We have all seen the kids who overrun their parents, the kids who are way too sugared up, way too out of control, and way too whiny. We have all seen them, but here is a question, what do you do when you see it? Have any of you ever actually said something to the parents? I know I have not. I have however said something to my own children the nanosecond we got into the car. I think every moment has a lesson to glean and this is no exception.
I have literally gotten my kids into the car only to turn around and say, "Did you notice that boy that was screaming at his mother in the candy aisle? Let me just say, that behavior is completely unacceptable in our lives, and I will not ever tolerate that the way she did." Usually my kids are as put off as I am at the defiant, obnoxious sorts, thank goodness.
We all have our ups and downs. We all have good days and bad days with our children. I would like to think that little Johnny throwing a tantrum over candy is just having a bad moment, but I am more inclined to believe that little Johnny behaves like this regularly, because it gets him exactly what he wants. He is engaged in guerilla warfare with his parents, and he is winning. They are overworked, under paid, and over tired. They have given in, and Johnny knows it.
Can I just throw this out there? Have some compassion (or at least pause) for mama with the kiddoe that is in meltdown out in public..use it as a learning moment-absolutely- but you never know all the issues behind the meltdown. As the mom of a kidlet that has been facing a lot of mountains recently and we are just...*just*... getting some answers, he's had his share of meltdowns in public for reasons as simple as I threw the wrapper away that he found on the floor and wanted to keep "just because" or the shoe he is wearing keeps coming off because the Velcro has given up the ghost and he cant deal with re attaching it one more time, or "I have to watch the train at Wegmans until it gets exactly around to this point in the track" (or his brain will implode). He's not spoiled one little bit. In fact, we (and others) consider us rather strict parents. I always marveled at the parents that could walk through a store with the children walking quietly behind them without a glance backwards. I had to almost stare at my kidlet to ensure his presence and to cut off at the pass those many things that suddenly made our life (and that store trip) come to a screeching halt. Many times I ran into friends that I had to stop whatever conversation I was having (usually no more than a few sentences in) because he couldn't handle standing in one spot silently that long. I always walked away feeling judgment at my back--sigh. We are now finding out many things we never realized about Ray and he is doing much better now but we find ourselves with a little PTSD at what could happen or every phone call from school, camp, friend he may be playing with. We are at least heading up the mountain instead of staring from the base but I definitely want to share that it isn't always what it seems and I have a lot more sympathy for parents in public these days.
ReplyDeleteThe little boy was literally cursing at his mother, like dropping the f bomb, because she said no to buying him something. And while he is going off, she did nothing. I understand children have issues, but the grocery store is not the location for the rest of the world to watch as she chooses to ignore those issues. I really think, if nothing else, a trip to the car would have been in order, until he calmed down and she could either go back in or return later. This boy was out of control, and I do not believe that should be walked up and down the aisles of the store. One of my kids had no idea what the f word was until that day, and then I was asked to explain what it meant. I have plenty of empathy for parents with children who have special needs, but this child was beyond anything I can recall witnessing. And I know you, I strongly doubt if your child was cursing you a new one while in the store you would have reacted (or not reacted) the way this lady did. I have ignored many a temper tantrum, but when the child is cursing, that is the time to deal with it. Especially since he was not stopping, only getting louder. Why let him reach full melt down when she could diffuse the situation...
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