A Delicate Balance....

I fully believe that this picture captures how most parents feel at any given moment of any given day.  Life can sometimes feel like this delicate balancing act, in which you are completely blindfolded. 

Juggling kids, work, home, marriage, health, play, etc., can be exhausting and we have not even finished the day yet.  I think it is important for people to realize that there are only so many hours in one day, and only so much that can be accomplished in that day.

I know many people that have a hard time asking for help, and yes, I am one of them.  It has always been a struggle for me to ask others for help in any way.  I always felt like I could just handle it, whatever "it" was.  Like the woman in this picture I felt as though I could just toss another ball in the juggle and keep on ballet dancing on down the tightrope.  Sometimes, we have those days where we can handle it all.  I have had days where I got multiple loads of laundry done, an almost gourmet dinner prepared, worked out, scrubbed half the house, and still managed to shower and look hot before hubby got home.  Then I have had those days where I wonder if I will manage to get out of my yoga pants before I have to pick up the kids from school, and better yet, wonder how much I care. 

Life ebbs and flows, and so do our bodies and our energies.  We have to learn to seize the moments when they hit, and not beat ourselves up when they leave.  Today has been one of those challenging days when I set out with my sights to conquer the world and now the day is almost gone and I feel like I hit about half the things on my list.  I sit in my bed with my laptop, and my sleeping toddler next to me, wondering if it is worth it to try and stay up long enough to do one more load of laundry.  I am already planning what I have to get started when I get up tomorrow at 5 A.M.  I have my mental list growing in my head. 

But will this keep me up tonight?  No, not at all.  I know that today I did my best with what I have.  I have a teething toddler, two school age kids, a husband who was home not feeling well, and myself having been up a great deal last night.  I walked the tightrope and juggled as much as I could today while ballet dancing blindfolded across the circus ring, and I am okay with that.  I will do it all again tomorrow, and dance blindfolded, juggling, and be okay with that load too. 

Do Co-Sleeping Babies Lead To Independent Children???

I read an article the other day that left me going, "Hmmmm????"  It was geared towards how our American society views certain child rearing techniques somewhat in a backwards way.  Co-sleeping was one of the topics that was touched on in the article. 

I have three children and I have never co-slept, before now.  My third child, who is now 19 months sleeps half the night in her bed, and half in our bed....okay, sometimes more than half.  I have always felt somewhat guilty about this, like I was not teaching her independence.  Now after reading this article, and examining my child, I have to wonder if I have in fact been teaching her more independence than she would have if she did not co-sleep.  Hmmmm...

First and foremost, here is the article titled, "Have American Parents Got It All Backwards?"  It sites the Japanese culture and their beliefs on co-sleeping.  The Japanese are very supportive of co-sleeping and the notion that it fosters independence by feeding the need for nurturing and closeness at night.  Children automatically feel loved, nurtured, and bonded through co-sleeping, and therefor will act more independently during the day, because that basic need is met.  When they are ready, they will gravitate to their own bed.  Hmmmmm...

I have to say, I feel like this article is certainly valid, and not because I am looking for an excuse to keep my toddler in me bed...well not solely because of that.  I feel like I am benefitting sometimes by having her there also.  I feel like we are exchanging some sort of great energy, bonding, recharging together.  It is hard to put into words. 

So for the time being, I plan on keeping her close, still encouraging her to sleep in her bed when she is okay with that, and letting her come snuggle up with Mommy and Papi when she needs that closeness and comfort.  I will listen to her cues, not society's, when it comes to what is best going to meet her needs. 

I would love to hear co-sleeping stories, or independent sleeper stories.  I am always open to hearing what everyone else's experiences have been. 

The Joy of Having A Toddler...

 

There are many things I love about my toddler.  She is sweet, smart, fun, and just a general joy to be around.  That being said, there is one way in which she drives me absolutely bat sh*t crazy. 

When I am working feverishly to clean the house, she is working just as feverishly to unclean the house.  I try and get her involved, to get her to "help" me.  This is almost as bad as just letting her go buck wild in the background. 

What I do now is get her interested in a couple different activities in one central location.  Then, I hurry to get as much done as I can in that area without distracting her attention from whatever has her captivated.  Once she loses that desire to stay where she is playing nicely, my time is up and it is time to wrap it up, immediately.

Some people just say screw it, and let it all hang out until the kid goes to bed and then they do the 15 minute round up and shove everything in its place as quickly as they can.  Others, like me, go through the daily grind of trying to maintain a level of "company ready" at all times.  There is no wrong or right method, just a matter of what you are comfortable doing.

I have been in people's homes that looked like a tornado went through.  When I walked in they politely said, "You will have to excuse the mess, I just wait until bedtime and we clean it all up then."  No big, I mean as long as it is not my house, I do not get hung up on that.  Now, I have also been to a couple homes in which there was food lingering under the table from breakfast, which was hours since over.  I have seen a few milk ring stained tables, and a stray sippy cup or two.  I know for a fact that the moms in those households were very overwhelmed, because they told me so.  Thankfully it was soon after our visit that they were able to get a helping hand in there to get them back to the level that they were comfortable. 

It is important to be okay in your own home, whether you have kids or not.  I have a 19 month old who is a busy little bee, and who is very clingy to mommy.  So things are not as clean as I would like, but I have to say I feel like I do a pretty good job.  At any moment someone could come into my home and I would feel fine welcoming them in and feel relaxed sitting down with them for a visit.  I would not feel like I had to explain away a mess, or be shoving things in the closet before I opened the front door.

I think the key to this is keeping as minimal amount of items out and about as possible.  The more knick knacks the more dust, the more clutter, the more ojeda (pronounced ah-je-da).  You know it, you have had it at some point if you are a parent. I think there can be a balance kept that does not keep parent away from child too much, but still allows the house to be kept tidy and in order.  I also love organizational aids, but be careful because too many of these are just more clutter.

We also have areas that are toy friendly and areas that are not.  My 19 month old also knows that before we leave her area, which is the living room, she must put her toys back in her toy box.  She does it religiously now.  It just took some practice and patience, and lots of clapping.  But she knows that it is part of the routine.  If she is ready for bath or bed, she will start cleaning up, and you can hear her saying, "Mess, clean up mess. Okay, yes, clean mess."  It's really kind of cute, although I wonder if she will eventually be OCD and washing her hands 12 times before touching her toys at some point.  But hey, she knows to throw them in the box before we leave the room.  It is not that hard of an expectation to meet eh?

So whatever the state of your abode, just strive to meet your own standards, not those of any imposed on you by some societal unrealistic standard.  Care about your home the way you care about yourself and your family, as best you can with the "help" of kids.

 

Interviewed For The Washington Post Magazine.

EXTRA! EXTRA!  READ ALL ABOUT IT!!!


I was recently interviewed by Janice D'Arcy for an article about the division of labor in parenting.  She wrote a fabulous 4 page article about co-parenting, and the division of labor in regards to raising children. 

My two cents amounted to this,

 “I think feminism is one of the worst things for women, because we had totally mastered Donna Reed, home cooking and taking care of the kids thing, and then we ventured out into the workplace, which is great and all, and sent the message that women can do it all,” says Jaime Vargas-Benitez, a mother of three in Alexandria. She says she tried that model in her first marriage, but the stress took too deep a toll. In her second marriage, she and her husband decided to revert to the traditional dynamic. “We made the necessary sacrifices so I could stay home. ... In terms of kids, the division of labor is 90 percent me and 10 percent my husband.” It is working so well, she says, that she looks around incredulously at others who are trying to reinvent the wheel.

 

 

For those of you that think I must be one heck of a moron for saying feminism is one of the worst things to have happened to women, let me explain.  I believe in moderation, in all things.  I believe that women can have it all, but that it takes a family, a village, to raise children.  My mom was a single mom for a good while, she also was remarried.  A single mom does not raise her child/children by herself.  Somewhere along the way those kids are interacting with others, teachers, day care providers, family, friends. 

 

I believe that feminism gave women the belief that they HAD to be able to do EVERYTHING by themselves.  It gave women the notion that they should be able to not only manage the household, but that they should also be able to do so while having a career.  More importantly, I believe feminism gave women the idea that they should be able to do all these things and not have to sacrifice in any field.  That women should be able to work all day, have a clean house, drive the kids to school, soccer practice, cook healthy dinners, and still have something left at the end of the day to be a sex kitten for their hubby.  Now, I don't know about anyone else but I was exhausted by just typing all that. 

 

I believe that one parent should be home, all the time.  I believe that whenever possible children should be with one or both of their parents.  Now of course there are always extenuating circumstances, I know that.  But ideally, kids need their parents, always. 

 

I believe that feminism made women feel like asking for help from their counterpart meant showing weakness, showing insecurity, when in reality it says, "Hey, we made this family together, so can you help a sister out with some laundry?!?!" 

 

THAT is my point.  Men and women should work together in the house and out.  In my case, my husband makes more than enough for me to stay home, so the predominance of the housework and child rearing falls on me.  I am VERY okay with that.  I just make sure that I have some outlet...hi, have we met, this is my outlet right here. 

 

There needs to be balance in any home, in any person's life, not just women.  I believe in equality, absolutely, but I do not believe that equality, true equality was the outcome of feminism.  I believe it tipped the scales to the extreme in our society.  It was a campfire that slowly burned out of control until it no longer served to keep the people by it warm, but made them run screaming to avoid getting burned. 

 

I welcome your opinions, and would love to hear what you have to say about the article....I think it is a great read!!!

 

 



To Stay Home, Or Not To Stay Home....

This is always a tough question for me, regarding when to let the kids stay home when they do not feel well.  I have two polar opposites when it comes to my school age girls.  One stays healthy pretty much all the time, and suffers most from stress.  She is home today, not feeling well.  My other school ager suffers daily from allergy issues, sinus pressure, general stuffiness and constant issues, she is at school today. 

The younger one is currently on medication for an ear infection, and I have to say I completely expected her to want to stay home when she found out that her older sister was staying home.  She did not, kudos to her.  She packed her backpack, gave me her rundown of the 10 things that hurt or are bothering her (she is a bit of a hypochondriac), and hopped into the car to go to school. 

The older sister got up, looked like she was not wanting to go anywhere but back to bed, and started getting ready for school.  The baby and I went up to check on everyone, and upon entering her room she became wet eyed and proclaimed she did not feel well and wanted to stay home.  She was dressed for school except for one sock.  She proceeded to climb into her bed, one sock still off and pull the covers up over her head.  I hemmed and hawed, and felt her forehead.  She felt a little warm, but probably from being under the covers.  I let her stay home.  She said her head, sinuses, and stomach hurt.  She took a nap and seems okay now, although she is still tired.

I went back and forth in my head over whether to make her get up, take something, and go to school, or just let her stay in bed...the staying in bed won.  When she reaches the point of not wanting to go to school, whether she is really sick or not, she really is not well.  Maybe she just needs a mental health day, maybe she really is sick.  I cannot be sure.  But either way, I let her stay home.

If they other one had asked to stay home would I have let her?  I cannot say for sure.  That sounds terrible right?!?!  They are so different.  The younger of the two would stay home every day and in her pajamas all day if I let her.  The older one stresses about missing school because of what she will have to make up. 

What do you use as your parental parameters regarding when you let your kids stay home?  Is it the same across the board for all the kids in the house? 

She just coughed, maybe that is her token symptom trying to convince me she really did need to be home today due to illness....or she just had to clear her throat.

The First Day of The Rest of My Life

Happy New Year!  Up and ready to roll out the first blog of the new year at 8:00AM this morning. 

I am dedicating this year to myself!  I am constantly doing things for others, which I love, but I put myself on the back burner way too often.  I am going to make myself my first priority this year.  I am going to set the example for my girls.  Like Dr. Phil says, "You teach people how to treat you."  This is insanely true.  If you find yourself constantly being taken advantage of, then you need to locate the welcome mat on your forehead and remove it. 

I am going to start TODAY and make some changes, and make my world a better place.  I have a lot to offer, and it is about time I did.  I am creative, funny, dependable, smart, and lots of other great adjectives.  I am going to make 2013 the year of the Mom.  And by Mom, I mean me. 

So stay tuned all year for the journey of my life.  The journey of my family's lives, and a whole lot in between. 

I am going to be talking, physical health, mental health, emotional health, and every other kind of health I can think of.  If you ever thought you were unfulfilled in some aspect of your life, stay tuned, because we are going to address that area this year.  Want to help me?  Then you have to be here, with me, in the trenches making it happen.  I welcome you, heart and soul. 

Ready.  Set.  GO!

The Lament of the Stay at Home Mom (or Dad)

I was just thinking about the way stay at home parents are regarded in society.  I feel like because I am at home people think that I have more time in my day than anyone else.  No, I still have the same seconds, minutes, and hours as anyone.  I just have several different types of activities I have to cram into that time efficiently.

I hear it all over the place, "Well, since you stay at home, you can do...." and, "It must be nice to be at home and not have to work."  Or one of my favorites, "I wish I could stay at home and do nothing."  Yes, me too.  Well, actually I do not wish to do nothing, that would be a lonely and boring existence.  I have to say though, my days are full.  I have two kids in school, and I try to volunteer there as often as possible.  I have a toddler at home who does not nap much, so she is with me almost all day.  She is precocious, and adorable, and active.  My day is full just with taking care of her, feeding her, nursing her, teaching her, molding her into a good and decent human being. 

That does not account for the time I spend with the admittedly neglected dog.  He is now acting like a toddler because he sees that type of behavior gets everyone's attention.  I am currently trying to communicate to him that he is not cute enough to get away with it, a point on which we do not see eye to eye.

Then there is the housework that I desperately try to stay on top of, and sometimes I succeed with flying colors, and other times I crash and burn.  There are the errands, school projects, chauffering the kids to their Dad's house and back on the weekends. 

I know some of you are saying, "Yeah well I do all that and I have a full time job."  To that I say, somewhere, somehow, someone is picking up some part of your life.  Whether it is childcare taking care of your child all day, a maid coming to help with housework, eating out more often because you are too tired to cook dinner.  Whatever it is, I say, there is a HUGE difference. 

I put a lot on myself, my husband will be the first one to tell anyone that.  I often feel like a huge financial burden, having to ask for money for things, when I used to be a single working mom I was the bank.  I controlled all income and spending.  I do not wish to control everything now, but I feel like I traded a piece of my independence to be at home.

So how did I conbat that?  I started a home business...go ahead, get the giggles out...I am currently an Independent Consultant for Arbonne, which is an amazing company with great products.  But my problem is finding the time, support, and did I mention time in which to do what I want with my fledgling business.  This company has amazing perks, products, and people.  I want nothing more than to make my business wildly successful.  But I cannot devote the time that I need to, why?  Because I will not allow myself to take that time from my family.  That is why.  That is it in a nutshell.  I will work around it as best I can until the baby gets older and I can devote more time to running a business. 

Stay at home parents often get a raw deal.  People have a tendancy to look down on us, like we are just lounging around doing nothing all day in the lap of luxury.  When in reality, sometimes I feel like I work in a sweat shop....but I would not trade it for the world.  I love my family, and all I really want is there unconditional love and acceptance in return. 

Am I Made Of Silly Putty?!?!

Today I feel like I am being pulled in 12 different directions.  We are down to one car, we have Christmas programs, Christmas shopping, moms coming in to town within the week, I have had to drive the kids to their dads and back (which is an 80 mile round trip venture), nursing a toddler, chasing a toddler, trying to clean the house, AAAAHHHHH!!!!

Today is one of those days that the Art of Being Mom looks like a Pablo Picasso painting on crack.  I am writing this while nursing the baby to sleep, talk about multi-tasking.  I have to go pick up Christmas cards, pick up the kids, pick up the hubby, dinner, get the kids dressed and ready for the Christmas program tonight, make myself presentable, toddler, hubby can definitely dress himself thank God. 

I just feel very stressed, and like I am unable to enjoy this time of year.  With all the running and chasing, and doing and going, I feel like I cannot even enjoy what this season is supposed to be about.  I need a break.  Maybe I need to just start earlier, like March.

I hate to sound like a BAH HUMBUG, but sometimes, that is how I feel.  Of course that all changes when I look at my kids and see how excited they are for Christmas to get here. 

Okay, baby asleep, check!  Now, to lay her down for a nap and grab a shower....I hope that smell isnt me, I am pretty sure it is the dog...another task for my ever growing TO DO LIST. 

I Sing Like Alicia Keys, And Look LIke Jennifer Aniston.

When my oldest child was a toddler she thought that Jennifer Aniston was me.  We would be in the grocery store and she would see a magazine cover with Jennifer on it, and she would start pointing and saying, "Mommy! Look, it's Mommy!"  People would oooh and ahhh over how cute it was.  I was incredibly flattered.  Well, today, her sister increased the ante.

On the way home from their dad's house we were listening to the radio and singing like we were on a stage in Madison Square Garden.  The new Alicia Keys song came on, "That Girl Is On Fire."  Well, we were giving it our best, and my 8 year old says to me, "Mommy, I cannot tell the difference between you and the singer!"  So, I have made a note to myself to get her hearing tested because obviously she cannot hear anymore.

No really, it was incredibly sweet.  Just as sweet as her blind sister that thought Jennifer Aniston was mommy oh so long ago.  The point here is this, my kids think I look and sound like beautiful, incredibly talented famous people.  Wait, no, that is not the point.  The point is that my girls look at me like the superstar in their lives.  Yes, that is my point.  It is an honor and a privilege to be their mother.  I love them so much.

Our kids hold us in the highest of regards.  They put us on a pedastel, and it is our job to earn that position.  We have to act like the people they perceive us to be.  Be the example of the person you wish to raise your child to be like.  Be there, listen, guide them, give them your time, your heart.  Let them know they too are the superstars in your life.  Teach them to sing out loud, heart and soul!

Pre-Teens

My oldest daughter is 10 years.  I know some may not think of that as being pre-teen, but trust me she is very mature for her age....sometimes I think she is a 10 year old in a 25 year old body.  That being said, I have had to come to grips with entering a new phase of parenthood.  Discussing hormones, body changes, and puberty.  Let me just say now, I would rather be hit with a sock full of nickles than to discuss sex with my child.  But I have to, it is the responsible thing to do. 

First, it was the period talk.  I sat her down and discussed what happens in a girls body as she grows and changes.  I talked boobs, hair growth, menstration....it was painful, but I made it through.  Then I swore her to secrecy until she has to discuss this with her children.  Well, maybe not that kind of secrecy, but I told her not to tell her sister.  I also told her that this was something that parents discuss with their kids and not to say anything at school because it is up to her friends' parents to talk about this with them.  So far, no one has called to curse me because my child told their kid about the facts of puberty.

The next topic of discussion, sex.  Oh. My. Gosh.  Just smack me now.  She came home the other day saying that a boy in her class was making a joke about something tickling his pickle.  She said he had to explain to her what that meant.  Now I know I have to have the sex talk with her.  I cannot have fellow fifth graders sharing with her the misinformation about sex that only fifth graders could share.

I am trying to work up the courage for this one.  I would love some advice, book recommendations, a life line....something to make this easier.  I know all parents should be having this conversation with their kids, but I know many do not.  Mostly out of embarrassment, I think.  We need to realize that we are not doing our kids any favors by not discussing things with them.  They will find out one way or another, and they should learn from a reliable source, their parents.

So, after I psych myself up I will take the plunge into the abyss that is the sex talk with my child.  I better get used to it, there are two more after her.  Maybe I will practice on the dog.  He does not understand anyway so I cannot traumatize him too badly.

Someday I will look back on this and laugh....someday.

Gun Control???

In the wake of the events in Connecticut yesterday many people are discussing our need for stricter gun control laws, but some are calling for LESS gun control.  I am respectful of EVERYONE'S opinion, but I completely disagree with this thinking.  I do not think that teachers should be able to carry a concealed weapon inside a school. 

I do not think ANYONE should be allowed to carry any weapon inside of a school.

The fact of the matter is this, there will be tragedy in our society.  The immediate gut reaction may be, "well if I was there and had been able to carry a concealed weapon, I would have shot him."  Unless you are in that exact situation with those exact circumstances, you have no idea what you would actually do. 

So are we supposed to allow teachers to carry weapons and just think that is not going to scare the hell out of the children?  What about the percentages of accidental weapon firings?  Are we going to be okay with that happening in a school?  What about kids that may find a weapon that is not concealed properly enough, because kids are curious and will seek to play with things that they find.

I think allowing any type of fire arms inside any school is asking for more trouble than it would potential diminish.  The right to bare arms was not designed for dealing with crazy weapons wielding people inside an elementary school.  Our forefathers could not have conceived of this type of action.  This did not happen then. 

I understand the anger and frustration driving this thinking.  I understand being completely disturbed by these events to the point of wanting to physically harm the person who did this, regardless of whether or not he is already dead. 

I think we need to focus on WHY these people are doing these horrible things.  What is the mental capacity of these people, and what is the responsibility of their friends and family to report anyone with this severity of mental illness.  I cannot imagine that this person was NOT mentally ill.  In order to walk into a school that his mother used to work in, and shoot innocent children, he HAS to be mentally ill.  Where was his family in this?   Where was his village of support?  THIS is where we have to combat these tragedies.

We need to ENFORCE the gun laws we have set in place.  Mentally ill people should never, ever have access legally to weapons.  We have laws regarding this and they often go uninforced.  Yes, there are other ways to get weapons, but if we make it as difficult as possible we increase our chances that some how this person will screw up their plan enough that someone will notice, and report them BEFOREHAND. 

I believe we need to protect our children above anything, but I do not agree that allowing teachers and staff to carry concealed weapons is the answer to this problem.  I believe it would further the problem even more.  Go hug your babies, and tell them you love them, because they cannot hear it often enough.

Formula Freebies...

There is a push in today's mother/baby units to remove the free sample formula.  In New York, Mayor Bloomberg is exercising his efforts to increase breastfeeding by telling formula companies that they may no longer provide free samples of formula to the new mothers.  Many people are up in arms over this.  People seem to think that he is trying to take away a mother's right to choose whether or not she breastfeeds her child.  In reality, he is trying to level the playing field. 

These companies are simply exercising a marketing campaign.  They are selling their product to new moms by giving it away first.  These same companies do not provide free samples for moms who choose to breastfeed exclusively.  I did not leave the hospital with breast milk storage bags given to me free.  No, I left with a can of formula, which I did not use.  I have been nursing my 15 month old since the day she was born, and have no use for formula.  If I did need it, I would be okay with the idea of having to buy it myself. 

No one is taking away the choice to breastfeed or bottle feed.  What is being taken away is the advertising to new moms who may be inclined to give up on breastfeeding when it gets tough, and sometimes it gets tough, because they have this free can of formula sitting there.  It is meant to encourage moms to give breastfeeding a chance.  This country is one of the only ones where breastfeeding is almost deemed as a bad thing by a large group of people.  They become vehement at the site of a woman nursing her baby.  Only in America.

We claim to stand for the free and the brave, but turn our backs on the most basic of sustainance giving practices, breastfeeding.  Our society is filled with over weight, under exercised, disease riddled people and we cannot figure out why.  Hello, wake up!!!  It is what we put into our bodies, starting from DAY 1!!!!

So I say, ditch the FREE formula at the hospitals!!!  It is still your choice whether or not to breastfeed or formula feed.  No one is taking that away from anyone.  You just have to pay for it, which you do anyway once you run out of that first can.  

Over Extended

You know, there is a stigma that stay at home Moms are lazy.  That we sit around all day Facebooking and blogging, neglecting our homes and our kids....hey wait, where't the baby???  KIDDING!  She's NURSING!  That is how I have a moment to blog. Anywho, I digress...

Do any of you stay at home Moms have issues with over extending yourself, mostly out of combatting the stigma of being thought of as lazy??  Do you sign up to do every party, bake every snack, contribute to every art project your kids have going on because you, "are home" and "have the time" to do everything under the sun?!?!  This is an affliction, I recognize this, and I quite frankly have this affliction myself. 

This week I have two class picnics to attend and contribute either snacks, toys, tent, or time too...if not all of the above.  I have to schedule a dr appt for the baby, I have to take my car in to be tuned up, I have dinner to cook, lunches to make, breakfasts, a house to keep clean, a dog to walk and pay attention to, and the baby...God bless her soul, my sweet baby who keeps me on my toes every second of the day that she is NOT nursing, or eating somehow.

I have a very busy life, and yet, I often feel like I could be doing more...not sure when I think this should be happening, but I do know it's all psychological.  I would go to counseling for it, but who has the freaking time?!?!

So I will continue to keep doing everything I can for the kiddos, and you know what, in the long run....they will look back and appreciate that they could always count on Mom to be there....even if it was just to bake some goodies.  They will look at their childhoods and recall me juggling everything I could just to make sure they know I love, support, and will be there for them as much as I can. 

That makes it all worth it. 

Okay, time's up, gotta run....

Ssssshhh, we're going to the zoo today.....

Yesterday my oldest daughter was talking about the zoo and the exhibits that were closed the last time we were there.  I was shocked she remembered the last time we were there, as I think it has been at least a year, maybe two since we went.  I was pregnant last year, and not feeling all that great, among many other things that had me not up to par. 

   So I asked her if she would be up for going on Sunday....and of course she said yes.  We have decided NOT to tell her 7 year old sister.  So after church this morning we are going to come home, change our clothes, and pack a small lunch, and leave.  I asked the oldest sister to keep the two younger ones occupied while I make some sandwiches and pack some snacks, to avoid being interrogated by the 7 year old.  Then I will declare we need to go to the store, and off we are headed to the zoo.  It is really an honor to live so close to our nation's capitol, and too many people do not take advantage of all that we have so nearby. 

So our adventure today is to the zoo...I love the zoo....I can't wait to post the reaction and aftermath of this trip.  It's the baby's first trip to the zoo!

Neutral Browns

Looking good doesn't have to take an act of God to accomplish.  Even Moms on a tight time budget, and money budget can easily accomplish this.  Here is a cute, simple look that doesn't have to break the bank.  A comfy, cute brown ruffle dress, with some nude strappy heels, and brown pearl accessories.  When you're in the house you can ditch the heels for some flip flops or flats if you need to, or not. 

The dress:

A-kine, with the gathering at the waist, to hide any tummy issues, and really make your waist look TINY!!!  Some ruffling to dress it up a bit, but comfy knit fabric to keep it wearable all day long.

The accessories:

Who doesn't love simple pearls???  Put these brown ones with the dress above and the shoes below, and BAM, HOT MAMA!!

Yes, I know these are Louboutins...a girl can dream can't she....lol...I have the $24 Kohls equivalent. 

So there ya go, a super cute, comfy, great outfit!!  It's as simple as that.  Every woman, Mom or not, deserves to look great and it shouldn't be that difficult to do it!

My High Needs Baby...

Yesterday was a trying day.  I was overcome by tears when after trying for 2 hours, I could not get my 7 month old to take a nap.  I was laying in my bed nursing her and searching on my phone for some answers.  I found a very interesting article that has made a world of difference in my mind. 

This article, "12 Features of a High Need Baby," changed my outlook.  My daughter is a sweet, loving, alert, attentive baby.  She sleeps well at night, waking a couple times to roll over and nurse but nothing major.  She does not nap during the day for more than 20 minutes unless on rare occassion.  This article gave me the reassurance that its okay that my child is the way she is.  It does not mean that I am not doing right by her, in fact the complete opposite, I am doing exactly what she needs.  She needs me. She is a high needs baby, and that is okay. 

She is perfect the way she is, and so am I.  We will do our best to work with her personality, and cater to what works for us and her.  I love my daughter, high needs, low maintainance, whatever personality type she has....but it felt very good to read a little reassuring article.  Thank you Dr. Sears.

Back from Vacation....whew, I need a Vacation...wait?!?!

Well, we successfully took three kids from the Washington, D.C. area to Puerto Rico, and back.  Everyone made it safe and sound, we all had a fabulous time, and the kids did not want to come back! It was a beautiful trip, and now it is back to the grind of daily life. 
Traveling with children can be scary, some of the looks of our fellow travellers were priceless.  I carried the baby in a baby carrier, varying between my Moby Wrap, and an Ergo carrier.  The two older kids, 9 & 7 years, hauled their carry on suitcases through the airports like pros.  Hubby led the way, kids in the middle, and Mom carrying up the rear...we looked like a caravan but we made it without any complaining, no lost children, no lost luggage, and fully in tact. 
My husband even proclaimed that traveling with these kids was easier than traveling with anyone he had ever travelled with...WOOT! It's all in the planning and execution.