One Grain of Sand at a Time....

I love this quote because I often try the whole life overhaul and when I fail I feel beat down. I cannot figure out why I cannot eat healthy, exercise every day, keep the house spotless, the kids eternally happy and cooperative, the spouse happy, and the dog adequately walked, while I myself look like I stepped out of a magazine every day.

I have much more success when I take on little changes and build from there. You know, like the pyramids. One block at a time, one grain of sand at a time if you need. You cannot make life sweeping changes that will stick, overnight. Be realistic in your expectations of yourself.

When we start the new year, which is soon again can you even believe it?!?! We claim that this year will be better, we will eat healthy, workout every day, be positive every day. We claim that we are going to be totally different than we have been in years past. Why? What is so bad about who you are that every time a new year rolls around you feel you need a complete overhaul? Yes, we should exercise regularly, yes we should eat healthy, yes we should do our best to maintain kindness towards others. But these things should not be part of an overhaul we need. I get it, we get addicted to junk food. I get it, we do not exercise because we are just too darn busy to fit it in. Those things are best added in small doses to ensure successfully sticking with them.

What is it in your life that you are so unhappy about? Is it your job? Is it the way you parent? Is the spouse you are to your partner? What are you so desperate to change about yourself, and why? Yes, change is possible, and probable if done correctly. But do not beat yourself up if you backslide, to err is human, remember. If you are unhappy with your job, do not quit until you have a new job. Do not come home and dump your angst on your spouse every day. Realize that you are where you are for a reason. Then, brainstorm with ways to change your situation. Share THAT with your spouse, he or she may be able to help you. Determine where your passion lies, and how you can get there. Share THAT with your spouse, he or she may be a valuable asset to you accomplishing your goal which will bring you closer together.

Are you in need of some parenting tweeks? Do you constantly yell at your kids, with no result, or even worse with the result that they just become upset? Maybe you should take a parenting class, there is no shame in learning new skills, it is for the sake of your children. Leave all pride at the door. Maybe you need to seek counseling for anger that is being focused on the children. Maybe that is how your parents treated you, stop and think how it made you feel about your parents, is that how you want your children to feel about you? Obviously not, if it is an overhaul you are trying to make.

Whatever changes you desire to make you need a plan of action, not just the notion that you need a change. You need to figure out what your end goal is, and formulate a plan on how to get from point A to point B. And then you need to come up with a contingency plan, because you will need one at some point. Next, be real with yourself, you may fail, several times. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and try again. Try as many times as it takes until you get it right. Make as many plans as you need.

Seek support from friends and family. These people are here to lift you up, to inspire you. Any one that tears  you down with criticism need not be in your circle. Surround yourself with the people that are where you want to be, and become the best student ever. Stop trying to pretend you have it all together, you do not. No one has it ALL together. We are human, and to err is human.

Once you have found the support you need for change, there is another step in that process. Be the support for someone else. One of the best ways of learning something is to teach it. When you have your basic foundation, start looking to help those around you. You will feel inspired within yourself to do more, change more, do better, stay on track. You will also be inspiring others to make small changes which lead to big changes in their own lives. How awesome will it feel when you have not only accomplished your own goals but been a support for someone else to accomplish their own, and for them to support someone, and so on and so forth.

Life Changer???

Everyone has someone in their life that has made a profound impact. But, have you ever been told by someone that YOU are that person for them? It feels good, but it also comes with a little pressure to always be that influence.

What do you do in your friend's and family's lives that make you the life changing impact? Do you offer unmatched emotional support and guidance? Do you provide a lifestyle that allows for your loved ones to never worry about finances? You know what you do? Just be yourself. You be your best self, and that is the impact the people in your life need. We are all drawn to one another for a reason, yes, nothing is coincidental. Being your best self allows for your true purpose to shine through to others. Either you will inspire them, or support them, or teach them something.

Everyone in this world has something to offer. And everyone in this world has something to learn, something to gain from others. This makes our relationships symbiotic, each one gaining and giving in return. Sometimes, these relationships may feel one-sided. That just means you have to look deeper for the lesson. You have to examine the relationship closer in order to see what is not on the surface.

Even the most selfish of people teaches us something, even if it is as simple as how we do NOT want to be in our lives. Learning what not to do is as important as learning what TO do. It is just a different way of learning. Each of us impacts the universe. When you come across someone in a foul mood, do you not find yourself reacting in a foul way, at least at first? That person's negative attitude is testing you. Either you will adopt their example and feed into their negativity, or you will rise above. Either way, you have just been taught a lesson.

The person that falls prey to the negative Nelly learns that negativity is contagious and beware the attitude you spread to others. The positive Polly learns it takes effort to stay positive even in the face of adversity, and to never take a positive frame of mind for granted.

Either way, invaluable lessons have been learned.

So I ask you, how are you going to impact those around you today???

I Am Raising A Hoarder....

I am at my wits ends.  I have lectured, yelled, taken away things, etc.  I feel like there is something about my 8 year old that makes her inherently a hoarder.  She has a problem parting with anything, even pieces of paper.  I have never seen anything like this.  I have no explanation, no reason, no logic.  She seems almost emotionally attached to everything she owns. 

Today she was cleaning her room and asked me what to do with a large shoe box that she had decorated for her class Valentine's Day party.  VALENTINE'S DAY?!?!  I asked her if there was anything still in the box and she told me that there were the cards from her classmates.  I felt bad afterwards, but I just looked at her and said, "You have to throw this stuff away! You will get more cards from the same kids next year, THROW THEM AWAY." 

I was busy nursing the baby, so I asked the oldest sister, who is 10 to check on the room after she claimed to be finished cleaning.  Well, of course the warden found plenty wrong with it, but she was right!  There were wadded up tissues in an empty tissue box, pony tail holders randomly about, and just stuff. 

I immediately went looking to see if Hoarders was on television right that moment, sadly it was not.  I have it set to DVR now, because I explained to her that is where she is headed if she does not get this under control.  I guess I am hoping to scare her straight?!?!  I want her to see what an unhealthy obsession with stuff looks like.  I want her to see what happens when people cannot let go of things. I am not saying she WILL be a hoarder, but hey, it has to start somewhere. 

I do not know any other way to get through to her.  I asked my mother, that is how desperate I was.  She informs me that she herself was the same way as a child.  She said she eventually just grew out of it...ugh.  Okay, so I have some hope, a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel.  I mean my mom is a clean freak, so really, this does give me some solace. 

I am still going to give her a taste of Hoarders...scare her little butt straight. 

The Art of Being Mom is a Juggling Act.

The past few weeks have been hectic at best. Sometimes the roller coaster moments of parenthood can be exhausting.   I have this complex where I try to do more than I can actually handle.  This leads to exhaustion, and the repeated smacking upside my head of reality and what I can and cannot do.  There are times when I just have to say no, or come to terms with not being able to juggle everything at once.  

Prioritization and time management are a Moms best friend,  but life with kids sometimes throws that out the window.   Our best is all we can expect from ourselves,  and that is okay!!  One of the most important things we need in our lives is a great support network,  a cheering squad, a rock, a shoulder, whatever you name it, a support system is what it boils down to.  We need someone who loves us for us, accepts us for us, flaws and all. We need someone who is as dedicated to us as we are to them.  

Life is too short and precious to be spent feeling insecure, unhappy, and overwhelmed. We should enjoy our families, ourselves, our friends,  all the relationships in our lives. We should be happy, not miserable. We should have fun, and be responsible. We should teach our children how to be loving, independent,  responsible,  and silly.  Lead by example and the kids will follow.  Do not fall into that do as I say, not as I do frame of mind.

Live life to the fullest, never regreting any moment. Teach the children well...and they will blossom like flowers in a garden. 

Sooo It Happened Again.

Being a stay at home mom has some inherent BS that comes along with the title.  First and foremost is a feeling of complete and total disrespect from those that do not stay at home, would not stay at home, and think those of us that DO stay at home are lazy.  This happens more times than I care to even acknowledge.  It can come from other moms, from dads, husbands, neighbors, whomever.  It hurts, and I do not know if these people realize that how insulting they are being.

I get up between 5-6 every morning.  I start cleaning, making lunches for the kids, doing whatever household chores will need to get started.  I also make time to sit down and get online.  Yes, I really do.  Most of the rest of my day I will be chasing my toddler around while trying to clean my house, and teach her shapes and colors, cook for her, run errands, chauffer her sisters to and from school, etc.  So yes, I take some personal time and blog, check Facebook, whatever I want to do at O'dark thirty in the morning.

The rest of my day is centered around the tornado that is my toddler.  She does not like to nap, still nurses, and is a ball of energy.  I love her to the moon and back and would not trade a moment with her.  What I do trade is any sense of privacy, any hobby I had previously, any sense of freedom that I had without a toddler attached to my hip.  That is okay, I find my moments.  Yes, I wish they were longer and not at the ass crack of pre-dawn, but whatever.  I digress.

The last thing anyone in my life would call me is lazy.  I may take a lazy day on the weekend, or during the week and make up for it on the weekend, but I am one of the busiest people I know.  I manage my household.  I take the kids to school, pick them up, take care of any and all appointments that they need to be at.  I make their breakfasts and lunches, the hubby and I share dinner responsibilities.  We do not eat out.  I would say we have eaten out maybe 5 times in the last year...MAYBE.  We cook and eat at home.  It is time consuming, but it is our health we are talking about.

My house may not be IMMACULATE, but my mother in law tells me she has no idea how I keep up as much as I do and that she could not get done all that I do.  My friends tell me how clean and neat my house always is, and those two things together tell me I am doing a good job.  It may not meet everyone's standards, but have I mentioned the toddler that still nurses and does not nap??  Yeah, good luck....

My job is to manage a household.  My household runs relatively smoothly, without too many hiccups.  Sounds to me like I am a good manager....not a lazy, bon bon eating slug who sits around waiting for the house to clean itself. 

My 15 month old has an extensive vocabulary in both English and Spanish.  She knows sign language too.  She says please and thank you for everything.  Those things do not just happen.  Her stay at home mom makes them happen.  Could someone else teach my child these things, absolutely, but that would detract from our relationship, and bond her with someone else. 

I used to be a single, working mom, so please do not think I do not understand, I do.  I think it was easier then.  Yes, I said that.  I think it was easier for me then.  I cannot explain it, but I have other single Mom friends that have agreed with me, and others that think that statement is crazy.  But, I know I am not the only one who thinks it.

So the next time you see a stay at home mom and wonder what she does all day....smack yourself on the hand and give her a pat on the back for a job well done.

Parenting, It's A Full Time Gig...

On the weekends I watch Dr. Phil in the mornings.  I love his no nonsense approach to helping people.  I love the way he shoots from the hip, with the intention of helping people, but with the attitude that they can either take it or leave it. 

This morning he had on a mother of 5 that has no relationship with her older two daughters, a craked relationship with her second to youngest child, another daughter, and is considered the fun mom by her two sons.  She lets her sons throw parties in her home that involve underage drinking.  The police watch her house because she is notorious for having huge parties for the teens with alcohol included. 

It was heart breaking to me to hear her daughters say they just wanted a normal mom.  What exactly is a normal mom?  I wonder if I am a normal mom?  If I am not, do my kids wish I was more "normal?"  I hope not, because I am who I am, and I do my best to be the best mother I can to all three of them. 

Being a parent is not a "job," despite the title of my blog.  Being a parent is a choice, an obligation once that choice is made.  It is both the most rewarding, and difficult relationship on planet Earth.  When the position is taken as seriously as it should be, parenting is the most time consuming, emotion consuming, worrysome, tiresome, rewarding position ever.  I really wish parents would more often stop and consider what parenting really involves. 

We parents are raising, teaching, guiding, rearing the future of our society.  We are enabling, empowering, molding, shaping the adults that will decide our futures as well as their own.  We are raising the future doctors, lawyers, politicians, teachers, mechanics of the world.  Somewhere out there a parent is raising a child that will grow up and murder people, is there something in their parenting that could prevent that path?  Maybe, maybe not.  Ultimately, when people reach adulthood they are responsible for their own actions.  But we parents influence every aspect of our children's lives. 

The way we parent influences how our children will make decisions, how they will eat, how they will be in relationships, how they study in school, how they drive a car.  Parenting is the biggest, most important position of anyone's life.  A parent should never, EVER take it lightly.  Will we screw up, certainly, we are human and to err is human, right?!?!  But here is the key, let your kids see you screw up AND take responsibility for your own actions.  TEACH your kids how to be good adults, BY LEADING THROUGH EXAMPLE. 

Devote yourself to yourself and your kids over and over again every day.  Commit to doing the best for your family and yourself every single day. 

Reach out to those in need.  Reach out to that pregnant teen in your neighborhood, help her be a better mother, help her parents help her.  Guide not only your own kids, but every child that comes into contact with your own. 

Love those children, spend time with them, and guide them in order to help them grow into adults that are responsible, funny, healthy, and HAPPY. 

Join me on a little ride...

You know I often consider myself to be positive and uplifting, especially on here where I do not want to come off like some crazy b*tch.  But every now and then the need arises for some realness.  I think that time is now.  So join me on a little ride through the real world.

Instead of posting all the niceties that a good little mommy should post, I intend on keeping things very real.  I will probably give opinions that many do not agree with, and you can feel free to share your opinions as well.

Instead of trying so much to use this blog as a nice way to earn a little money, I am going to just do what I set out to do in the beginning, speak my mind, express my opinions, and let the creative juices flow.

So please, buckle up, it might get bumpy around here...but it is going to be a fun ride nonetheless.

New Year's Resolutions

I am typically not a New Year's resolution type of person.  I usually just treat it like any other day, make myself stay up until midnight, say happy new year, and move on with my life.  This year I am going to make a couple of modifications to that routine.  I am going to put some goals out here, goal, not resolutions per se.

This year, I will find my niche.  Whether it is making jewelry, as an Independent Consultant with Arbonne, blogging, etc.  Whatever avenue I am destined to be pursuing, I will figure it out this year. 

I will be weaning my youngest this year.  She will be two years old in September, and it will be time at some point this year.  I have loved nursing her for an extended period, but I am really starting to want my body back. 

Speaking of my body....yeah, that ole thang.  I will commit to losing the last 10-15 pounds I want to lose this year.  For once and for all I will figure out how to combine diet and exercise instead of mastering them separately at different times.  I will combine the two for the body I always knew I had inside.

I am going to keep in better contact with family and friends.  It is hard when almost everyone is at a distance.  There are only so many hours in a day that I am available to talk on the phone.

And in that sentiment, I am going to increase my circle of local friends.  I am going to join MOMS Club in my area, and meet some new people with little ones the same age as my littlest princess. 

I am going to continue to work to make the situation between myself and my ex better.  That is a two way street, so I know I can only do so much to change things.  But I am going to do what I know is my best, so that I can continue to sleep well at night, well at least as far as that issue is concerned.

I vow to speak up more, and ask for help when I know I need it.  It is okay to stumble, it is okay to fall flat on my face.  As long as I pick myself up, dust myself off, and ask for a hand when I need it.  I am not Superwoman, and I will stop pretending that I am.

I will continue to work on bettering communication with my hubby.  Things are really good now, we seem to have a good system in place, and I will continue to do my part to keep things moving in a good direction so that we may always be a good example to ourselves and our kids on what a relationship should look like.

There are so many specific things I want for this year....more financial freedom, less stress, more creative endeavors, less drama.  I am sure of one thing, whatever is meant to happen, WILL HAPPEN. 

Happy New Year everyone.  I hope all of our dreams come true. 

The Lament of the Stay at Home Mom (or Dad)

I was just thinking about the way stay at home parents are regarded in society.  I feel like because I am at home people think that I have more time in my day than anyone else.  No, I still have the same seconds, minutes, and hours as anyone.  I just have several different types of activities I have to cram into that time efficiently.

I hear it all over the place, "Well, since you stay at home, you can do...." and, "It must be nice to be at home and not have to work."  Or one of my favorites, "I wish I could stay at home and do nothing."  Yes, me too.  Well, actually I do not wish to do nothing, that would be a lonely and boring existence.  I have to say though, my days are full.  I have two kids in school, and I try to volunteer there as often as possible.  I have a toddler at home who does not nap much, so she is with me almost all day.  She is precocious, and adorable, and active.  My day is full just with taking care of her, feeding her, nursing her, teaching her, molding her into a good and decent human being. 

That does not account for the time I spend with the admittedly neglected dog.  He is now acting like a toddler because he sees that type of behavior gets everyone's attention.  I am currently trying to communicate to him that he is not cute enough to get away with it, a point on which we do not see eye to eye.

Then there is the housework that I desperately try to stay on top of, and sometimes I succeed with flying colors, and other times I crash and burn.  There are the errands, school projects, chauffering the kids to their Dad's house and back on the weekends. 

I know some of you are saying, "Yeah well I do all that and I have a full time job."  To that I say, somewhere, somehow, someone is picking up some part of your life.  Whether it is childcare taking care of your child all day, a maid coming to help with housework, eating out more often because you are too tired to cook dinner.  Whatever it is, I say, there is a HUGE difference. 

I put a lot on myself, my husband will be the first one to tell anyone that.  I often feel like a huge financial burden, having to ask for money for things, when I used to be a single working mom I was the bank.  I controlled all income and spending.  I do not wish to control everything now, but I feel like I traded a piece of my independence to be at home.

So how did I conbat that?  I started a home business...go ahead, get the giggles out...I am currently an Independent Consultant for Arbonne, which is an amazing company with great products.  But my problem is finding the time, support, and did I mention time in which to do what I want with my fledgling business.  This company has amazing perks, products, and people.  I want nothing more than to make my business wildly successful.  But I cannot devote the time that I need to, why?  Because I will not allow myself to take that time from my family.  That is why.  That is it in a nutshell.  I will work around it as best I can until the baby gets older and I can devote more time to running a business. 

Stay at home parents often get a raw deal.  People have a tendancy to look down on us, like we are just lounging around doing nothing all day in the lap of luxury.  When in reality, sometimes I feel like I work in a sweat shop....but I would not trade it for the world.  I love my family, and all I really want is there unconditional love and acceptance in return. 

Real Illness or Hypochondriac?!?!

I am not sure if any of you out there have a child like mine, but I often have a hard time determining whether or not my middle child is actually sick or is being a hypochondriac.  She has always complained a lot of various things hurting her or not feeling well.  Most of the time just asking a few questions and paying a little special attention to her heals whatever is really ailing her, which I often think is middle child syndrome. 

Lately she has been complaining on and off of stomach aches.  She has complained a couple times that she has thrown up, but no one saw her, heard anything, and she was completely fine directly following her apparent vomitting episode.  But this past Sunday I finally got my proof that there is something going on. 

I picked the girls up from their dad's house, and upon arriving at home they got ready for bed.  A few minutes after bed time she came into my bedroom and complained that she had thrown up.  My husband got her settled back into bed, since I was nursing the baby.  The next morning I found some residue on the toilet seat.  She had eaten stuffed shells, so it was tinged red....which at first freaked me out until I questioned what she had eaten.  So, now I KNOW she has actually thrown up at least one time.

We have a doctor appointment this morning, and I am a little nervous.  My mother thinks it is a gall bladder issue.  I wonder if it is not something like reflux.  It seems like it is always something for her.  She has terrible allergy issues, she is a teeny tiny little thing, she has a double astigmatism, and is very near sighted, etc.  She is absolutely the sweetest, most loving, affectionate, emotional child around.  She will love anyone and everyone she meets.  I feel bad that often when she is complaining about not feeling well, "Mommy, my toe hurts, and my ear hurts, and my side hurts and my finger hurts," that I feel it is mostly attention seeking.  Her grandmother tells me her dad was the same way as a kid.

I just want my baby to be okay.  She is 8 but she will always be my baby.  So if you say prayers, can you say a little one for my sweet pea.  We would both be very appreciative.

Am I Made Of Silly Putty?!?!

Today I feel like I am being pulled in 12 different directions.  We are down to one car, we have Christmas programs, Christmas shopping, moms coming in to town within the week, I have had to drive the kids to their dads and back (which is an 80 mile round trip venture), nursing a toddler, chasing a toddler, trying to clean the house, AAAAHHHHH!!!!

Today is one of those days that the Art of Being Mom looks like a Pablo Picasso painting on crack.  I am writing this while nursing the baby to sleep, talk about multi-tasking.  I have to go pick up Christmas cards, pick up the kids, pick up the hubby, dinner, get the kids dressed and ready for the Christmas program tonight, make myself presentable, toddler, hubby can definitely dress himself thank God. 

I just feel very stressed, and like I am unable to enjoy this time of year.  With all the running and chasing, and doing and going, I feel like I cannot even enjoy what this season is supposed to be about.  I need a break.  Maybe I need to just start earlier, like March.

I hate to sound like a BAH HUMBUG, but sometimes, that is how I feel.  Of course that all changes when I look at my kids and see how excited they are for Christmas to get here. 

Okay, baby asleep, check!  Now, to lay her down for a nap and grab a shower....I hope that smell isnt me, I am pretty sure it is the dog...another task for my ever growing TO DO LIST. 

Co-sleeping....

What we do with our 15 month old is what I call modified co-sleeping.  She naps every day in her own bed.  At night she sleeps mostly in our bed.  Last night she slept the whole night in our bed.  After the happenings of yesterday I needed the extra snuggle of my littlest angel.  I just had to listen to her breathing, see her chest moving up and down while she slept, just know that she was okay lying there next to me. 

Typically, she wakes up frequently.  She wakes up every 1-2 hours.  I start her off in her bed, and then at some point I move her to our bed so that she can continue to nurse and I can get some sleep.  I love her snuggly little self, but I also love having my spot back in the bed.  It's a tug of war every night.  At first I was being given greatly divided advice on co-sleeping.  I turned to Dr. Sears for information.   Upon reading the information I was so happy that I am NOT in fact screwing my child up forever.  I am NOT going to smother her, thank God.  She will actually be perfectly happy and healthy. 

That being said, I am working on getting her out of my bed.  Why?  Well, as I mentioned before I am not getting as good sleep as I was before her.  I have about half the space in the bed, which leads to me being awakened mroe frequently.  I have sleep issues to begin with so this is just adding to my sleep deprivation. 

I stay at home, and thus, am with my little one all day.  So being all day, and all night, I am having a little trouble with not having any time that is alone time.  Not that I would be alone, my hubby is in the bed too.  But I need to feel like I am not constantly in Mommy mode, even if I am.  It's psychological really.  But it is my reason and therefor valid enough. 

So there are benefits to co-sleeping.  Better sleep for parent and baby (I am the odd mommy out in this one apparently), better physiology for baby, decrease in SIDS, and better emotional health.  No one says co-sleeping is necessary for a well developed child.  But co-sleeping is certainly not detrimental to a baby's health and well being.

Co-sleeping is a personal, parenting choice.  I choose to do modified co-sleeping, and that works for our family. 

Arrogance VS. Confidence

There is a fine line between arrogance and confidence.  How we define that line is a bit muddied, and how we keep our kids on the right side of that line can sometimes be difficult.  I think it is important to keep kids humble, but still proud of themselves.  They should know their shortcomings, but more so know and be proud of their strengths. 

My oldest daughter has ears that stick out, straight out.  She is well aware of this, we have discussed it in great length.  It is how God made her, how she was intended to be, and what gives her a uniqueness.  She is comfortable in her own body, and thus, when anyone says anything about her ears her response is usually, "Yes, I have big ears, and what?"  She makes it a non-issue.  That takes the helium out of any potential bully's balloon, really fast!  She has taken control of something that could otherwise bring her some grief in her life.  Instead of hiding them, having surgery, or whatever else, I taught her to embrace them, but never become arrogant about it.  She doesn't make fun of anyone else proverbial big ears, she treats people as she wishes to be treated. 

I was born with a birth defect leaving me missing one finger on each hand.  I was ridiculed as a child.  I did not know which way to turn.  I internalized every comment anyone made.  I grew up fearful, self loathing, and very sad.  There is absolutely no reason that anyone should grow up that way, especially in this day and age of technology. 

I raise my kids by the Golden Rule.  Do Unto Others As You Would Have Done Unto You.  I do not buy into that, "boys will be boys," or "girls will be girls" crap.  No, human beings will be human beings.  I teach my girls not only how to treat people, but also, how to handle the treatment that may be put unto them.  I am well aware of how things can affect the psyche of young girls, been there done that.  So I take an active role in making sure that these girls do not internalize things the way I did. 

As I said in the beginning, there is a fine line between arrogance and confidence.  It is a balancing act, constantly, with no net.  The moment our confidence makes someone else feel poorly about themselves, the line has been crossed and we are now walking through the arrogance field. 

Take care in teaching our children how to be in our society today.  Take care of their mental well being, their emotional well being, but still teach them inner strength.  Let them know about our own internal struggles, it helps them feel more attached to us, and to open up a little more.  My girls have seen me cry, have heard me yell, but most of all, have seen me smile and laugh through it all.  Be human in front of our children, so they learn how to be human in such an inhumane world.

Family Fun Night

              So last night was Family Fun Night at the girls' school. I took all three girls. The hubby stayed home, he wasn't feeling up to par, and had a really long day so I told him to just sit this one out and hang at home.  

Since coming to this school I have had a little bit of a hard time making friends.  I have made plenty of acquaintances, but real friends have been a little bit of an issue.  It's hard when you're coming into a group where most of the people have known each other for years, often the duration of the lives of their children.  Being the new Mom in town can make for a rough transition. 

Last night I talked to a few Moms that I see all the time, a few a rarely get a chance to speak with and even one or two that I have never met.  We were only there for a couple hours, but the girls had a blast, and I enjoyed the socializing.  I guess it was a success since my family had fun!

It did remind me though of how hard it has been to crack into this social scene.  It takes me right back to school when I would move and be the new kid.  It was so scary and intimidating to make new friends.  I am much more outgoing now than I was as a child and STILL it seems so frustrating.

Nevertheless, I had some great conversation last night, chatted up a friend about some fierce new shoes she was rockin', and the girls had a blast....so it was a success!

Personal Growth

We all have some part of ourselves that needs work, some sort of baggage.  Whether from our childhoods, a physical impairment, emotional one, etc.  Everyone has something.  When we find outselves in a relationship we have to look at that other person and ask, "Is there 'something' a thing I can live with forever?"  If the answer is yes, then we have a potential life long relationship.  If the answer is no, then there are some serious questions we need to ask ourselves about why we are with that person, and for how long we intend on wasting everyone's time. 

The thing about having personal issues is that whatever they are, the owner of the issues should be working on them.  Rome wasn't built in a day, but it was built!  I think it is very important that regardless of whatever issues we are willing to live with, we should all be striving to grow beyond those issues, with the help and support of our mate, family, friends. 

It is wonderful to accept people for who they are, it is vitally important, but it is equally important to be a support to them as they grow and learn more about themselves, life, human nature, whatever they need to learn about in order to grow. 

Life is about change, growth, learning.  Life is our teacher, and it is up to us to be the best students we can be.  Don't throw your education down the toilet by getting caught up in the baggage of your life, and not working on yourself every day. 

No one will treat you better than you treat yourself, that is my Dr. Philism of the day.  But it is true, if you treat yourself like you are a worthless piece of crap, why would anyone treat you any differently. 

Love yourself enough to find your self worth, and care for yourself like you would a newborn baby.  Don't neglect or abuse your body or your mind, they are the only ones you get in this lifetime, and they really need you to thrive.