Arrogance VS. Confidence

There is a fine line between arrogance and confidence.  How we define that line is a bit muddied, and how we keep our kids on the right side of that line can sometimes be difficult.  I think it is important to keep kids humble, but still proud of themselves.  They should know their shortcomings, but more so know and be proud of their strengths. 

My oldest daughter has ears that stick out, straight out.  She is well aware of this, we have discussed it in great length.  It is how God made her, how she was intended to be, and what gives her a uniqueness.  She is comfortable in her own body, and thus, when anyone says anything about her ears her response is usually, "Yes, I have big ears, and what?"  She makes it a non-issue.  That takes the helium out of any potential bully's balloon, really fast!  She has taken control of something that could otherwise bring her some grief in her life.  Instead of hiding them, having surgery, or whatever else, I taught her to embrace them, but never become arrogant about it.  She doesn't make fun of anyone else proverbial big ears, she treats people as she wishes to be treated. 

I was born with a birth defect leaving me missing one finger on each hand.  I was ridiculed as a child.  I did not know which way to turn.  I internalized every comment anyone made.  I grew up fearful, self loathing, and very sad.  There is absolutely no reason that anyone should grow up that way, especially in this day and age of technology. 

I raise my kids by the Golden Rule.  Do Unto Others As You Would Have Done Unto You.  I do not buy into that, "boys will be boys," or "girls will be girls" crap.  No, human beings will be human beings.  I teach my girls not only how to treat people, but also, how to handle the treatment that may be put unto them.  I am well aware of how things can affect the psyche of young girls, been there done that.  So I take an active role in making sure that these girls do not internalize things the way I did. 

As I said in the beginning, there is a fine line between arrogance and confidence.  It is a balancing act, constantly, with no net.  The moment our confidence makes someone else feel poorly about themselves, the line has been crossed and we are now walking through the arrogance field. 

Take care in teaching our children how to be in our society today.  Take care of their mental well being, their emotional well being, but still teach them inner strength.  Let them know about our own internal struggles, it helps them feel more attached to us, and to open up a little more.  My girls have seen me cry, have heard me yell, but most of all, have seen me smile and laugh through it all.  Be human in front of our children, so they learn how to be human in such an inhumane world.

Don't Dress Your Daughters Like Hookers.....Good Advice...

A couple Mom friends of mine "liked" this article through Facebook the other day, so I pulled it up and took a read.  I had to laugh and yet, feel sad at the same time.  I see sooo many young, really YOUNG girls out there dressing in very provocative clothing.  My oldest daughter is 8, and has no interest in anything sex related at all.  And, no I am not just being delusional.  I can see the difference in her and other girls her age.  What do I attribute the difference to??  Well, part of it I attribute to her diet, no wait, really!  I give my girls organic milk and organic whatever else I can whenever I can, but especially MILK, meats, cheeses.  I do my very best to avoid pumping the added hormones into their bodies, and THAT is what I believe makes a big difference.  Secondly, like this article advises, I don't dress them like tramps.  I don't draw attention to their rear ends with putting words like JUICY on their butt, or anything of the sort.  I let them pick out their clothes, and I have total veto power.  They go to Catholic School so they wear uniforms to school, but outside of that, they wear what they want.  Neither of my girls has ever been put into an itty bitty bikini, nor will they while I can stop it.  I do not want to objectify my daughters in any way to any body.  They have plenty of time in their lives to be sexual beings with someone who loves and respects them first.  At 8 and 6 years old, the last thing they need is male attention, unless it is the love, devotion, and parental guidance coming from their Dad or Stepdad. 

Please, don't dress your daughters like tramps.