Explaining to the Kids...

When I picked my kids up from school today I breathed a sigh of relief.  I knew they were okay, obviously, but just seeing them made my heart finally relax.  I cannot fathom being a parent and receiving a phone call that there has been an emergency at my kids' school, only to get there and get the news that my child has been shot.  Not just any old emergency, but my ELEMENTARY school child has been shot, and is dead.  This is not within the realm of my reality.  I cannot even imagine.

I had to drive my girls to their father's house for the weekend.  We usually hit really bad traffic on the way down, it's northern Virginia the only traffic we have is BAD traffic.  I told them that something sad and tragic happened today.  I explained the events of the shooting.  They were quiet.  My 10 year old said how said it was that the children died, and how scared everyone must have been. My 8 year old took it to a whole other level.

My precious, loving, caring little 8 year old baby said, "Hmm, right before Christmas.  Those poor people.  I bet those parents have bought Christmas presents for their kids, what are they supposed to do this Christmas without their kids?"  I was a weeping mess by the time she said Christmas the first time.  I had not yet let my brain wander to that thought, that harsh reality.  I had not even given consideration to the idea of these families missing the most important part of Christmas...the children.

My daughter then proceeded to say a Hail Mary and an Our Father for the kids that were lost, and all the people affected by this horror.  Her sister said it with her, and so did I, but it was her idea.  She is the most caring, affectionate child.  She wants attention more than any toy on the market.  She wants acceptance more than any video game.  She wants everyone in her world to be happy more than she wants any material possession.

Telling our kids about this tragedy is important, depending on the age of our children.  Mine are old enough to need to have this explained.  They watch the news sometimes, they read things, they pay attention to what goes on in the world.  I kept my explanation simple, stright forward, and age appropriate.  That is the best advice I have. 

They need to understand, but they need to have it in a perspective that they can grasp at their age.  They need to know they are safe and sound, and that we will do everything we can to protect them from the cold, sometimes cruel world. 

So when you talk to your kids about this or any other life event, keep it simple, to the point, and age appropriate.  Give them no more information than what they need to understand the basic information.  They have an entire lifetime to be jaded by reality, save as much innocence as we can for now.