My heart aches after reading this....

Please read THIS.  I had tears in my eyes after reading this.  My heart aches for anyone and everyone raising children with mental illness, and unable to find the help that they know they need. 

Please, reach out to other parents, especially if they are in need of extra love and support.  Do not let them go through this alone.  Lend them your shoulder, something.

Attachment parenting

My mother and I were discussing attachment parenting today.  I would be considered an attachment parent.  She and I were discussing extreme behavior, after yesterdays tragedy it seems all people can discuss.  Anyway, I have a 15 month old, who still breastfeeds, who used to be in a carrier almost constantly, and who often finds her way into our bed.

My mom was recounting a story in which she heard of a mom who was breastfeeding her 4 year old, and who had all 4 of her children sleeping in bed with her and her husband.  In my opinion, this is more towards the extreme attachement parenting side of the scale.

My two older kids, 10 & 8 years old, sleep in their own rooms, in their own beds.  They were never big on co-sleeping because they move around a lot and they were not comfortable doing so.  This last little bit does not seem to have that issue.  That being said I am still working to get her into her own bed, why?  Because my hubby and I would ultimately like our bed back, and better sleep.  Sex can happen anywhere, we do not need our bed for that, but neither of us sleep as soundly when she is with us.  We are awakened by her frequently so it can be an issue.

I believe attachment parenting can be a great thing, when done with boundaries.  I do not believe it is healthy to have older children in the family bed.  I believe that people need some privacy, kids included.  I think that there needs to be some inner sense of independence.  I believe that constantly having someone on top of you leads to having issues with being alone.  I think that when kids do not learn how to occupy themselves ever, they can become needy and unable to function without someone else's input.

I wear my kids when they are infants, I breastfeed them until we both want to stop, and allow them in the bed when they really need it.  I also encourage independence, problem solving, and confidence every step of the way.  Attachment parenting is a balancing act, as is every type of parenting.  What works for some will not work for others.  We have to do what works for us and our children. 

I believe that we need to support one another in our efforts of raising good kids.  But in the same instance, we need to be open to someone questioning our practices.  If people do not ask, we do not have an opportunity to teach.  Do not become defensive when people question your methods, instead, look at it as an opportunity to open the eyes of someone to a potentially new and different way of doing something. 

Knowledge is power, and we all share in the ability to be teachers and students.  Instead of withdrawing we should bring all of our attributes to the table and share.  It takes a village to raise a child, and we all need to improve our villages!

Hunger Games

I have a question for you parents out there.  How young is too young for the Hunger Games book/movie?  It is rated PG-13, so obviously the movie industry feels that 13 is an appropriate age, unless accompanied by a parent. 

My 7 year old 2nd grader came home today complaining that several of her classmates were playing a new game called, Hunger Games.  I asked her what they were doing, and she said they were pretending to use weapons and kill each other.  Now, I am not naive, but I had hoped that my 7 year old would be for a little while yet.

My 9 year old said her classmates are obsessed with the Hunger Games, and she quite frankly is sick of it....I love that kid.  I will also say, my kids go to a private, Catholic School.  I don't know if I am wrong in expecting more because of this, but I do, and my bank account says that I have a right to, since all my money goes to them. 

So, I want to hear from parents, what are your thoughts on the Hunger Games, what is old enough for the book and/or movie?  Do you think that I shouldn't be at all surprised that 7 & 8 year olds are enacting the concept on the playground?  Should I mention it to the teacher?  Or am I just being an overconservative prude?  Go ahead, give me your honest opinion...

Momma Said....

The first 3 years of life are the prime time to build a foundation in your child.  This is the critical time in their lives when they need to learn discipline, routine, and have structure.  I started time outs with my girls when they were each 1 year old.  People would say, "But, she doesn't KNOW what you are doing."  I would reply, "Maybe she does, maybe she doesn't, but one of these times she WILL and by then this will be our discipline routine."  I did not wait until I was sure they were old enough to understand right from wrong, I began instilling it as early as I possibly could.  One year old equalled 1 minute in time out.  It was enough to break the cycle of whatever the child was doing.  It was enough to start the pattern and routine of using time outs as our discipline.  It was enough.  My girls can be taken out to dinner at very nice restaurants and know how to behave.  I have actually had wait staff compliment my children's behavior, and one even said to me, "It is a testament to the parenting they are receiving, because they are the best behaved, most polite children I have ever had THE PLEASURE of serving."
Are my kids perfect, far from it.  They fight like sisters will, they complain when they are tired, or bored, or hot.  They have selective hearing at times, and need to be corrected just like any other kid on the planet.  But they have a solid basic foundation of expected behavior, and more than anything in the world, they have my heart, soul, and complete devotion.  I love them more than words can ever capture, and they know it in their hearts and minds.  It is my duty, my obligation, to raise them to the best of my ability.  It is my obligation to teach them how to make good choices, how to deal with the ups and downs of life, to reach out my hand when they stumble, to make sure they always know, when they fall, I am there to help them up, and cheer them on....it is my obligation, my duty, and most of all, my undying honor.