Friday, August 30, 2013
Some direction
I have been doing a little research about blogging and how to really make a go of it, professionally. One suggestion that I came across was to specialize and tailor the blog to a specific parenting issue, so as to become somewhat of a subject matter expert.
If I had to tailor my blog to one thing, I think at this point I would pick nutrition, and healthy eating. I am thinking of taking this blog in a more concentrated direction....with some track derailment here and there...
I would love to know how you all would feel about this. I would be including article, written by others, and myself. I would start posting research, pointers, real advice on how to get kids to eat healthier, and tips and tricks I use myself.
The biggest aspect is that I may have to look at changing blogging locations. Not sure yet. I am still doing the research on that.
For now, I would love to know how receptive everyone would be to a blog that focused on the health, and nutrition aspect of parenting.
Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Positive Parenting
I have written a couple articles lately on positive parenting and being a positive role model to a child. I love these articles because in writing them it reminds me to be wary of the same things in my own parenting. Sometimes we can fall victim to our own laziness as parents, and begin to take for granted a child's good behavior. It is important for them, and for us, to keep the eye on the prize. It is vital for kids to hear positive reinforcement when they do something good.
In order to be a good role model to a child, one first has to lead by example. If a child sees an adult who is consistently being negative, talking about people behind their backs, and generally being a negative person, they are not going to turn around and listen to that person tell them to look at the glass half full. If it is not something an adult is willing to do themselves, then a child is not going to do it.
If we are trying to instill good habits in our children, we must exemplify good habits for them. Eating healthy, exercising, taking time for ourselves is leading by example for our children. When they see us take care of our bodies, and make ourselves a priority, it gives them the message that they too must take care of themselves. By showing children that we care enough to treat our bodies with care, we teach them the same about their own bodies.
Taking an active role in a child's education is also a must for good role models. We cannot just sit back and lecture about doing homework, and studying for tests. We parents have to go to whatever meetings we have the ability to attend, and have an open line of communication with teachers. A child needs to be encouraged to participate in extracurricular activities, which parents should be involved in as well. In essence, parents should be devoted to supporting their children 100% of the time.
Being a parent is no easy gig. It takes, hard work, dedication, blood, sweat, and tears. It is our obligation to do our very best for our kids. They did not ask to be brought into this world, and so, we owe it to them to raise them with good moral values, a nurturing home, and an uplifting spirit. We owe it to them to give them the best start possible, because how awful would it be to watch them spending an adulthood trying to fix what we broke.
In order to be a good role model to a child, one first has to lead by example. If a child sees an adult who is consistently being negative, talking about people behind their backs, and generally being a negative person, they are not going to turn around and listen to that person tell them to look at the glass half full. If it is not something an adult is willing to do themselves, then a child is not going to do it.
If we are trying to instill good habits in our children, we must exemplify good habits for them. Eating healthy, exercising, taking time for ourselves is leading by example for our children. When they see us take care of our bodies, and make ourselves a priority, it gives them the message that they too must take care of themselves. By showing children that we care enough to treat our bodies with care, we teach them the same about their own bodies.
Taking an active role in a child's education is also a must for good role models. We cannot just sit back and lecture about doing homework, and studying for tests. We parents have to go to whatever meetings we have the ability to attend, and have an open line of communication with teachers. A child needs to be encouraged to participate in extracurricular activities, which parents should be involved in as well. In essence, parents should be devoted to supporting their children 100% of the time.
Being a parent is no easy gig. It takes, hard work, dedication, blood, sweat, and tears. It is our obligation to do our very best for our kids. They did not ask to be brought into this world, and so, we owe it to them to raise them with good moral values, a nurturing home, and an uplifting spirit. We owe it to them to give them the best start possible, because how awful would it be to watch them spending an adulthood trying to fix what we broke.
Tuesday, August 27, 2013
Peek-A-Boo....I See You....
Sorry for the leave of absence, I have meandered into a new endeavor and need to adjust my time management skills yet again. I have started writing for Demand Media, freelance articles on parenting. I have been focused over there for a month or so now, and just have not been able to find the time to write there, and still keep up with the blog. I will do better, I promise.
I have begun to wonder how these professional, earn a full time income, work at home moms do it. I have a toddler at home, and two school age kids, and finding the time to write in one place is hard enough, let alone what some of these moms are able to juggle. My hat's off to them, because they must have the write stuff....lol. Okay, okay, I know, lame joke.
I have found in writing parenting articles, I am learning as much as I am writing. I have done several articles on teenagers, and many on autism. I can safely say I do not know how parents of autistic children do all they do....and I have no desire to rush to the teenage years with my girls...yikes.
I am loving being able to write though, it feels good to use my brain, which was beginning to feel like a huge ball of mush. I do need to work on time management skills though. Although, I think toddlers are the kryptonite to time management.
I will do my best to remain dedicated to my blog. for those of you who are devoted readers, and will even try to share my articles with you all as well. Maybe some day I can get around to writing that book that everyone keeps telling me to write, because I have so much extra time on my hands...
I have begun to wonder how these professional, earn a full time income, work at home moms do it. I have a toddler at home, and two school age kids, and finding the time to write in one place is hard enough, let alone what some of these moms are able to juggle. My hat's off to them, because they must have the write stuff....lol. Okay, okay, I know, lame joke.
I have found in writing parenting articles, I am learning as much as I am writing. I have done several articles on teenagers, and many on autism. I can safely say I do not know how parents of autistic children do all they do....and I have no desire to rush to the teenage years with my girls...yikes.
I am loving being able to write though, it feels good to use my brain, which was beginning to feel like a huge ball of mush. I do need to work on time management skills though. Although, I think toddlers are the kryptonite to time management.
I will do my best to remain dedicated to my blog. for those of you who are devoted readers, and will even try to share my articles with you all as well. Maybe some day I can get around to writing that book that everyone keeps telling me to write, because I have so much extra time on my hands...
Friday, May 17, 2013
Disorganized Chaos...
So I blogged about this topic yesterday, but I am going to hit it again today also because I think it is important to discuss this aspect of child development. Yesterday's blog titled, "I Am Raising A Hoarder..." was about my 8 year old daughter. She is the sweetest, most loving child, and she is a pack rat. She is beginning to forget to turn in assignments, forget to turn in folders, and instead of cleaning her room is trying to get away with shoving things in her closet. She claims forgetfulness every single time, but I know that it is more than forgetting, it is being disorganized.
I know some of you are wondering what exactly I think is the big trauma here, she is 8 years old and most of them are irresponsible. My problem is that it is effecting her school work, and she is becoming increasingly disorganized. I read an article today about disorganized children. I felt better after reading it because honestly, it feels good to know I am not alone by far.
Some of the tools the article outlines are really key in most kids' lives. Teaching kids how to prioritize, how to organize, and realize that these tools are not always innate behaviors that everyone has in themselves. It is important to guide children through the process of not only learning these tools, but also in incorporating them into their daily routines to make sure that they stick.
Basic Guidelines
Some simple, basic steps in beginning to organize our children is to make sure they have a daily routine. The more routine their day is the less stress is created in the unknown. My kids come home every day and have a snack and do homework immediately. They know this, there is no question, it is just our routine. So I make sure that every day we follow this simple routine. At 7 P.M. we go upstairs every day so that the older two girls can shower and I can bathe the baby. Whatever time is left between then and 8 P.M. on school nights is their television time. This is our routine, and most people that have ever even been to our house can tell you it runs like clock work.
With my middle daughter I will need to add a couple new steps to our routine. For instance, along with homework, I am going to need to add cleaning out her back pack. I looked in it yesterday, and I think Jimmy Hoffa is buried in there. This is a simple task that can be easily added into our routine, but it is going to take my commitment to helping her establish it in her routine.
Another basic guideline in organizing a disorganized child is talking to them about their daily grind on the job, aka school. Just asking if their homework has been finished is not good enough. There needs to be a meeting of the minds, and a sharing of the calendars on a regular basis. This way, parents know when book reports are due, exams are scheduled, and what is going on in the child's week and can help regulate stress. The more a child is prepared, the less disorganized and chaotic they will be. This only leads to healthier study habits, and better organization.
For my peanut, she has a daily planner that her assignments are listed in and we go through it regularly. We will begin to go through it even more, and plan ahead the time that she will be working on things like projects and reports. That way, I can keep an eye on what she has due when, when she should be done with a project, and she can have work done without that last minute procrastination push.
Outlining Expectations
It is important that parents have realistic expectations of their children. Otherwise, they will feel like they can never meet what their parents want of them which can lead to real emotional issues down the line. We have to remember that they are kids, and they should act like them. We are to guide and teach them, not brow beat and criticize them. I found a great site that that outlines stages in child development. The site first breaks down child development by age groups, and then further breaks down what the expectations can be for each age group socially, educationally, and emotionally.
This is a great tool for parents to refer to when dealing with a new stage with all of their children. I have never had this issue with my oldest daughter, so this is new territory for me, even though I have three kids. There is never a dull moment with kids, and just when you think you have it figured out they will throw you a curve ball.
Once the age appropriate expectations are identified by the adults, and expressed to the children, then it is time to make sure actions are put into place. Follow through means everything. Without consistency, there is no change in a child's life. They need repetition, routine, and reward. With the repetition and the routine will come the reward.
My daughter is going to finish this school year strongly, we made a pact on that one. We have agreed to implement some new expectations into our routine, and we will soon reap the rewards. She is going to learn that being organized and on task has its own benefits beyond making everyone happy. She is going to see that hard work does feel good, and that Jimmy Hoffa is too heavy to be lugging around in that back pack of hers. Onward and upward.
Some of the tools the article outlines are really key in most kids' lives. Teaching kids how to prioritize, how to organize, and realize that these tools are not always innate behaviors that everyone has in themselves. It is important to guide children through the process of not only learning these tools, but also in incorporating them into their daily routines to make sure that they stick.
Basic Guidelines
Some simple, basic steps in beginning to organize our children is to make sure they have a daily routine. The more routine their day is the less stress is created in the unknown. My kids come home every day and have a snack and do homework immediately. They know this, there is no question, it is just our routine. So I make sure that every day we follow this simple routine. At 7 P.M. we go upstairs every day so that the older two girls can shower and I can bathe the baby. Whatever time is left between then and 8 P.M. on school nights is their television time. This is our routine, and most people that have ever even been to our house can tell you it runs like clock work.
With my middle daughter I will need to add a couple new steps to our routine. For instance, along with homework, I am going to need to add cleaning out her back pack. I looked in it yesterday, and I think Jimmy Hoffa is buried in there. This is a simple task that can be easily added into our routine, but it is going to take my commitment to helping her establish it in her routine.
Another basic guideline in organizing a disorganized child is talking to them about their daily grind on the job, aka school. Just asking if their homework has been finished is not good enough. There needs to be a meeting of the minds, and a sharing of the calendars on a regular basis. This way, parents know when book reports are due, exams are scheduled, and what is going on in the child's week and can help regulate stress. The more a child is prepared, the less disorganized and chaotic they will be. This only leads to healthier study habits, and better organization.
For my peanut, she has a daily planner that her assignments are listed in and we go through it regularly. We will begin to go through it even more, and plan ahead the time that she will be working on things like projects and reports. That way, I can keep an eye on what she has due when, when she should be done with a project, and she can have work done without that last minute procrastination push.
Outlining Expectations
It is important that parents have realistic expectations of their children. Otherwise, they will feel like they can never meet what their parents want of them which can lead to real emotional issues down the line. We have to remember that they are kids, and they should act like them. We are to guide and teach them, not brow beat and criticize them. I found a great site that that outlines stages in child development. The site first breaks down child development by age groups, and then further breaks down what the expectations can be for each age group socially, educationally, and emotionally.
This is a great tool for parents to refer to when dealing with a new stage with all of their children. I have never had this issue with my oldest daughter, so this is new territory for me, even though I have three kids. There is never a dull moment with kids, and just when you think you have it figured out they will throw you a curve ball.
Once the age appropriate expectations are identified by the adults, and expressed to the children, then it is time to make sure actions are put into place. Follow through means everything. Without consistency, there is no change in a child's life. They need repetition, routine, and reward. With the repetition and the routine will come the reward.
My daughter is going to finish this school year strongly, we made a pact on that one. We have agreed to implement some new expectations into our routine, and we will soon reap the rewards. She is going to learn that being organized and on task has its own benefits beyond making everyone happy. She is going to see that hard work does feel good, and that Jimmy Hoffa is too heavy to be lugging around in that back pack of hers. Onward and upward.
Thursday, May 16, 2013
I Am Raising A Hoarder....
I am at my wits ends. I have lectured, yelled, taken away things, etc. I feel like there is something about my 8 year old that makes her inherently a hoarder. She has a problem parting with anything, even pieces of paper. I have never seen anything like this. I have no explanation, no reason, no logic. She seems almost emotionally attached to everything she owns.
Today she was cleaning her room and asked me what to do with a large shoe box that she had decorated for her class Valentine's Day party. VALENTINE'S DAY?!?! I asked her if there was anything still in the box and she told me that there were the cards from her classmates. I felt bad afterwards, but I just looked at her and said, "You have to throw this stuff away! You will get more cards from the same kids next year, THROW THEM AWAY."
I was busy nursing the baby, so I asked the oldest sister, who is 10 to check on the room after she claimed to be finished cleaning. Well, of course the warden found plenty wrong with it, but she was right! There were wadded up tissues in an empty tissue box, pony tail holders randomly about, and just stuff.
I immediately went looking to see if Hoarders was on television right that moment, sadly it was not. I have it set to DVR now, because I explained to her that is where she is headed if she does not get this under control. I guess I am hoping to scare her straight?!?! I want her to see what an unhealthy obsession with stuff looks like. I want her to see what happens when people cannot let go of things. I am not saying she WILL be a hoarder, but hey, it has to start somewhere.
I do not know any other way to get through to her. I asked my mother, that is how desperate I was. She informs me that she herself was the same way as a child. She said she eventually just grew out of it...ugh. Okay, so I have some hope, a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. I mean my mom is a clean freak, so really, this does give me some solace.
I am still going to give her a taste of Hoarders...scare her little butt straight.
Today she was cleaning her room and asked me what to do with a large shoe box that she had decorated for her class Valentine's Day party. VALENTINE'S DAY?!?! I asked her if there was anything still in the box and she told me that there were the cards from her classmates. I felt bad afterwards, but I just looked at her and said, "You have to throw this stuff away! You will get more cards from the same kids next year, THROW THEM AWAY."
I immediately went looking to see if Hoarders was on television right that moment, sadly it was not. I have it set to DVR now, because I explained to her that is where she is headed if she does not get this under control. I guess I am hoping to scare her straight?!?! I want her to see what an unhealthy obsession with stuff looks like. I want her to see what happens when people cannot let go of things. I am not saying she WILL be a hoarder, but hey, it has to start somewhere.
I do not know any other way to get through to her. I asked my mother, that is how desperate I was. She informs me that she herself was the same way as a child. She said she eventually just grew out of it...ugh. Okay, so I have some hope, a glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel. I mean my mom is a clean freak, so really, this does give me some solace.
I am still going to give her a taste of Hoarders...scare her little butt straight.
A Delicate Balance....
Juggling kids, work, home, marriage, health, play, etc., can be exhausting and we have not even finished the day yet. I think it is important for people to realize that there are only so many hours in one day, and only so much that can be accomplished in that day.
I know many people that have a hard time asking for help, and yes, I am one of them. It has always been a struggle for me to ask others for help in any way. I always felt like I could just handle it, whatever "it" was. Like the woman in this picture I felt as though I could just toss another ball in the juggle and keep on ballet dancing on down the tightrope. Sometimes, we have those days where we can handle it all. I have had days where I got multiple loads of laundry done, an almost gourmet dinner prepared, worked out, scrubbed half the house, and still managed to shower and look hot before hubby got home. Then I have had those days where I wonder if I will manage to get out of my yoga pants before I have to pick up the kids from school, and better yet, wonder how much I care.
Life ebbs and flows, and so do our bodies and our energies. We have to learn to seize the moments when they hit, and not beat ourselves up when they leave. Today has been one of those challenging days when I set out with my sights to conquer the world and now the day is almost gone and I feel like I hit about half the things on my list. I sit in my bed with my laptop, and my sleeping toddler next to me, wondering if it is worth it to try and stay up long enough to do one more load of laundry. I am already planning what I have to get started when I get up tomorrow at 5 A.M. I have my mental list growing in my head.
But will this keep me up tonight? No, not at all. I know that today I did my best with what I have. I have a teething toddler, two school age kids, a husband who was home not feeling well, and myself having been up a great deal last night. I walked the tightrope and juggled as much as I could today while ballet dancing blindfolded across the circus ring, and I am okay with that. I will do it all again tomorrow, and dance blindfolded, juggling, and be okay with that load too.
Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Do Co-Sleeping Babies Lead To Independent Children???
I read an article the other day that left me going, "Hmmmm????" It was geared towards how our American society views certain child rearing techniques somewhat in a backwards way. Co-sleeping was one of the topics that was touched on in the article.
I have three children and I have never co-slept, before now. My third child, who is now 19 months sleeps half the night in her bed, and half in our bed....okay, sometimes more than half. I have always felt somewhat guilty about this, like I was not teaching her independence. Now after reading this article, and examining my child, I have to wonder if I have in fact been teaching her more independence than she would have if she did not co-sleep. Hmmmm...
First and foremost, here is the article titled, "Have American Parents Got It All Backwards?" It sites the Japanese culture and their beliefs on co-sleeping. The Japanese are very supportive of co-sleeping and the notion that it fosters independence by feeding the need for nurturing and closeness at night. Children automatically feel loved, nurtured, and bonded through co-sleeping, and therefor will act more independently during the day, because that basic need is met. When they are ready, they will gravitate to their own bed. Hmmmmm...
I have to say, I feel like this article is certainly valid, and not because I am looking for an excuse to keep my toddler in me bed...well not solely because of that. I feel like I am benefitting sometimes by having her there also. I feel like we are exchanging some sort of great energy, bonding, recharging together. It is hard to put into words.
So for the time being, I plan on keeping her close, still encouraging her to sleep in her bed when she is okay with that, and letting her come snuggle up with Mommy and Papi when she needs that closeness and comfort. I will listen to her cues, not society's, when it comes to what is best going to meet her needs.
I would love to hear co-sleeping stories, or independent sleeper stories. I am always open to hearing what everyone else's experiences have been.
I have three children and I have never co-slept, before now. My third child, who is now 19 months sleeps half the night in her bed, and half in our bed....okay, sometimes more than half. I have always felt somewhat guilty about this, like I was not teaching her independence. Now after reading this article, and examining my child, I have to wonder if I have in fact been teaching her more independence than she would have if she did not co-sleep. Hmmmm...
First and foremost, here is the article titled, "Have American Parents Got It All Backwards?" It sites the Japanese culture and their beliefs on co-sleeping. The Japanese are very supportive of co-sleeping and the notion that it fosters independence by feeding the need for nurturing and closeness at night. Children automatically feel loved, nurtured, and bonded through co-sleeping, and therefor will act more independently during the day, because that basic need is met. When they are ready, they will gravitate to their own bed. Hmmmmm...
I have to say, I feel like this article is certainly valid, and not because I am looking for an excuse to keep my toddler in me bed...well not solely because of that. I feel like I am benefitting sometimes by having her there also. I feel like we are exchanging some sort of great energy, bonding, recharging together. It is hard to put into words.
So for the time being, I plan on keeping her close, still encouraging her to sleep in her bed when she is okay with that, and letting her come snuggle up with Mommy and Papi when she needs that closeness and comfort. I will listen to her cues, not society's, when it comes to what is best going to meet her needs.
I would love to hear co-sleeping stories, or independent sleeper stories. I am always open to hearing what everyone else's experiences have been.
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