Teething Hell

I cannot fathom the pain my little bit is in right now.  She is currently cutting about 4-5 teeth.  I have given Motrin, Hylands teething tablets, and vodka...the vodka was for me, not her.  I can see the teeth, just below the surface of her gums, sitting there, wreaking havoc with no regard to her discomfort or my sleeplessness.  At night she is sleep talking, and sleep kicking the living bejeebies out of me.  You know it is serious when the actual bejeebies get kicked out of you. there is no recovering from that. 

She is sitting in my lap right now, just sitting here in her Motrin haze. I feel so bad for her, and by her I really mean me.  Well, her too, mostly her, and a little bit me.  I feel like there is nothing I can do to take the pain away, and I cannot help force the teeth through, and the worst part....there are more teeth to come.

I think this may be the worst phase of childhood....teething.  There is no telling when it will stop, when they will cut through the gum finally.  There is no explaining to a toddler what is going on, and why Mommy cannot make it better.  She is just stuck, in teething Hell....and I am there with her. 

So, my prescription....extra snuggles, extra cuddles, and extra boobie, since those are a few of her favorite things.  Oh yeah, and I let her play with my cell phone....I think she called the Canadian Mounted Police or something, but they cannot help her either.  So she babbled something incoherent and hung up on them.  I tried to tell her they would not send Dudley Do Right, but she did not listen to me, eh.

Okay, so we are off to try to get something accomplished, even if that something is just  a nap for the tired toddler of the house.  Teething, who needs it...I mean you just end your life gumming your food all over again anyway.

The Art of Being Mom is a Juggling Act.

The past few weeks have been hectic at best. Sometimes the roller coaster moments of parenthood can be exhausting.   I have this complex where I try to do more than I can actually handle.  This leads to exhaustion, and the repeated smacking upside my head of reality and what I can and cannot do.  There are times when I just have to say no, or come to terms with not being able to juggle everything at once.  

Prioritization and time management are a Moms best friend,  but life with kids sometimes throws that out the window.   Our best is all we can expect from ourselves,  and that is okay!!  One of the most important things we need in our lives is a great support network,  a cheering squad, a rock, a shoulder, whatever you name it, a support system is what it boils down to.  We need someone who loves us for us, accepts us for us, flaws and all. We need someone who is as dedicated to us as we are to them.  

Life is too short and precious to be spent feeling insecure, unhappy, and overwhelmed. We should enjoy our families, ourselves, our friends,  all the relationships in our lives. We should be happy, not miserable. We should have fun, and be responsible. We should teach our children how to be loving, independent,  responsible,  and silly.  Lead by example and the kids will follow.  Do not fall into that do as I say, not as I do frame of mind.

Live life to the fullest, never regreting any moment. Teach the children well...and they will blossom like flowers in a garden. 

See No Evil, Speak No Evil, Hear No Evil?!?!

What do you do when you see a parent completely screwing up their child in public?  I once watched a dad in the doctor's office call his 2 year old son a "sissy," because he was crying...because he did not feel well.  Hello, you are in the doctor's office for the sick kid, he is allowed to not feel well.  The mother jumped up and yelled at the dad and then took the boy and moved to the other side of the waiting room.  I was privately cheering with mental pom poms as she did.  I was also wondering how long THAT relationship would last. 

I have seen many a parent threatening their children in the stores, grocery stores, toy stores, department stores, where ever.  I have heard more moms count to three than I can even count.  Only to get to the number of desperation and have the child still acting out.  Then what?  They have called your bluff, and now???  I have seen a mom smacking her child for telling her no.  The minute she saw me and realized that she had been seen, she scooped him up and started hugging and kissing him. 

So what do you do when you see some bad parenting going on?  Do you say something?  Does it depend on how bad it is?  Does it depend on whether or not you know them?  What is the protocal? 

I feel like we have an obligation to all children to keep them safe.  I think it is a personal decision as to what the point of needing to get involved is reached. 

Sooo It Happened Again.

Being a stay at home mom has some inherent BS that comes along with the title.  First and foremost is a feeling of complete and total disrespect from those that do not stay at home, would not stay at home, and think those of us that DO stay at home are lazy.  This happens more times than I care to even acknowledge.  It can come from other moms, from dads, husbands, neighbors, whomever.  It hurts, and I do not know if these people realize that how insulting they are being.

I get up between 5-6 every morning.  I start cleaning, making lunches for the kids, doing whatever household chores will need to get started.  I also make time to sit down and get online.  Yes, I really do.  Most of the rest of my day I will be chasing my toddler around while trying to clean my house, and teach her shapes and colors, cook for her, run errands, chauffer her sisters to and from school, etc.  So yes, I take some personal time and blog, check Facebook, whatever I want to do at O'dark thirty in the morning.

The rest of my day is centered around the tornado that is my toddler.  She does not like to nap, still nurses, and is a ball of energy.  I love her to the moon and back and would not trade a moment with her.  What I do trade is any sense of privacy, any hobby I had previously, any sense of freedom that I had without a toddler attached to my hip.  That is okay, I find my moments.  Yes, I wish they were longer and not at the ass crack of pre-dawn, but whatever.  I digress.

The last thing anyone in my life would call me is lazy.  I may take a lazy day on the weekend, or during the week and make up for it on the weekend, but I am one of the busiest people I know.  I manage my household.  I take the kids to school, pick them up, take care of any and all appointments that they need to be at.  I make their breakfasts and lunches, the hubby and I share dinner responsibilities.  We do not eat out.  I would say we have eaten out maybe 5 times in the last year...MAYBE.  We cook and eat at home.  It is time consuming, but it is our health we are talking about.

My house may not be IMMACULATE, but my mother in law tells me she has no idea how I keep up as much as I do and that she could not get done all that I do.  My friends tell me how clean and neat my house always is, and those two things together tell me I am doing a good job.  It may not meet everyone's standards, but have I mentioned the toddler that still nurses and does not nap??  Yeah, good luck....

My job is to manage a household.  My household runs relatively smoothly, without too many hiccups.  Sounds to me like I am a good manager....not a lazy, bon bon eating slug who sits around waiting for the house to clean itself. 

My 15 month old has an extensive vocabulary in both English and Spanish.  She knows sign language too.  She says please and thank you for everything.  Those things do not just happen.  Her stay at home mom makes them happen.  Could someone else teach my child these things, absolutely, but that would detract from our relationship, and bond her with someone else. 

I used to be a single, working mom, so please do not think I do not understand, I do.  I think it was easier then.  Yes, I said that.  I think it was easier for me then.  I cannot explain it, but I have other single Mom friends that have agreed with me, and others that think that statement is crazy.  But, I know I am not the only one who thinks it.

So the next time you see a stay at home mom and wonder what she does all day....smack yourself on the hand and give her a pat on the back for a job well done.

Some Kid Funnies...

Please feel free to share your own kid funnies...

My daughter used to think that the words to Adele's "Chasing Pavements," went like this, "Should I give up, or should I just keep chasing penguins? Even if it leads nowhere."  Now, we sing it her way.

In our house, the song, "Arizona" goes like this, "Arizona!  That's where el coucho lives."  Yes, we know that el coucho is wrong on many levels, and that it has nothing to do with Arizona, the song, or anything related.  But we love it anyway.

The song "Jimmy Mack."  Well, in our home, we eat a pasta dish we call chili mac.  My husband used to sing the song "Jimmy Mack" but replace the Jimmy with Chili.  One day, while watching the Music Channel the real song came on.  My daughter was shocked to find out the real song, the fact that it has nothing to do with dinner, and is still offended that my husband lied to her. 

Several times a week while going in and out of the rooms upstairs our dog gets trapped in a closet somewhere.  We all play find the Tai Tai, by following his barks.  But he stops barking whenever someone enters the room he is in, thus making it nearly impossible to really find him. 

The toddler in the house mimicks everything.  If she does not stop saying, "Oh sh*t," we may really be in trouble when she goes to preschool.

My toddler knows how to work my tablet better than her Daddy. 

Last night the baby went over to the dog, opened her own mouth really wide and went in for a kiss....he licked her open mouth.  She then got pucker face, and I hope she will now listen when I say he has caca mouth. 

That is all for now.  I love my girls, all three of them.  They are in different stages, and keeping on my toes for all of them can be a challenge.  Thankfully they offer me enough humor to make it all wonderful. 

Parenting, It's A Full Time Gig...

On the weekends I watch Dr. Phil in the mornings.  I love his no nonsense approach to helping people.  I love the way he shoots from the hip, with the intention of helping people, but with the attitude that they can either take it or leave it. 

This morning he had on a mother of 5 that has no relationship with her older two daughters, a craked relationship with her second to youngest child, another daughter, and is considered the fun mom by her two sons.  She lets her sons throw parties in her home that involve underage drinking.  The police watch her house because she is notorious for having huge parties for the teens with alcohol included. 

It was heart breaking to me to hear her daughters say they just wanted a normal mom.  What exactly is a normal mom?  I wonder if I am a normal mom?  If I am not, do my kids wish I was more "normal?"  I hope not, because I am who I am, and I do my best to be the best mother I can to all three of them. 

Being a parent is not a "job," despite the title of my blog.  Being a parent is a choice, an obligation once that choice is made.  It is both the most rewarding, and difficult relationship on planet Earth.  When the position is taken as seriously as it should be, parenting is the most time consuming, emotion consuming, worrysome, tiresome, rewarding position ever.  I really wish parents would more often stop and consider what parenting really involves. 

We parents are raising, teaching, guiding, rearing the future of our society.  We are enabling, empowering, molding, shaping the adults that will decide our futures as well as their own.  We are raising the future doctors, lawyers, politicians, teachers, mechanics of the world.  Somewhere out there a parent is raising a child that will grow up and murder people, is there something in their parenting that could prevent that path?  Maybe, maybe not.  Ultimately, when people reach adulthood they are responsible for their own actions.  But we parents influence every aspect of our children's lives. 

The way we parent influences how our children will make decisions, how they will eat, how they will be in relationships, how they study in school, how they drive a car.  Parenting is the biggest, most important position of anyone's life.  A parent should never, EVER take it lightly.  Will we screw up, certainly, we are human and to err is human, right?!?!  But here is the key, let your kids see you screw up AND take responsibility for your own actions.  TEACH your kids how to be good adults, BY LEADING THROUGH EXAMPLE. 

Devote yourself to yourself and your kids over and over again every day.  Commit to doing the best for your family and yourself every single day. 

Reach out to those in need.  Reach out to that pregnant teen in your neighborhood, help her be a better mother, help her parents help her.  Guide not only your own kids, but every child that comes into contact with your own. 

Love those children, spend time with them, and guide them in order to help them grow into adults that are responsible, funny, healthy, and HAPPY. 

Join me on a little ride...

You know I often consider myself to be positive and uplifting, especially on here where I do not want to come off like some crazy b*tch.  But every now and then the need arises for some realness.  I think that time is now.  So join me on a little ride through the real world.

Instead of posting all the niceties that a good little mommy should post, I intend on keeping things very real.  I will probably give opinions that many do not agree with, and you can feel free to share your opinions as well.

Instead of trying so much to use this blog as a nice way to earn a little money, I am going to just do what I set out to do in the beginning, speak my mind, express my opinions, and let the creative juices flow.

So please, buckle up, it might get bumpy around here...but it is going to be a fun ride nonetheless.

Interviewed For The Washington Post Magazine.

EXTRA! EXTRA!  READ ALL ABOUT IT!!!


I was recently interviewed by Janice D'Arcy for an article about the division of labor in parenting.  She wrote a fabulous 4 page article about co-parenting, and the division of labor in regards to raising children. 

My two cents amounted to this,

 “I think feminism is one of the worst things for women, because we had totally mastered Donna Reed, home cooking and taking care of the kids thing, and then we ventured out into the workplace, which is great and all, and sent the message that women can do it all,” says Jaime Vargas-Benitez, a mother of three in Alexandria. She says she tried that model in her first marriage, but the stress took too deep a toll. In her second marriage, she and her husband decided to revert to the traditional dynamic. “We made the necessary sacrifices so I could stay home. ... In terms of kids, the division of labor is 90 percent me and 10 percent my husband.” It is working so well, she says, that she looks around incredulously at others who are trying to reinvent the wheel.

 

 

For those of you that think I must be one heck of a moron for saying feminism is one of the worst things to have happened to women, let me explain.  I believe in moderation, in all things.  I believe that women can have it all, but that it takes a family, a village, to raise children.  My mom was a single mom for a good while, she also was remarried.  A single mom does not raise her child/children by herself.  Somewhere along the way those kids are interacting with others, teachers, day care providers, family, friends. 

 

I believe that feminism gave women the belief that they HAD to be able to do EVERYTHING by themselves.  It gave women the notion that they should be able to not only manage the household, but that they should also be able to do so while having a career.  More importantly, I believe feminism gave women the idea that they should be able to do all these things and not have to sacrifice in any field.  That women should be able to work all day, have a clean house, drive the kids to school, soccer practice, cook healthy dinners, and still have something left at the end of the day to be a sex kitten for their hubby.  Now, I don't know about anyone else but I was exhausted by just typing all that. 

 

I believe that one parent should be home, all the time.  I believe that whenever possible children should be with one or both of their parents.  Now of course there are always extenuating circumstances, I know that.  But ideally, kids need their parents, always. 

 

I believe that feminism made women feel like asking for help from their counterpart meant showing weakness, showing insecurity, when in reality it says, "Hey, we made this family together, so can you help a sister out with some laundry?!?!" 

 

THAT is my point.  Men and women should work together in the house and out.  In my case, my husband makes more than enough for me to stay home, so the predominance of the housework and child rearing falls on me.  I am VERY okay with that.  I just make sure that I have some outlet...hi, have we met, this is my outlet right here. 

 

There needs to be balance in any home, in any person's life, not just women.  I believe in equality, absolutely, but I do not believe that equality, true equality was the outcome of feminism.  I believe it tipped the scales to the extreme in our society.  It was a campfire that slowly burned out of control until it no longer served to keep the people by it warm, but made them run screaming to avoid getting burned. 

 

I welcome your opinions, and would love to hear what you have to say about the article....I think it is a great read!!!

 

 



To Stay Home, Or Not To Stay Home....

This is always a tough question for me, regarding when to let the kids stay home when they do not feel well.  I have two polar opposites when it comes to my school age girls.  One stays healthy pretty much all the time, and suffers most from stress.  She is home today, not feeling well.  My other school ager suffers daily from allergy issues, sinus pressure, general stuffiness and constant issues, she is at school today. 

The younger one is currently on medication for an ear infection, and I have to say I completely expected her to want to stay home when she found out that her older sister was staying home.  She did not, kudos to her.  She packed her backpack, gave me her rundown of the 10 things that hurt or are bothering her (she is a bit of a hypochondriac), and hopped into the car to go to school. 

The older sister got up, looked like she was not wanting to go anywhere but back to bed, and started getting ready for school.  The baby and I went up to check on everyone, and upon entering her room she became wet eyed and proclaimed she did not feel well and wanted to stay home.  She was dressed for school except for one sock.  She proceeded to climb into her bed, one sock still off and pull the covers up over her head.  I hemmed and hawed, and felt her forehead.  She felt a little warm, but probably from being under the covers.  I let her stay home.  She said her head, sinuses, and stomach hurt.  She took a nap and seems okay now, although she is still tired.

I went back and forth in my head over whether to make her get up, take something, and go to school, or just let her stay in bed...the staying in bed won.  When she reaches the point of not wanting to go to school, whether she is really sick or not, she really is not well.  Maybe she just needs a mental health day, maybe she really is sick.  I cannot be sure.  But either way, I let her stay home.

If they other one had asked to stay home would I have let her?  I cannot say for sure.  That sounds terrible right?!?!  They are so different.  The younger of the two would stay home every day and in her pajamas all day if I let her.  The older one stresses about missing school because of what she will have to make up. 

What do you use as your parental parameters regarding when you let your kids stay home?  Is it the same across the board for all the kids in the house? 

She just coughed, maybe that is her token symptom trying to convince me she really did need to be home today due to illness....or she just had to clear her throat.

Money Saving Tips

Who does not want to save a few $$$ here and there, and everywhere!!  I know as a family of five with a single income it can be tight sometimes.  Especially following a time like Christmas, where spending seems to skyrocket even when you have a budget and do your best to stick to it. 

I have some money saving tips I would love to share, as well as asking you to post your tips in the comments section.  Any and all sharing of good information is always welcome.! 

One thing I have done is to download the grocery store apps on to my tablet.  Often they have electronic coupons on the app, and they keep track of what you typically purchase, so the coupons are geared towards what you actually buy.  Safeway goes one step further and puts the coupons directly on to your rewards card, so the second you scan your card at check out all the items you have coupons for are discounted by the value of the coupon.  Couponing was never easier than that!  I find since I spend a good deal of time online that online couponing is great, and actually helps me use those coupons, instead of clipping them only to be forgotten behind in my little organizer.  Let's face it, when trying to leave the house with a toddler and often the two older kids in tow, it is hard to remember my name, let alone the coupon organizer.  Having these money savers available electronically is a great help, and just shows that even the grocery stores need to evolve into the new age.  I signed up at sites like Red Plum that email me the coupon inserts that are received in the mail.  If I need to print them out I can.  But I only print the ones I intend to use, and bypass the others. 

I also sign up for email coupons at sites that I typically shop at for the kids clothing, like Kohls and Target.  I use the online coupons, and shop their sales to get the most for my money.  The other day between sales, coupons, and Kohl's cash I was able to get a jacket that retailed for $180 for $20.  I literally did a happy dance in the store.  I know couponing itself is no new idea.  But my point is that we need to become smart shoppers, not just shopping with coupons, but also finding the sales that go along with the coupons, and utilizing every deal possible to get the most bang for your buck. 

Another option that may not be all that popular is becoming a one car family.  For families that live in large cities this may not even matter if they do not own a car to begin with, but for us suburb dwellers a car is necessary to be able to adequately function.  I am a stay at home mom.  We are usually a two car family, but we are down to one car temporarily.  It has been a huge adjustment, I will not lie, but it is money saving.  I took the second car off the insurance until we can use it again, which cut the insurance bill in half.  The gas spent on the first car will surely increase, as will wear and tear, but if done correctly there should not be a doubling in those areas.  It is an option, and often a good one especially if we are talking about a one income family.

   Speaking of automobiles, another money savingn tip is to shop around for insurance when your renewals come up. Even if you do not end up switching insurance companies, the shopping can lead you to a lower price, and hopefully your current company can match the lower price. If not, it may be worth it to switch, if the savings is significant.

Cooking more at home is also a way to save money.  Not only is it healthier, but costs can be trimmed dramatically by some simple changes.  My children do not drink juice, but instead flavored water, that I flavor with real fruit.  I make apple cinnamon water, or cucumber lemon or lime water.  It is significantly less than buying juice, plus it is vastly healthier for them in the long run! 

 

These are just a few little tips.  Throughout the year I will be sharing more cost cutting, and money making tips.  I am making some large changes in my own life this year, and I will be sharing my experiences along the way.  Please feel free to jump in where you can, and I hope you take away some helpful information on our journey together.

Dr Oz

Restart Your Body! | The Dr. Oz Show

I'm a huge Dr Oz fan. I will be dvr'ing this episode. Want to restart your body, tune in!!!

Get Your Exercise On!!!

One of biggest resolutions of the year for people this season is weight loss, or exercise in general.  I am no different.  I have about 10-15 pounds I want to lose.  I never quite made it back to prebaby weight, although I am only 6 pounds from that.  I wanted to lose about 7-10 pounds before I ever found out I was pregnant. 

So, here is a contribution today to exercise. 

 

 

 

This routine does not take more than 20-30 minutes, and trust me you will feel it immediately.  I was doing this earlier this year, and I was really seeing some results.  I do not know what happened, life I guess, but I fell off that wagon.  I will be putting myself back on with a variety of workouts, for those of us that are exercise ADD.  for now, this is my first contribution.  Take care of your physical health, and your mental health will be better also.  Get those endorphins flowing and you will be shocked at how happy you feel, and when you start looking better you will be more motivated to keep it up.

 

There is no magic cure for weight problems.  No matter what road you take the key is the same, you have to be careful what you put into your body, and make sure you exercise.  You have to dedicate yourself to making your health a priority.

 

 



The First Day of The Rest of My Life

Happy New Year!  Up and ready to roll out the first blog of the new year at 8:00AM this morning. 

I am dedicating this year to myself!  I am constantly doing things for others, which I love, but I put myself on the back burner way too often.  I am going to make myself my first priority this year.  I am going to set the example for my girls.  Like Dr. Phil says, "You teach people how to treat you."  This is insanely true.  If you find yourself constantly being taken advantage of, then you need to locate the welcome mat on your forehead and remove it. 

I am going to start TODAY and make some changes, and make my world a better place.  I have a lot to offer, and it is about time I did.  I am creative, funny, dependable, smart, and lots of other great adjectives.  I am going to make 2013 the year of the Mom.  And by Mom, I mean me. 

So stay tuned all year for the journey of my life.  The journey of my family's lives, and a whole lot in between. 

I am going to be talking, physical health, mental health, emotional health, and every other kind of health I can think of.  If you ever thought you were unfulfilled in some aspect of your life, stay tuned, because we are going to address that area this year.  Want to help me?  Then you have to be here, with me, in the trenches making it happen.  I welcome you, heart and soul. 

Ready.  Set.  GO!