I have much more success when I take on little changes and build from there. You know, like the pyramids. One block at a time, one grain of sand at a time if you need. You cannot make life sweeping changes that will stick, overnight. Be realistic in your expectations of yourself.
When we start the new year, which is soon again can you even believe it?!?! We claim that this year will be better, we will eat healthy, workout every day, be positive every day. We claim that we are going to be totally different than we have been in years past. Why? What is so bad about who you are that every time a new year rolls around you feel you need a complete overhaul? Yes, we should exercise regularly, yes we should eat healthy, yes we should do our best to maintain kindness towards others. But these things should not be part of an overhaul we need. I get it, we get addicted to junk food. I get it, we do not exercise because we are just too darn busy to fit it in. Those things are best added in small doses to ensure successfully sticking with them.
What is it in your life that you are so unhappy about? Is it your job? Is it the way you parent? Is the spouse you are to your partner? What are you so desperate to change about yourself, and why? Yes, change is possible, and probable if done correctly. But do not beat yourself up if you backslide, to err is human, remember. If you are unhappy with your job, do not quit until you have a new job. Do not come home and dump your angst on your spouse every day. Realize that you are where you are for a reason. Then, brainstorm with ways to change your situation. Share THAT with your spouse, he or she may be able to help you. Determine where your passion lies, and how you can get there. Share THAT with your spouse, he or she may be a valuable asset to you accomplishing your goal which will bring you closer together.
Are you in need of some parenting tweeks? Do you constantly yell at your kids, with no result, or even worse with the result that they just become upset? Maybe you should take a parenting class, there is no shame in learning new skills, it is for the sake of your children. Leave all pride at the door. Maybe you need to seek counseling for anger that is being focused on the children. Maybe that is how your parents treated you, stop and think how it made you feel about your parents, is that how you want your children to feel about you? Obviously not, if it is an overhaul you are trying to make.
Whatever changes you desire to make you need a plan of action, not just the notion that you need a change. You need to figure out what your end goal is, and formulate a plan on how to get from point A to point B. And then you need to come up with a contingency plan, because you will need one at some point. Next, be real with yourself, you may fail, several times. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again. Try as many times as it takes until you get it right. Make as many plans as you need.
Seek support from friends and family. These people are here to lift you up, to inspire you. Any one that tears you down with criticism need not be in your circle. Surround yourself with the people that are where you want to be, and become the best student ever. Stop trying to pretend you have it all together, you do not. No one has it ALL together. We are human, and to err is human.
Once you have found the support you need for change, there is another step in that process. Be the support for someone else. One of the best ways of learning something is to teach it. When you have your basic foundation, start looking to help those around you. You will feel inspired within yourself to do more, change more, do better, stay on track. You will also be inspiring others to make small changes which lead to big changes in their own lives. How awesome will it feel when you have not only accomplished your own goals but been a support for someone else to accomplish their own, and for them to support someone, and so on and so forth.
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