. One kiwi has more vitamin C than the same amount of orange!

With their vibrant color and sweet, juicy taste, kiwis are a kid favorite! I packed 1 1/2 kiwis each for my kids this morning in their lunches.

Along with vitamin C, kiwi has fiber and potassium benefits as well.

For more on the kiwi, check out this site,

World's Healthiest Foods

A kiwi a day can keep the doctor away!

Banh Mi with Eggplant Chips

Feast your eyes on this deliciousness in a dish! Tonight's dinner was Vietnamese Banh Mi with a side of eggplant chips. 

The recipe I followed was supposed to make one sandwich. I doubled everything except the pickling solution because I did not want to over power the kids with the pickling. I also made the addition of the cheese myself. The original recipe called for jalepenos, but again, I have kids eating this and did not want to over power them with hotness. 

The eggplant chips are just thin slices of eggplant fried in a little olive oil and sprinkled with sea salt. 

The recipe for the Banh Mi, is as follows:

1/2 cup rice vinegar                                            1/4 cup white onion thinly sliced
1/4 cup water                                                     garlic salt to taste
1/4 cup water                                                     ground black pepper to taste
1/4 cup white sugar                                            1 baguette roll
1/4 cup carrot cut into matchsticks                      1 Tablespoon mayonaise
1/4 cup white radishes matchsticks                      1 Tablespoon cilantro                
1/4 cup cucumber matchsticks                             1 lime wedge

1. Place rice vinegar, water, and sugar into a saucepan over medium heat, bring to a boil, and stir until the sugar has dissolved, about 1 minute. Allow the mixture to cool.
2. Pour the cooled vinegar mixture over the carrot, radish, and onion in a bowl, and allow to stand for at least 30 minutes. Drain off the excess vinegar mixture after the vegetables have marinated.
3. Slice the baguette in half the long way, and pull the center of the bread out of the baguette halves, leaving a cavity for the filling. Place the baguette halves under the broiler to lightly toast, 2 to 3 minutes.
4. To assemble the bahn mi sandwich, spread each half of the toasted baguette with mayonnaise and cheese slice, and fill the cavity of the bottom half of the bread with cucumber slices, pickled carrot, onion, and radish, cilantro leaves. Squeeze a wedge of lime over the filling, and top with the other half of the baguette.

Egg Sandwich with Spinach, Sun-Dried Tomato

Today's lunch is a scrambled egg sandwich with baby spinach, and sun-dried tomato. I also put one-half a slice of monterey jack cheese, for a little jalepeno kick. On whole wheat bread, it was a great lunch!

Ingredients List:

2 slices whole wheat toast
2 eggs, scrambled
one-half slice pepper jack
one-half cup baby spinach
one tablespoon sun-dried tomato

Cantaloupe with Greek Yogurt and Granola

This was my breakfast this morning. It was delicious!!

I took one-half of a cantaloupe, scooped out the seeds and discarded them.

Then I put plain, greek yogurt in the middle, and sprinkled organic apple blueberry granola over top.

This was absolutely delicious. I also thought of putting honey instead of the granola. Either way, I think it would be delicious.

I love fruit that doubles as a dish. LOL!!

MANGIA MANGIA!!!

Leftovers for Lunch!

I'm Italian, so we always cook too much for the amount of people we are serving. Thankfully, with this group leftovers are always a hit. Today's lunch consists of leftover Organic Veggie Pasta, cut up cantaloupe, and an organic granola bar. The kids are always excited when they see the thermoses come out because they know it means leftovers.

I divided half the melon between the two kids, and will be making a great snack, or breakfast, with the other half of the melon....so stay tuned!!

MANGIA MANGIA!

Veggie Fajitas

Tonight I made veggie fajitas for dinner. They were delicious! I also picked up a Food Network Magazine today which had some great looking stuff, so we may be gettin' fancy here!  Here is the recipe I went with today:

Tortilla (warmed)
1 teaspoon olive oil
1 red bell pepper (julienned)
1 green bell pepper (julienned)
1 yellow onion (sliced)
1 cup of broccoli florets (chopped)
1 tablespoon worcestershire
1 avocado
sprinkle of sun dried tomato
sprinkle of cheese


Warm the olive oil in a chef's pan. Add in onion and saute until tender. Add in the peppers, broccoli, and worcestershire sauce. Saute for ten minutes. Place desired avocado, cooked veggies, sun dried tomato, and cheese atop the tortilla. ENJOY!

This is simple enough that my 11 year old could make it on her own....but then again, she wants to be a chef.

I also thought of adding baby spinach, but I already had a lot going on, so we will eat that tomorrow.

Replace Potato Chips with Pita Chips

My kids can put a hurtin' on a bag of chips. We have found some good organic brands that we love. Organic chips can get pretty expensive though. So we take pita, brush a little butter on both sides and sprinkle a little zaatar, and bake in the oven at 350 for about 12 minutes or until they are your desired crispness.

We serve this with organic hummus, and the kids devour it! It is a much healthier snack than chips and dip, without losing the crunch or the creamy dip. We also love serving raw veggies with hummus.

Pasta With Veggies

Tonight's dinner was a smashing success, thank you, thank you, no applause. I jest! For those of you who do not know, my older girls came to me about three weeks ago professing their desire to become vegetarian. So, like any devoted mommy, I said, "Sure, and I will be one too!" So for the last three weeks we have been eating vegetarian.

Before anyone scoffs and scolds me about protein needs and iron deficiency, let me just say, we eat a lot of beans and a lot of spinach and broccoli in our house. I feel confident between those, and the other veggies and proteins that we are all getting enough. Not to mention, if the girls came to me tomorrow and professed their desire to return to our previous diet, which was mostly chicken, I would oblige. This is their choice for themselves.

Anywho, I digress from tonight's scrumptious meal. Here is the recipe:


Organic Veggie Pasta

1 pound of your favorite pasta, we used Rotini
1 green bell pepper (chopped)
1 red bell pepper (chopped)
1 yellow onion (diced)
2 large garlic cloves (minced)
2 tablespoons olive oil
1 tablespoon fresh cilantro (chopped)
1 cup baby bella mushrooms (sliced)
2 cups fresh baby spinach (chopped)
1 can chopped tomato

Boil your pasta to al dente and set it aside.

Heat the oil on medium heat in a chef's pan (a deep saute pan). Add the garlic and onion and cook until the onion is soft and translucent. Add in the can of tomato, and let the liquid cook out for 5 to 10 minutes. Then add in the red and green bell peppers, and mushrooms. Cook until the mushrooms start to soften. Next, add in the cilantro. Let that cook for about 5 minutes. Add in the spinach, and turn off the heat. Cover the dish and let the spinach cook in the mix for 5 minutes.

Serve and enjoy!!!

I topped mine with a couple kalamata olives and a sprinkle of parmesan cheese. All three children had second helpings, even my toddler!

Some Easy Drink Recipes for Kids

Happy Labor Day everyone! Whether you are grilling, or just chillin', I have some great drink options for the kiddos today. Don't get me wrong, the adults can enjoy too! I have a recipe for a blueberry smoothie, that has blueberries, bananas and yogurt. Also in the article are recipes for a tropical smoothie, a cran-orange chiller, and a strawberry smoothie.




There are many ways in which to enjoy being healthy, and making a round of delicious, fruity drinks for the family can be one. Berries are full of antioxidants, so add as much as your taste buds like! Bananas are high in potassium, and low-fat yogurt is a great source of protein. Make them all organic and you up the health ante even more.

Come back soon, when I post some great high protein, toddler friendly smoothie recipes....including one for avocado melon....avocados are a super food, and are amazingly healthy!

Enjoy, and HAPPY LABOR DAY!!

Chunky Guacamole

Today I made a really tasty, flavorful guacamole. It consisted of:

1 avocado
1 medium tomato (chopped)
1 tablespoon cilantro (chopped)                                  
1 tablespoon lime juice

First I chopped the tomato, and roughly chopped the avocado after I peeled it. I put both in a bowl and put the lime juice over it. Then I just spooned in the cilantro, mixed, and served.

I put my portion atop my veggie burger, which was FANTASTIC! My middle daughter did the same. My oldest daughter put her portion on top of the rice she was eating, and hubby just ate his straight off the fork.

Everyone loved the guacamole, and it was incredibly nutritious, and healthy. No added oil, mayo or anything like that. It really was fantastic.

Nutrition Basics for Kids

Here is the link to an article I wrote on Nutrition Basics for Kids. Please read and feel free to share your opinions and experiences.

Nutrition Basics for Kids

I will be leaning more towards this type of blog, nutrition, recipes, suggestions, news and information.

Some direction

I have been doing a little research about blogging and how to really make a go of it, professionally. One suggestion that I came across was to specialize and tailor the blog to a specific parenting issue, so as to become somewhat of a subject matter expert.

If I had to tailor my blog to one thing, I think at this point I would pick nutrition, and healthy eating. I am thinking of taking this blog in a more concentrated direction....with some track derailment here and there...

I would love to know how you all would feel about this. I would be including article, written by others, and myself. I would start posting research, pointers, real advice on how to get kids to eat healthier, and tips and tricks I use myself.

The biggest aspect is that I may have to look at changing blogging locations. Not sure yet. I am still doing the research on that.

For now, I would love to know how receptive everyone would be to a blog that focused on the health, and nutrition aspect of parenting.

Positive Parenting

I have written a couple articles lately on positive parenting and being a positive role model to a child. I love these articles because in writing them it reminds me to be wary of the same things in my own parenting. Sometimes we can fall victim to our own laziness as parents, and begin to take for granted a child's good behavior. It is important for them, and for us, to keep the eye on the prize. It is vital for kids to hear positive reinforcement when they do something good.

In order to be a good role model to a child, one first has to lead by example. If a child sees an adult who is consistently being negative, talking about people behind their backs, and generally being a negative person, they are not going to turn around and listen to that person tell them to look at the glass half full. If it is not something an adult is willing to do themselves, then a child is not going to do it.

If we are trying to instill good habits in our children, we must exemplify good habits for them. Eating healthy, exercising, taking time for ourselves is leading by example for our children. When they see us take care of our bodies, and make ourselves a priority, it gives them the message that they too must take care of themselves. By showing children that we care enough to treat our bodies with care, we teach them the same about their own bodies.

Taking an active role in a child's education is also a must for good role models. We cannot just sit back and lecture about doing homework, and studying for tests. We parents have to go to whatever meetings we have the ability to attend, and have an open line of communication with teachers. A child needs to be encouraged to participate in extracurricular activities, which parents should be involved in as well. In essence, parents should be devoted to supporting their children 100% of the time.

Being a parent is no easy gig. It takes, hard work, dedication, blood, sweat, and tears. It is our obligation to do our very best for our kids. They did not ask to be brought into this world, and so, we owe it to them to raise them with good moral values, a nurturing home, and an uplifting spirit. We owe it to them to give them the best start possible, because how awful would it be to watch them spending an adulthood trying to fix what we broke.

Peek-A-Boo....I See You....

Sorry for the leave of absence, I have meandered into a new endeavor and need to adjust my time management skills yet again. I have started writing for Demand Media, freelance articles on parenting. I have been focused over there for a month or so now, and just have not been able to find the time to write there, and still keep up with the blog. I will do better, I promise.

I have begun to wonder how these professional, earn a full time income, work at home moms do it. I have a toddler at home, and two school age kids, and finding the time to write in one place is hard enough, let alone what some of these moms are able to juggle. My hat's off to them, because they must have the write stuff....lol.  Okay, okay, I know, lame joke.

I have found in writing parenting articles, I am learning as much as I am writing. I have done several articles on teenagers, and many on autism. I can safely say I do not know how parents of autistic children do all they do....and I have no desire to rush to the teenage years with my girls...yikes.

I am loving being able to write though, it feels good to use my brain, which was beginning to feel like a huge ball of mush. I do need to work on time management skills though. Although, I think toddlers are the kryptonite to time management.

I will do my best to remain dedicated to my blog. for those of you who are devoted readers, and will even try to share my articles with you all as well. Maybe some day I can get around to writing that book that everyone keeps telling me to write, because I have so much extra time on my hands...

Disorganized Chaos...

So I blogged about this topic yesterday, but I am going to hit it again today also because I think it is important to discuss this aspect of child development.  Yesterday's blog titled, "I Am Raising A Hoarder..." was about my 8 year old daughter.  She is the sweetest, most loving child, and she is a pack rat.  She is beginning to forget to turn in assignments, forget to turn in folders, and instead of cleaning her room is trying to get away with shoving things in her closet.  She claims forgetfulness every single time, but I know that it is more than forgetting, it is being disorganized. 

I know some of you are wondering what exactly I think is the big trauma here, she is 8 years old and most of them are irresponsible.  My problem is that it is effecting her school work, and she is becoming increasingly disorganized.  I read an article today about disorganized children.  I felt better after reading it because honestly, it feels good to know I am not alone by far. 

Some of the tools the article outlines are really key in most kids' lives.  Teaching kids how to prioritize, how to organize, and realize that these tools are not always innate behaviors that everyone has in themselves.  It is important to guide children through the process of not only learning these tools, but also in incorporating them into their daily routines to make sure that they stick. 

Basic Guidelines

Some simple, basic steps in beginning to organize our children is to make sure they have a daily routine.  The more routine their day is the less stress is created in the unknown.  My kids come home every day and have a snack and do homework immediately.  They know this, there is no question, it is just our routine.  So I make sure that every day we follow this simple routine.  At 7 P.M. we go upstairs every day so that the older two girls can shower and I can bathe the baby.  Whatever time is left between then and 8 P.M. on school nights is their television time.  This is our routine, and most people that have ever even been to our house can tell you it runs like clock work.

With my middle daughter I will need to add a couple new steps to our routine.  For instance, along with homework, I am going to need to add cleaning out her back pack.  I looked in it yesterday, and I think Jimmy Hoffa is buried in there.  This is a simple task that can be easily added into our routine, but it is going to take my commitment to helping her establish it in her routine.

Another basic guideline in organizing a disorganized child is talking to them about their daily grind on the job, aka school.  Just asking if their homework has been finished is not good enough.  There needs to be a meeting of the minds, and a sharing of the calendars on a regular basis.  This way, parents know when book reports are due, exams are scheduled, and what is going on in the child's week and can help regulate stress.  The more a child is prepared, the less disorganized and chaotic they will be.  This only leads to healthier study habits, and better organization. 

For my peanut, she has a daily planner that her assignments are listed in and we go through it regularly.  We will begin to go through it even more, and plan ahead the time that she will be working on things like projects and reports.  That way, I can keep an eye on what she has due when, when she should be done with a project, and she can have work done without that last minute procrastination push.

Outlining Expectations

It is important that parents have realistic expectations of their children.  Otherwise, they will feel like they can never meet what their parents want of them which can lead to real emotional issues down the line.  We have to remember that they are kids, and they should act like them.  We are to guide and teach them, not brow beat and criticize them.  I found a great site that that outlines stages in child development.  The site first breaks down child development by age groups, and then further breaks down what the expectations can be for each age group socially, educationally, and emotionally. 

This is a great tool for parents to refer to when dealing with a new stage with all of their children.  I have never had this issue with my oldest daughter, so this is new territory for me, even though I have three kids.  There is never a dull moment with kids, and just when you think you have it figured out they will throw you a curve ball. 

Once the age appropriate expectations are identified by the adults, and expressed to the children, then it is time to make sure actions are put into place.  Follow through means everything.  Without consistency, there is no change in a child's life.  They need repetition, routine, and reward.  With the repetition and the routine will come the reward. 

My daughter is going to finish this school year strongly, we made a pact on that one.  We have agreed to implement some new expectations into our routine, and we will soon reap the rewards.  She is going to learn that being organized and on task has its own benefits beyond making everyone happy.  She is going to see that hard work does feel good, and that Jimmy Hoffa is too heavy to be lugging around in that back pack of hers.  Onward and upward. 

I Am Raising A Hoarder....

I am at my wits ends.  I have lectured, yelled, taken away things, etc.  I feel like there is something about my 8 year old that makes her inherently a hoarder.  She has a problem parting with anything, even pieces of paper.  I have never seen anything like this.  I have no explanation, no reason, no logic.  She seems almost emotionally attached to everything she owns. 

Today she was cleaning her room and asked me what to do with a large shoe box that she had decorated for her class Valentine's Day party.  VALENTINE'S DAY?!?!  I asked her if there was anything still in the box and she told me that there were the cards from her classmates.  I felt bad afterwards, but I just looked at her and said, "You have to throw this stuff away! You will get more cards from the same kids next year, THROW THEM AWAY." 

I was busy nursing the baby, so I asked the oldest sister, who is 10 to check on the room after she claimed to be finished cleaning.  Well, of course the warden found plenty wrong with it, but she was right!  There were wadded up tissues in an empty tissue box, pony tail holders randomly about, and just stuff. 

I immediately went looking to see if Hoarders was on television right that moment, sadly it was not.  I have it set to DVR now, because I explained to her that is where she is headed if she does not get this under control.  I guess I am hoping to scare her straight?!?!  I want her to see what an unhealthy obsession with stuff looks like.  I want her to see what happens when people cannot let go of things. I am not saying she WILL be a hoarder, but hey, it has to start somewhere. 

I do not know any other way to get through to her.  I asked my mother, that is how desperate I was.  She informs me that she herself was the same way as a child.  She said she eventually just grew out of it...ugh.  Okay, so I have some hope, a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.  I mean my mom is a clean freak, so really, this does give me some solace. 

I am still going to give her a taste of Hoarders...scare her little butt straight. 

A Delicate Balance....

I fully believe that this picture captures how most parents feel at any given moment of any given day.  Life can sometimes feel like this delicate balancing act, in which you are completely blindfolded. 

Juggling kids, work, home, marriage, health, play, etc., can be exhausting and we have not even finished the day yet.  I think it is important for people to realize that there are only so many hours in one day, and only so much that can be accomplished in that day.

I know many people that have a hard time asking for help, and yes, I am one of them.  It has always been a struggle for me to ask others for help in any way.  I always felt like I could just handle it, whatever "it" was.  Like the woman in this picture I felt as though I could just toss another ball in the juggle and keep on ballet dancing on down the tightrope.  Sometimes, we have those days where we can handle it all.  I have had days where I got multiple loads of laundry done, an almost gourmet dinner prepared, worked out, scrubbed half the house, and still managed to shower and look hot before hubby got home.  Then I have had those days where I wonder if I will manage to get out of my yoga pants before I have to pick up the kids from school, and better yet, wonder how much I care. 

Life ebbs and flows, and so do our bodies and our energies.  We have to learn to seize the moments when they hit, and not beat ourselves up when they leave.  Today has been one of those challenging days when I set out with my sights to conquer the world and now the day is almost gone and I feel like I hit about half the things on my list.  I sit in my bed with my laptop, and my sleeping toddler next to me, wondering if it is worth it to try and stay up long enough to do one more load of laundry.  I am already planning what I have to get started when I get up tomorrow at 5 A.M.  I have my mental list growing in my head. 

But will this keep me up tonight?  No, not at all.  I know that today I did my best with what I have.  I have a teething toddler, two school age kids, a husband who was home not feeling well, and myself having been up a great deal last night.  I walked the tightrope and juggled as much as I could today while ballet dancing blindfolded across the circus ring, and I am okay with that.  I will do it all again tomorrow, and dance blindfolded, juggling, and be okay with that load too. 

Do Co-Sleeping Babies Lead To Independent Children???

I read an article the other day that left me going, "Hmmmm????"  It was geared towards how our American society views certain child rearing techniques somewhat in a backwards way.  Co-sleeping was one of the topics that was touched on in the article. 

I have three children and I have never co-slept, before now.  My third child, who is now 19 months sleeps half the night in her bed, and half in our bed....okay, sometimes more than half.  I have always felt somewhat guilty about this, like I was not teaching her independence.  Now after reading this article, and examining my child, I have to wonder if I have in fact been teaching her more independence than she would have if she did not co-sleep.  Hmmmm...

First and foremost, here is the article titled, "Have American Parents Got It All Backwards?"  It sites the Japanese culture and their beliefs on co-sleeping.  The Japanese are very supportive of co-sleeping and the notion that it fosters independence by feeding the need for nurturing and closeness at night.  Children automatically feel loved, nurtured, and bonded through co-sleeping, and therefor will act more independently during the day, because that basic need is met.  When they are ready, they will gravitate to their own bed.  Hmmmmm...

I have to say, I feel like this article is certainly valid, and not because I am looking for an excuse to keep my toddler in me bed...well not solely because of that.  I feel like I am benefitting sometimes by having her there also.  I feel like we are exchanging some sort of great energy, bonding, recharging together.  It is hard to put into words. 

So for the time being, I plan on keeping her close, still encouraging her to sleep in her bed when she is okay with that, and letting her come snuggle up with Mommy and Papi when she needs that closeness and comfort.  I will listen to her cues, not society's, when it comes to what is best going to meet her needs. 

I would love to hear co-sleeping stories, or independent sleeper stories.  I am always open to hearing what everyone else's experiences have been. 

Coffee, Old School Style.

So it is no secret that I am a coffee fanatic.  I love my coffee, not just for the boost, but the taste itself, and the smell is one of the best in the whole world.  The other day my coffee world almost came tumbling down, down, down.

The coffee maker has been acting up.  I am still in the age of the regular ole coffee maker, no Keurig craze here.  I drink Bustelo every morning, which is a great Spanish coffee.  It is strong, bold, and full of flavor, and so am I. Anywho, the coffee maker was brewing half the coffee for the water I put in the machine.  I put in 8 cups of water, and it would brew 4 cups of coffee.  While I enjoy my coffee strong, that is a bit ridiculous, even for me.  So for a day or two I just added extra water into the pot itself so that it would equal out as it brewed. 

Yesterday I took the whole machine apart, cleaned it, and found what I thought was the problem.  I found a small piece of broken off coffee filter in the water uptake compartment, and I surmised that this was blocking the flow, and meanwhile the heat was evaporating about half the water in the process.  So, I put it back together, and somewhere along the way I broke a piece.  Not just a piece, but a critical component.  I was mortified.  It was late, so I did not want to run out and buy another machine then, so I decided this morning to make coffee old school, because that is how I roll. 

I present this picture to you.  I put a filter into a strainer, boiled water, and then slowly poured it through the strainer/filter.  I then repeated the process so that the coffee would be a little stronger.  It was great!  But I had to laugh because the site of this reminded me of something I would be watching Wilma Flintstone do.  In this age of push button living, here I am standing over a make shift coffee machine, getting antsy when it takes 20 minutes to prepare my coffee at 5am. 

I savored every last drop....

Mother's Day

Tis the season to celebrate our Mothers!!  So far I know one of my daughters is planning on making breakfast, and another is writing me a song.  The third is 19 months old so I am hoping that she sleeps through the night, that might be the best present ever. 

Mother's Day is a celebratory day that has been around for quite some time.  Many countries around the world celebrate Mother's Day.  Some celebrate International Women's Day instead, due to the commercial nature of Mother's Day. 

In the United States, our modern Mother's Day was first founded in 1914 by Anna Jarvis.  She held a memorial for her own mother in 1908, and led the campaign to create the holiday on our calendar.  By the time 1920 rolled around she was already disappointed in the commercialism of the holiday. 

Around the world different countries celebrate Mother's Day in many ways.  some countries use religious dates of significance as Mother's Day.  Other countries use dates of significance to women to celebrate moms, or women in general.  In Roman Catholic countries the celebration is centered around The Virgin Mary, the mother of all mothers. 

Some countries, like Germany and France, adopted a Mother's Day traditional celebration during times of greatly declining birth rates.  This was in an effort to celebrate the meaning of motherhood and show a support for women to create families and raise children.  They felt that by lifting mothers up, and showing support for them it would encourage more women to want to become mothers themselves.  The birth rate did come up, but it remains to be proven whether or not the creation of Mother's Day had any impact on that. 

In India, mothers are revered greatly by their children.  Mother's Day for them is a day to thank their mothers quietly for their love and devotion.  It is common in India for the cultural centers to have events to celebrate mothers, but their celebration is not religious in nature.  It is a time to honor moms through praise and cultural arts. 

The greatest irony of Mother's Day here in the United States is the fact that the woman who started it all, Anna Jarvis, was ultimately arrested for protesting the holiday.  She became so enraged at the commercialization by the card companies and florists that she literally protested the whole holiday and showed regret for ever having supported the notion in the first place. 

Mother's Day does not have to be filled with expensive gifts and flowers.  As a mom to three girls, when my oldest two ask what I want for mother's day, I answer to them the same thing every year, "I do not need presents, your love, and appreciation are more than enough."  This is true.  The fact that one is making me breakfast, and the other is writing me a song, makes my heart just melt.  They are putting so much thought and attention into their gifts.  They have been planning for WEEKS!!  It is just the sweetest, cutest thing ever.  They started giving me my gifts the moment they started talking about them, because they have not stopped.  It means so much to me to be so important in their minds. 

I wish you all a Happy Mother's Day.  This year, sit down and write your Mom a handwritten letter expressing your love and devotion.  We have the power to take the commercialism out of this and every holiday, we just have to make it a priority.  We have to take the commercialism out of our society first and foremost. 

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!!!!

That PITA In Aisle 3....

BAHAHAHAHA!!!!  How many times have you thought this??  You know you have, whether you were at the grocery store, the doctor's office, the park, where ever. 

We have all seen the kids who overrun their parents, the kids who are way too sugared up, way too out of control, and way too whiny.  We have all seen them, but here is a question, what do you do when you see it?  Have any of you ever actually said something to the parents? I know I have not.  I have however said something to my own children the nanosecond we got into the car.  I think every moment has a lesson to glean and this is no exception.

I have literally gotten my kids into the car only to turn around and say, "Did you notice that boy that was screaming at his mother in the candy aisle?  Let me just say, that behavior is completely unacceptable in our lives, and I will not ever tolerate that the way she did."  Usually my kids are as put off as I am at the defiant, obnoxious sorts, thank goodness. 

We all have our ups and downs.  We all have good days and bad days with our children.  I would like to think that little Johnny throwing a tantrum over candy is just having a bad moment, but I am more inclined to believe that little Johnny behaves like this regularly, because it gets him exactly what he wants.  He is engaged in guerilla warfare with his parents, and he is winning.  They are overworked, under paid, and over tired.  They have given in, and Johnny knows it.

Talking About The Big D....And No I Don't Mean Dallas....

Today I had a conversation unlike any I have had in the past with my older two daughters concerning the divorce between myself and their father.  It came about completely benignly and I was totally caught off guard when I could see where our chat was going.  But I treaded lightly, did not need a stick, and I think I just had a really deep chat with my little ladies.

It all started when my oldest daughter began talking about a boy in her class who has been using a good deal of profanity this school year.  She said she was thinking about why he was doing this all of a sudden this year when in the years past he had not been one to use language like this.  We are talking dropping the F bomb here, and while many of you may think that I need to get out of my vanilla world and come to grips with 10-11 year olds using that language, I have my hopes for our youth.  I still hold true that if I am paying for private school tuition I should be able to expect certain behaviors to be off limits, but that is a whole other post.

Anyway, so my daughter tells me that this boy's parents got divorced last year, and ever since then he has been using foul language and had a bad attitude.  So she understood why he may be feeling a little angry.  Hmmm, this was food for thought.  This was a hard pill to swallow also.  Then, she made me feel better.  She goes on to say that while she understood his feelings it was no reason for him to act out and be rude to other people.  She said that even though her father and I are divorced she does not, and would not act out and be rude to other people because of that.  She said that if he has anger towards his parents for getting divorced then he should talk to them about that.  Out of the mouths of babes.  I wanted to cry.  Instead, I asked her the question that lead us down the next conversation, "How do you feel about Daddy and I getting divorced?  Do you feel angry?" 

Now I know that my daughters are among some of the most well adjusted children of divorce on the planet.  Others have confirmed to me how amazing these two girls have handled the situation, and it is because they have had a village to help them handle the situation.  We may not have done every thing right, but we loved those girls through everything and they know that they have nothing to do with our divorce.  That being said, I was very anxious to hear the answer to my question.  Is my child angry that her parents are divorced?

She ponders for a few minutes and then says, "I am not angry, but sometimes it does frustrate me, and it makes things more difficult sometimes."  I gave this some thought and realized, if that is the worst thing she has to say about the situation then she must be pretty okay.  She complained about the traffic driving down to where her Dad lives, which is certainly worth complaining about in this area.  She complained about the amount of weekend time she does not get with me, which I understand as well.  Mostly she complained about this because she wants more friend time.  I get that.  But she understands why we are not together, she sees we are better apart, and most importantly, she really truly understands that our divorce had nothing to do with her and her sister. 

We then went on to have a conversation about my relationship with my parents, which again is a whole other blog post, and talk more about divorce in general.  Both girls expressed displeasure with not being able to have both parents participate in things together, which I respect and understand.  I would love for that to be different, but my desire alone to have cohesion even in the face of divorce is not enough.  I can try to piece Humpty Dumpty back together, but if he won't cooperate nothing I do is going to stick. 

It is hard to be divorced, and even harder when it involves children.  I am so happy to be so connected to my kids.  They are my heart, my world.  I am so happy they do not burden their hearts with blame for their parents not being together.  I am so happy that they know they are loved by both their parents, their step-parents, and everyone in their family.  I am so happy that this occurrence has not stumped their emotional growth, and mostly I am happy that they know they can confide in me, and talk to me about their feelings.  I love my girls more than anything in the world, and I would lasso the moon for them if I could. 

The Joy of Having A Toddler...

 

There are many things I love about my toddler.  She is sweet, smart, fun, and just a general joy to be around.  That being said, there is one way in which she drives me absolutely bat sh*t crazy. 

When I am working feverishly to clean the house, she is working just as feverishly to unclean the house.  I try and get her involved, to get her to "help" me.  This is almost as bad as just letting her go buck wild in the background. 

What I do now is get her interested in a couple different activities in one central location.  Then, I hurry to get as much done as I can in that area without distracting her attention from whatever has her captivated.  Once she loses that desire to stay where she is playing nicely, my time is up and it is time to wrap it up, immediately.

Some people just say screw it, and let it all hang out until the kid goes to bed and then they do the 15 minute round up and shove everything in its place as quickly as they can.  Others, like me, go through the daily grind of trying to maintain a level of "company ready" at all times.  There is no wrong or right method, just a matter of what you are comfortable doing.

I have been in people's homes that looked like a tornado went through.  When I walked in they politely said, "You will have to excuse the mess, I just wait until bedtime and we clean it all up then."  No big, I mean as long as it is not my house, I do not get hung up on that.  Now, I have also been to a couple homes in which there was food lingering under the table from breakfast, which was hours since over.  I have seen a few milk ring stained tables, and a stray sippy cup or two.  I know for a fact that the moms in those households were very overwhelmed, because they told me so.  Thankfully it was soon after our visit that they were able to get a helping hand in there to get them back to the level that they were comfortable. 

It is important to be okay in your own home, whether you have kids or not.  I have a 19 month old who is a busy little bee, and who is very clingy to mommy.  So things are not as clean as I would like, but I have to say I feel like I do a pretty good job.  At any moment someone could come into my home and I would feel fine welcoming them in and feel relaxed sitting down with them for a visit.  I would not feel like I had to explain away a mess, or be shoving things in the closet before I opened the front door.

I think the key to this is keeping as minimal amount of items out and about as possible.  The more knick knacks the more dust, the more clutter, the more ojeda (pronounced ah-je-da).  You know it, you have had it at some point if you are a parent. I think there can be a balance kept that does not keep parent away from child too much, but still allows the house to be kept tidy and in order.  I also love organizational aids, but be careful because too many of these are just more clutter.

We also have areas that are toy friendly and areas that are not.  My 19 month old also knows that before we leave her area, which is the living room, she must put her toys back in her toy box.  She does it religiously now.  It just took some practice and patience, and lots of clapping.  But she knows that it is part of the routine.  If she is ready for bath or bed, she will start cleaning up, and you can hear her saying, "Mess, clean up mess. Okay, yes, clean mess."  It's really kind of cute, although I wonder if she will eventually be OCD and washing her hands 12 times before touching her toys at some point.  But hey, she knows to throw them in the box before we leave the room.  It is not that hard of an expectation to meet eh?

So whatever the state of your abode, just strive to meet your own standards, not those of any imposed on you by some societal unrealistic standard.  Care about your home the way you care about yourself and your family, as best you can with the "help" of kids.