Disorganized Chaos...

So I blogged about this topic yesterday, but I am going to hit it again today also because I think it is important to discuss this aspect of child development.  Yesterday's blog titled, "I Am Raising A Hoarder..." was about my 8 year old daughter.  She is the sweetest, most loving child, and she is a pack rat.  She is beginning to forget to turn in assignments, forget to turn in folders, and instead of cleaning her room is trying to get away with shoving things in her closet.  She claims forgetfulness every single time, but I know that it is more than forgetting, it is being disorganized. 

I know some of you are wondering what exactly I think is the big trauma here, she is 8 years old and most of them are irresponsible.  My problem is that it is effecting her school work, and she is becoming increasingly disorganized.  I read an article today about disorganized children.  I felt better after reading it because honestly, it feels good to know I am not alone by far. 

Some of the tools the article outlines are really key in most kids' lives.  Teaching kids how to prioritize, how to organize, and realize that these tools are not always innate behaviors that everyone has in themselves.  It is important to guide children through the process of not only learning these tools, but also in incorporating them into their daily routines to make sure that they stick. 

Basic Guidelines

Some simple, basic steps in beginning to organize our children is to make sure they have a daily routine.  The more routine their day is the less stress is created in the unknown.  My kids come home every day and have a snack and do homework immediately.  They know this, there is no question, it is just our routine.  So I make sure that every day we follow this simple routine.  At 7 P.M. we go upstairs every day so that the older two girls can shower and I can bathe the baby.  Whatever time is left between then and 8 P.M. on school nights is their television time.  This is our routine, and most people that have ever even been to our house can tell you it runs like clock work.

With my middle daughter I will need to add a couple new steps to our routine.  For instance, along with homework, I am going to need to add cleaning out her back pack.  I looked in it yesterday, and I think Jimmy Hoffa is buried in there.  This is a simple task that can be easily added into our routine, but it is going to take my commitment to helping her establish it in her routine.

Another basic guideline in organizing a disorganized child is talking to them about their daily grind on the job, aka school.  Just asking if their homework has been finished is not good enough.  There needs to be a meeting of the minds, and a sharing of the calendars on a regular basis.  This way, parents know when book reports are due, exams are scheduled, and what is going on in the child's week and can help regulate stress.  The more a child is prepared, the less disorganized and chaotic they will be.  This only leads to healthier study habits, and better organization. 

For my peanut, she has a daily planner that her assignments are listed in and we go through it regularly.  We will begin to go through it even more, and plan ahead the time that she will be working on things like projects and reports.  That way, I can keep an eye on what she has due when, when she should be done with a project, and she can have work done without that last minute procrastination push.

Outlining Expectations

It is important that parents have realistic expectations of their children.  Otherwise, they will feel like they can never meet what their parents want of them which can lead to real emotional issues down the line.  We have to remember that they are kids, and they should act like them.  We are to guide and teach them, not brow beat and criticize them.  I found a great site that that outlines stages in child development.  The site first breaks down child development by age groups, and then further breaks down what the expectations can be for each age group socially, educationally, and emotionally. 

This is a great tool for parents to refer to when dealing with a new stage with all of their children.  I have never had this issue with my oldest daughter, so this is new territory for me, even though I have three kids.  There is never a dull moment with kids, and just when you think you have it figured out they will throw you a curve ball. 

Once the age appropriate expectations are identified by the adults, and expressed to the children, then it is time to make sure actions are put into place.  Follow through means everything.  Without consistency, there is no change in a child's life.  They need repetition, routine, and reward.  With the repetition and the routine will come the reward. 

My daughter is going to finish this school year strongly, we made a pact on that one.  We have agreed to implement some new expectations into our routine, and we will soon reap the rewards.  She is going to learn that being organized and on task has its own benefits beyond making everyone happy.  She is going to see that hard work does feel good, and that Jimmy Hoffa is too heavy to be lugging around in that back pack of hers.  Onward and upward.