Do Co-Sleeping Babies Lead To Independent Children???

I read an article the other day that left me going, "Hmmmm????"  It was geared towards how our American society views certain child rearing techniques somewhat in a backwards way.  Co-sleeping was one of the topics that was touched on in the article. 

I have three children and I have never co-slept, before now.  My third child, who is now 19 months sleeps half the night in her bed, and half in our bed....okay, sometimes more than half.  I have always felt somewhat guilty about this, like I was not teaching her independence.  Now after reading this article, and examining my child, I have to wonder if I have in fact been teaching her more independence than she would have if she did not co-sleep.  Hmmmm...

First and foremost, here is the article titled, "Have American Parents Got It All Backwards?"  It sites the Japanese culture and their beliefs on co-sleeping.  The Japanese are very supportive of co-sleeping and the notion that it fosters independence by feeding the need for nurturing and closeness at night.  Children automatically feel loved, nurtured, and bonded through co-sleeping, and therefor will act more independently during the day, because that basic need is met.  When they are ready, they will gravitate to their own bed.  Hmmmmm...

I have to say, I feel like this article is certainly valid, and not because I am looking for an excuse to keep my toddler in me bed...well not solely because of that.  I feel like I am benefitting sometimes by having her there also.  I feel like we are exchanging some sort of great energy, bonding, recharging together.  It is hard to put into words. 

So for the time being, I plan on keeping her close, still encouraging her to sleep in her bed when she is okay with that, and letting her come snuggle up with Mommy and Papi when she needs that closeness and comfort.  I will listen to her cues, not society's, when it comes to what is best going to meet her needs. 

I would love to hear co-sleeping stories, or independent sleeper stories.  I am always open to hearing what everyone else's experiences have been. 

Co-sleeping....

What we do with our 15 month old is what I call modified co-sleeping.  She naps every day in her own bed.  At night she sleeps mostly in our bed.  Last night she slept the whole night in our bed.  After the happenings of yesterday I needed the extra snuggle of my littlest angel.  I just had to listen to her breathing, see her chest moving up and down while she slept, just know that she was okay lying there next to me. 

Typically, she wakes up frequently.  She wakes up every 1-2 hours.  I start her off in her bed, and then at some point I move her to our bed so that she can continue to nurse and I can get some sleep.  I love her snuggly little self, but I also love having my spot back in the bed.  It's a tug of war every night.  At first I was being given greatly divided advice on co-sleeping.  I turned to Dr. Sears for information.   Upon reading the information I was so happy that I am NOT in fact screwing my child up forever.  I am NOT going to smother her, thank God.  She will actually be perfectly happy and healthy. 

That being said, I am working on getting her out of my bed.  Why?  Well, as I mentioned before I am not getting as good sleep as I was before her.  I have about half the space in the bed, which leads to me being awakened mroe frequently.  I have sleep issues to begin with so this is just adding to my sleep deprivation. 

I stay at home, and thus, am with my little one all day.  So being all day, and all night, I am having a little trouble with not having any time that is alone time.  Not that I would be alone, my hubby is in the bed too.  But I need to feel like I am not constantly in Mommy mode, even if I am.  It's psychological really.  But it is my reason and therefor valid enough. 

So there are benefits to co-sleeping.  Better sleep for parent and baby (I am the odd mommy out in this one apparently), better physiology for baby, decrease in SIDS, and better emotional health.  No one says co-sleeping is necessary for a well developed child.  But co-sleeping is certainly not detrimental to a baby's health and well being.

Co-sleeping is a personal, parenting choice.  I choose to do modified co-sleeping, and that works for our family.