One of the biggest compliments I get is that my kids are great eaters. This goes across the board with all three girls. My 19 month old daughter's favorite food is broccoli, and next to that is avocado. She also loves bean sprouts. My older daughters are great eaters also, they love spinach, broccoli, peppers, etc. This is not a situation in which I just got lucky three times. It is no happy accident that I have three kids who eat well, and appreciate healthy fruits and vegetables.
From the time they started eating solid foods I pushed fruits and more so vegetables. Starting as early as possible I started feeding them every veggie I could, even the ones that I do not particularly care for myself. It is important that kids develop their own tastes. Just because I did not like brussel sprouts as a child does not mean my kids would hate them. As a matter of fact I discovered that when cooked properly, those things are quite delicious! Who knew?!?! I have a deal with my girls regarding new foods. If they give it one or two bites, real bites not little nibbles that you cannot even see on the spoon, and they do not like it then they do not have to eat it. All I ask is that they try, and they do. I think having the ultimate say over whether or not they are going to be eating this food has made a world of difference. They know there is no fight, just try it, give it a fair shot, and if you do not like it, then that's okay. But here is the catch, the next time I make it (which will not be for a while) you have to try it again. Maybe I will try to cook it differently, season it differently, or your taste buds have matured enough to palate the food now. But you have to give it a true shot, every time.
In saying that, it is important that I say something to all my parents out here. If your child tries something and really just does not like it, then you have to be real about how frequently you cook it. You really do have to consider their preferences when you are planning meals, get them involved, it makes a difference.
My girls love to help cook dinner. They are constantly asking how something is made, what is in it, what they can do to contribute to the meal also. They have a vested interest in what they are going to be eating, and guess what, that also makes them want to try things even if they are unsure how it is going to taste. Are you seeing the control theme throughout this post yet?? It is true, kids want to be a part of what decisions effect them, and what they eat is one of those decisions. I have never had to have a show down at the dinner table, ever. I have never had to bargain with my kids to eat all their vegetable, or anything, in order to get something else. I have, however, hidden vegetables in my oldest daughter's smoothies when she was a toddler.
We all know that toddlers are wonderful little beings, until they discover free will. Then it is on like Donkey Kong. My oldest daughter went through a phase where she would not eat vegetables, but she was 18 months old. She only wanted fruits. I kept offering them at almost every meal in every way I could think to prepare them. She refused to eat them. I even said something to the doctor, who informed me it was a phase, and she would return to her normal veggie loving self in time. Well that was all fine and good but not enough for me to feel better. Every morning this child asked for a fruit smoothie, which I happily made for her. Then, one morning, I decided to see what would happen if I added the leftover broccoli that she refused from dinner the night before. I upped the amount of fruit a little bit, and voila! She drank it without any issue. She had no idea that she was drinking a broccoli smoothie, but I felt better about her getting the nutrients that I was paranoid about her missing. Eventually, after I continued to offer veggies, she came around, and began eating regularly again.
It was a control issue, she was standing her ground against doing something she knew I really wanted her to do. I just got creative. I felt better, and relaxed more about her not devouring the veggies, and she picked up on my feelings. She relaxed her grip on controlling what was going into her mouth when she felt that her feelings were being respected. I know it may sound silly to be talking about a child who was 18 months old when this happened, but trust and believe, this is the reality of it. Toddlers are little people, they have personalities, and traits that adults have also. We have to learn how to communicate in their language since they are unable to communicate in our completely. When I gave my child the understanding that I was not going to control what she ate, she ate everything in sight. My job as a parent was to get creative and yes, sneaky. This same child now wants to go to culinary school and someday be a chef. She eats just about anything. She loves to cook, and loves to try new foods.
My 19 month old daughter is currently a vegetarian. She eats all types of veggies, fruits, grains, etc. Now, that is not to say she eats everything because she does not. But I keep offering everything because at some point she will probably begin to like the things she does not care for right now, like peppers. I make sure that whatever we are eating, there is enough that I know for sure she does like, and then give her a little of the other things that she may or may not care for also. It is a balance, but one that will make the future so much easier. No more, my child only eats chicken nuggets and fries, or worse. Kids are going to go through phases of preferences, yes, but we have to be diligent as parents in offering things to them. We have to walk the tightrope of control, never fully relinquishing it, but giving our children enough of it themselves that they feel like we respect them. That is what picky eating is about, control.
If you have a picky eater, start out slow. Buy a kids cookbook and let your child pick out a recipe for you to make together. Something easy and simple, just to put your toes in the water at first. When they see that they created something, and they like it, they will want to do it again, and again. Get creative, get sneaky if you have to, but most of all, get proactive! Get kids involved, and they will overcome their pickiness. If you give them a good, healthy example, they will follow. We are the biggest influence in our children's lives, and it is our obligation as their parents to make sure that we are positive influences.
Jaime, I have tried everything possible with Joey. He will eat almost anything including fruit, but eating vegetables is a different story. He will try, but his eyes tear up because he tries so hard to focus on getting just the tiniest bit down. He has made himself lose his entire dinner. We just hide some in the food we make or give him V8 Fusion. We put veggies on his plate all the time, but it's not eating them right now. I think most kids like corn, but Joey will not even touch that. Gianni will eat and try anything. He has always been good like that. I think it's great that all of your kids are good eaters, but all kids are different. I have always tried with Joey. I have a video of Joey when he was about 8 months old. I opened a jar of peas and I had not even given him a bite yet and he started fake coughing and put hia head down. I say he hates all vegetables and I mean he will not eat potato in any form, including french fries. Sometimes it doesn't even matter. There was one night (and this will sound horrible) that I pushed him so hard. I told him if he did not eat at least some peas I was going to spank him. He said he would try. He got i t close to his mouth, but stopped. This went on for maybe 10 minutes. Finally I said that's it you want me to spank you and he said yes. I told him I am not going to. He asked me why and I said because that says a lot. You would rather get a spanking instead of eating your vegetables. I learned a lot about how painful it is for him to get them down.
ReplyDeleteI know your situation with him, I remember!! You know what I would do in your case, take a break. Just take a break. I think it has been an issue for him for so long that he just needs to have it taken off the table for a while, literally. You guys are really good about hiding what you can where you can, and that is great, remember we have to be sneaky sometimes. I would just take a break altogether and fit veggies in on the down low whenever possible. It will save you and him some aggravation. It's not like he's a sickly kid, or like you just allow him to walk around eating crap just because he doesn't like veggies. I know you guys, you would never go out like that. I know parents who literally feed their children fast food fries and chicken nuggets almost every single day, for multiple meals a day. I know parents who say they themselves hate vegetables and therefor do not offer them to their kids.
ReplyDeleteI also have to say, I think Joey's case is a little more extreme than most picky eaters. It's almost like he has some physical aversion that just makes him react. I don't think most kids are like Joey that are picky eaters. Honestly, I think Joey would probably rather just like the veggies and not have the reaction to begin with. And the fact that he eats fruits is great! I would introduce him to every fruit I could find. He can get sooo many nutrients in fruits! Veggies are but one aspect to healthy eating. Yes, they are important, but there are many other foods too. I love you guys, and I know how much you have tried with him, and honestly that is my point, that parents should never just give up. Take a step back, regroup, try something different, take veggies out of the equation for a while altogether, and just let him get the nutrients he needs through other avenues that are just as healthy.