One of the biggest compliments I get is that my kids are great eaters. This goes across the board with all three girls. My 19 month old daughter's favorite food is broccoli, and next to that is avocado. She also loves bean sprouts. My older daughters are great eaters also, they love spinach, broccoli, peppers, etc. This is not a situation in which I just got lucky three times. It is no happy accident that I have three kids who eat well, and appreciate healthy fruits and vegetables.
From the time they started eating solid foods I pushed fruits and more so vegetables. Starting as early as possible I started feeding them every veggie I could, even the ones that I do not particularly care for myself. It is important that kids develop their own tastes. Just because I did not like brussel sprouts as a child does not mean my kids would hate them. As a matter of fact I discovered that when cooked properly, those things are quite delicious! Who knew?!?! I have a deal with my girls regarding new foods. If they give it one or two bites, real bites not little nibbles that you cannot even see on the spoon, and they do not like it then they do not have to eat it. All I ask is that they try, and they do. I think having the ultimate say over whether or not they are going to be eating this food has made a world of difference. They know there is no fight, just try it, give it a fair shot, and if you do not like it, then that's okay. But here is the catch, the next time I make it (which will not be for a while) you have to try it again. Maybe I will try to cook it differently, season it differently, or your taste buds have matured enough to palate the food now. But you have to give it a true shot, every time.
In saying that, it is important that I say something to all my parents out here. If your child tries something and really just does not like it, then you have to be real about how frequently you cook it. You really do have to consider their preferences when you are planning meals, get them involved, it makes a difference.
My girls love to help cook dinner. They are constantly asking how something is made, what is in it, what they can do to contribute to the meal also. They have a vested interest in what they are going to be eating, and guess what, that also makes them want to try things even if they are unsure how it is going to taste. Are you seeing the control theme throughout this post yet?? It is true, kids want to be a part of what decisions effect them, and what they eat is one of those decisions. I have never had to have a show down at the dinner table, ever. I have never had to bargain with my kids to eat all their vegetable, or anything, in order to get something else. I have, however, hidden vegetables in my oldest daughter's smoothies when she was a toddler.
We all know that toddlers are wonderful little beings, until they discover free will. Then it is on like Donkey Kong. My oldest daughter went through a phase where she would not eat vegetables, but she was 18 months old. She only wanted fruits. I kept offering them at almost every meal in every way I could think to prepare them. She refused to eat them. I even said something to the doctor, who informed me it was a phase, and she would return to her normal veggie loving self in time. Well that was all fine and good but not enough for me to feel better. Every morning this child asked for a fruit smoothie, which I happily made for her. Then, one morning, I decided to see what would happen if I added the leftover broccoli that she refused from dinner the night before. I upped the amount of fruit a little bit, and voila! She drank it without any issue. She had no idea that she was drinking a broccoli smoothie, but I felt better about her getting the nutrients that I was paranoid about her missing. Eventually, after I continued to offer veggies, she came around, and began eating regularly again.
It was a control issue, she was standing her ground against doing something she knew I really wanted her to do. I just got creative. I felt better, and relaxed more about her not devouring the veggies, and she picked up on my feelings. She relaxed her grip on controlling what was going into her mouth when she felt that her feelings were being respected. I know it may sound silly to be talking about a child who was 18 months old when this happened, but trust and believe, this is the reality of it. Toddlers are little people, they have personalities, and traits that adults have also. We have to learn how to communicate in their language since they are unable to communicate in our completely. When I gave my child the understanding that I was not going to control what she ate, she ate everything in sight. My job as a parent was to get creative and yes, sneaky. This same child now wants to go to culinary school and someday be a chef. She eats just about anything. She loves to cook, and loves to try new foods.
My 19 month old daughter is currently a vegetarian. She eats all types of veggies, fruits, grains, etc. Now, that is not to say she eats everything because she does not. But I keep offering everything because at some point she will probably begin to like the things she does not care for right now, like peppers. I make sure that whatever we are eating, there is enough that I know for sure she does like, and then give her a little of the other things that she may or may not care for also. It is a balance, but one that will make the future so much easier. No more, my child only eats chicken nuggets and fries, or worse. Kids are going to go through phases of preferences, yes, but we have to be diligent as parents in offering things to them. We have to walk the tightrope of control, never fully relinquishing it, but giving our children enough of it themselves that they feel like we respect them. That is what picky eating is about, control.
If you have a picky eater, start out slow. Buy a kids cookbook and let your child pick out a recipe for you to make together. Something easy and simple, just to put your toes in the water at first. When they see that they created something, and they like it, they will want to do it again, and again. Get creative, get sneaky if you have to, but most of all, get proactive! Get kids involved, and they will overcome their pickiness. If you give them a good, healthy example, they will follow. We are the biggest influence in our children's lives, and it is our obligation as their parents to make sure that we are positive influences.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Saturday, May 4, 2013
Responsibility
On Friday my middle daughter lost ten dollars. She went on a field trip and I gave her ten dollars just in case they stopped at the gift shop at the museum. She apparently put the money in her lunch bag, instead of her jacket pocket. When I asked her if they were able to buy anything, she said no they did not go to any gift shop. So I asked her what she did with the money, and the look on her face said it all.
She told me that she put it in her lunch bag, and forgot to take it back out. So the money got thrown in the trash. I was silent. She felt bad, I could see it immediately. But here is the thing, she was irresponsible with the money. I did not yell at her, or even say much of anything. I think that made her even more uneasy.
I did tell her that she will be working that money off. I told her that I knew it was a mistake, but that I gave her responsibility and she made a mistake, and this was how she would repay the mistake. I also made sure to remind her that mistakes happen to us all, and we all have to make up for them.
She did a couple extra little things this evening, fed the dog without being asked or told. She did not complain when asked to go downstairs and let the dog back in the house from the yard. She was even more helpful with her little sister this evening at the park. I know she learned her lesson.
How do we parents decide what is the proper punishment for certain behaviors? What punishment fits what crime. I know this can lend itself to be a heated discussion as some of us view certain punishments as appropriate where others of us do not. I am not going to be discussing spanking right now. It will be a topic I discuss later, but that one deserves a post totally to itself. Right now I am just focusing on this situation.
Let us recap the crime in question to be able to adequately determine the charge on this eight year old little peanut....
Okay, so my eight year old accidentally threw away my ten dollars because she was having too much fun on her field trip and got a little careless. I asked her why she did not keep it in her pocket, to which she said they were told not to bring their jackets. Hmm, okay, well her P.E. uniform (the uniform they had to wear that day) does not have pockets in the shorts or the shirt, so she had to be a little thrown about what to do with the money. I will give her that.
So then she decides to put the money in her lunch bag, the only thing she has left to actually carry something inside. Okay, not the best place, but if I put myself in an eight year old mind I can see where she feels no other option. Then they go to the museum and start having fun....la la la...fun fun fun. Okay, now it is lunch time. They are still amped up, having a great time and they are all hanging out, eating together.
She eats her lunch, shoves the trash back inside the lunch bag, and throws the whole thing away. There it is, her crime. Her slip out of common sense and all that she knows to be right in the world. Well, maybe that is a little dramatic, but I have to keep you guys enthralled over here right?!?!
Okay, so she could have given the money to her teacher and asked her what to do with it since she had no pockets, but she did not. She was trying to be responsible for her own belongings and it backfired a little on her. The Warden, as my children so lovingly call me, has decided to go easy on her. She will work it off. Some extra doggy chores, which she hates to do, some extra house chores, and a lecture here or there. I think that punishment fits her crime. She didn't burn the house down, or maim anyone. She certainly knew she disappointed me, and I think that was the biggest punishment of all. She hates that feeling, which is why I did not yell at her. I think she has already learned a lesson here, and now I will just make sure she does not forget what she has learned.
Make sure your punishment fits your child's crime. Make your moments teaching moments, not just yell at them to make you feel relief moments. It is no coincidence that the word MOM is the first part of the word MOMents....hmmm, and that is the thought I leave you with today.
She told me that she put it in her lunch bag, and forgot to take it back out. So the money got thrown in the trash. I was silent. She felt bad, I could see it immediately. But here is the thing, she was irresponsible with the money. I did not yell at her, or even say much of anything. I think that made her even more uneasy.
I did tell her that she will be working that money off. I told her that I knew it was a mistake, but that I gave her responsibility and she made a mistake, and this was how she would repay the mistake. I also made sure to remind her that mistakes happen to us all, and we all have to make up for them.
She did a couple extra little things this evening, fed the dog without being asked or told. She did not complain when asked to go downstairs and let the dog back in the house from the yard. She was even more helpful with her little sister this evening at the park. I know she learned her lesson.
How do we parents decide what is the proper punishment for certain behaviors? What punishment fits what crime. I know this can lend itself to be a heated discussion as some of us view certain punishments as appropriate where others of us do not. I am not going to be discussing spanking right now. It will be a topic I discuss later, but that one deserves a post totally to itself. Right now I am just focusing on this situation.
Let us recap the crime in question to be able to adequately determine the charge on this eight year old little peanut....
Okay, so my eight year old accidentally threw away my ten dollars because she was having too much fun on her field trip and got a little careless. I asked her why she did not keep it in her pocket, to which she said they were told not to bring their jackets. Hmm, okay, well her P.E. uniform (the uniform they had to wear that day) does not have pockets in the shorts or the shirt, so she had to be a little thrown about what to do with the money. I will give her that.
So then she decides to put the money in her lunch bag, the only thing she has left to actually carry something inside. Okay, not the best place, but if I put myself in an eight year old mind I can see where she feels no other option. Then they go to the museum and start having fun....la la la...fun fun fun. Okay, now it is lunch time. They are still amped up, having a great time and they are all hanging out, eating together.
She eats her lunch, shoves the trash back inside the lunch bag, and throws the whole thing away. There it is, her crime. Her slip out of common sense and all that she knows to be right in the world. Well, maybe that is a little dramatic, but I have to keep you guys enthralled over here right?!?!
Okay, so she could have given the money to her teacher and asked her what to do with it since she had no pockets, but she did not. She was trying to be responsible for her own belongings and it backfired a little on her. The Warden, as my children so lovingly call me, has decided to go easy on her. She will work it off. Some extra doggy chores, which she hates to do, some extra house chores, and a lecture here or there. I think that punishment fits her crime. She didn't burn the house down, or maim anyone. She certainly knew she disappointed me, and I think that was the biggest punishment of all. She hates that feeling, which is why I did not yell at her. I think she has already learned a lesson here, and now I will just make sure she does not forget what she has learned.
Make sure your punishment fits your child's crime. Make your moments teaching moments, not just yell at them to make you feel relief moments. It is no coincidence that the word MOM is the first part of the word MOMents....hmmm, and that is the thought I leave you with today.
Thursday, May 2, 2013
Super Mom
This term gets bantered about quite a bit. I have been called Super Mom by my husband, family, and close friends. At first it actually made me uncomfortable, like it was a standard that I felt was impossible. I felt like if they think I am SuperMom then where is there to go from there.
I have come to terms with a similar term, Super Mom. There is a difference. SuperMom without the space is a super hero that does not exist. This is an idealic persona that every mom strives to be, kind of like the Barbie doll of the mom world.
On the other hand, Super Mom indicates a mom that is super. A mom that is loved and appreciated by her family and friends. A woman that is flawed, and makes mistakes, but still does her best to do what is right for her kids. She is every mom that loves her kids, her husband, and herself. She is every mom that works, stays at home, or works from home. She is every mom that puts the needs of her family on the top of her priority list, and does what she needs to in order to raise good, contributing members of society. She is real.
Being a SuperMom is like trying to be Batman, you can try but somewhere along the way the costume is going to get really hot and uncomfortable and you may not be able to get out of the Bat mobile very well. And good luck fitting your groceries or soccer equipment in that thing. At some point those moms that portray themselves as SuperMom have to come back to reality, and realize that they are Super Moms just like the rest of us doing our best.
It is time we let go of unrealistic expectations and levels of performance that are just plain unattainable. Do your best, that is all that anyone can do, their very best. To continue to perpetuate a life in which we teach our kids there is no room for error is to err anyways. We have to teach our children that is okay to screw up, we are human, it happens. It is what you do with it that really matters. Live life, learn lessons from your mistakes and others'. Treat others the way you wish to be treated and you cannot go wrong.
It is important for our children to see us fall every now and again so they can watch us pick ourselves up and dust ourselves off and get back in the saddle. They need to learn through example, and that example is always first and foremost their parents.
So, I say, you can have the cape, the mobile, whatever super hero gadget or gizmo comes with the title. You can have the super powers, including the x-ray vision. You can keep the bat signal, the invisible plane, well wait, that would be really cool to have. Especially with airlines charging so much to go anywhere nowadays. Sorry, my train of thought derailed on me for a second there. Anywho, keep your gadgets and gizmos, I will gladly keep my title of Super Mom over being SuperMom any and every day of the week. I would rather be comfortable being me, flawed and imperfect, than to stress every day over trying to perpetuate a smoke screen of perfection. It is far more fun and fulfilling this way in my opinion.
Wednesday, May 1, 2013
Veggie Wednesday
I am really proud of this meal. It was insanely delicious, and my kids loved it. I love getting creative with food, and so does every member of my family. We all love to cook. My ten year old wants to go to culinary school and become a chef. I could not be prouder of her.
Every veggie on this plate is also organic, something else that is very important to us as a family. We try to eat as organic as possible, and eat as many NON-GMO foods as possible. We teach the kids the reality of food, processed food dangers, organic versus non-organic, what the heck GMO means. They know it all. But we also have moments where we just order a pizza and sit back and relax. I want my kids to be well informed and make good choices, but I also want them to know it is not something that needs to be obsessive. We cook 95% of our meals at home, actually probably more, but I am being conservative. We encourage the kids to participate in meal preparation with us as well.
My ten year old made breakfast for the family last weekend. She made a nutty cornbread in which she incorporated walnuts into cornbread. She said she wanted to use walnuts because, "they will add a buttery flavor, which will compliment the cornbread nicely." Yes, she is ten years old. I love her to death. She is very aware for her age, she always has been. I think she has a very old soul. But, I digress.
I tell my girls, find something you love, and make it your own. They have each shown a desire to really take cooking to a whole new level, although the oldest seems to really want to run with the ball. She is making her own cookbook. I tell them both all the time, food has several important aspects. It needs to nourish your body, it needs to be something you enjoy preparing, and it needs to have universal appeal if you are sharing it with others. The colors, flavors, and textures are all important and must work together.
Tonight's dinner was not just our typical veggie Wednesday, it was a wonderful, family meal prepared together, enjoyed together. They praised my veggie burger to the heavens, they helped prep all the fixins' for the burgers. They devoured every last morsel on their plates, and helped clean up afterwards.
Food can bring a family together. The family dinner should be alive and well in every household. It is a vital piece to the puzzle that can mean so much to everyone in the family. My girls will grow up remembering all the great meals we tried out together. They will go on with their own families with the foundation of everyone in the kitchen, working and sharing together.
It is not just a meal, it is an event. It is a memory that will last us all a lifetime.
Love Makes The World Go Round....
I saw one of the ecards yesterday on Facebook that said something like, try going a whole day with no complaining, and see what positivity it brings to your life. Today is my day. Today I will go through the day without one complaint.
A positive attitude is certainly the best friend of us all, but in our society how hard is it to keep? I mean, we get irritated at service people when they do not do a great job, we get irritated with our loved ones when they do not perform to our expectations, we get irritated at traffic that is standing still on a highway. Our society is filled with negativity at varying levels throughout. There are people that walk around with a permanent scowl on their faces, and then there are those that seem fine until one day they erupt with anger and attack someone out of no where.
When did our society become so full of angst, and more importantly how do we tame the beast?!? I think we all need a good solid round of Kumbayah and a hug fest or something. Looking at cultures worldwide I think it is true that Americans tend to be the least affectionate, and the among the most negative. I think as a whole we are somewhat of an unhappy people. How else is the self-help field so successful in this country. People know they are troubled and want to do something about it but need guidance and help to find true inner peace and happiness.
What would it take for you to be happy and content every day? What would it take for your days to be complaint free? What would you need in order to walk around smiling every day, just because you are happy to be on this planet and not lost in the minutia of day to day society? Why not start with just one day, one day of actively keeping a positive attitude? Try it with me now people, breathe in, exhale, and start anew.
**Edited to Add....
I have complained a couple times today, I am confessing here and now. I complained about a friend earlier to my mother, and I complained to my husband this morning when I saw something on television that really ticked me off about a baby being wrongfully taken from his parents.
This whole no complaining thing is even harder than I thought. How can we avoid complaining and express discontent about things in our society?? I mean, I was also working through the problem with the friend with my mom so it was not like I was merely emotionally dumping on my mom. It was like therapy...lol...anyone that knows my mom knows why that is insanely funny.
So those are my confessions for today. I am going to keep on working on my positivity, today, one day at a time.
A positive attitude is certainly the best friend of us all, but in our society how hard is it to keep? I mean, we get irritated at service people when they do not do a great job, we get irritated with our loved ones when they do not perform to our expectations, we get irritated at traffic that is standing still on a highway. Our society is filled with negativity at varying levels throughout. There are people that walk around with a permanent scowl on their faces, and then there are those that seem fine until one day they erupt with anger and attack someone out of no where.
When did our society become so full of angst, and more importantly how do we tame the beast?!? I think we all need a good solid round of Kumbayah and a hug fest or something. Looking at cultures worldwide I think it is true that Americans tend to be the least affectionate, and the among the most negative. I think as a whole we are somewhat of an unhappy people. How else is the self-help field so successful in this country. People know they are troubled and want to do something about it but need guidance and help to find true inner peace and happiness.
What would it take for you to be happy and content every day? What would it take for your days to be complaint free? What would you need in order to walk around smiling every day, just because you are happy to be on this planet and not lost in the minutia of day to day society? Why not start with just one day, one day of actively keeping a positive attitude? Try it with me now people, breathe in, exhale, and start anew.
**Edited to Add....
I have complained a couple times today, I am confessing here and now. I complained about a friend earlier to my mother, and I complained to my husband this morning when I saw something on television that really ticked me off about a baby being wrongfully taken from his parents.
This whole no complaining thing is even harder than I thought. How can we avoid complaining and express discontent about things in our society?? I mean, I was also working through the problem with the friend with my mom so it was not like I was merely emotionally dumping on my mom. It was like therapy...lol...anyone that knows my mom knows why that is insanely funny.
So those are my confessions for today. I am going to keep on working on my positivity, today, one day at a time.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Breastfeeding Bonanza
My nineteen month old is still a breastfeeding machine. This is something I never thought we would be doing at this age. My older two daughters weaned much earlier. My littlest princess really loves the nurturing, soothing feeling she gets from nuzzling up to my breast and latching on even if just for a couple minutes. She is teething right now, which means her nursing sessions are more frequent. I wonder if she will start to self wean after all the molars she is cutting have broken through.
I read an article once that said if a child does not start to self wean by 18 months then the mom will have to force wean them. I am not 100% sure if this is true, but I hope not. I am trying to let her lead the way into weaning, but she seems to have no interest. I, however, am beginning to hope the light at the end of the tunnel is near. While I love her to death, and love our little moments together I would like my body back. I am happy to snuggle, nuzzle, and cuddle her whenever her little heart desires.
Maybe if she did not nurse as much as she does I would feel differently. I don’t know. She asks for boobie every couple of hours, and a couple times still at night. So I have not slept through the night in over two years, including those pregnancy months where I was up peeing every hour or two. She asks so politely too, “Boobie please, Mommy, boobie please.” I mean really who could say no to that. Then she gives me this cheesy grin and sometimes kisses me. She is a con artist of epic proportions.
I don’t know. I say I want her to start weaning, but who knows, if she does actually start I may cry about my baby growing up. I think I am ready to start weaning, but then again this is probably the last baby I will ever have the chance to nurse and wean anyway so why not relish the last moments we have like this. She is smart, healthy as a horse, happy, and a complete joy. I guess when I really think about it, in my heart of hearts I am happy with her still at the boob. I just wish she would give me a break at night.
I read an article once that said if a child does not start to self wean by 18 months then the mom will have to force wean them. I am not 100% sure if this is true, but I hope not. I am trying to let her lead the way into weaning, but she seems to have no interest. I, however, am beginning to hope the light at the end of the tunnel is near. While I love her to death, and love our little moments together I would like my body back. I am happy to snuggle, nuzzle, and cuddle her whenever her little heart desires.
Maybe if she did not nurse as much as she does I would feel differently. I don’t know. She asks for boobie every couple of hours, and a couple times still at night. So I have not slept through the night in over two years, including those pregnancy months where I was up peeing every hour or two. She asks so politely too, “Boobie please, Mommy, boobie please.” I mean really who could say no to that. Then she gives me this cheesy grin and sometimes kisses me. She is a con artist of epic proportions.
I don’t know. I say I want her to start weaning, but who knows, if she does actually start I may cry about my baby growing up. I think I am ready to start weaning, but then again this is probably the last baby I will ever have the chance to nurse and wean anyway so why not relish the last moments we have like this. She is smart, healthy as a horse, happy, and a complete joy. I guess when I really think about it, in my heart of hearts I am happy with her still at the boob. I just wish she would give me a break at night.
Friday, February 1, 2013
The Riot Act
Have you ever read your kids the riot act?!?! Where does this saying come from anyway? Well I read mine this act in question this morning. I told them to clean their rooms yesterday, well I should say room because while we have abuela withnus they are sharing. Anyway, when I went in this morning it was obvious that they half donkey'd it at best. I have been sick for two days now, and I thought they could be trusted to accomplish this task without my intervention. I was apparently delusional from my fever.
After threatening to throw it all away, they scurried around trying to clean up before school. I have been feeling bad about yelling at them, but not about why. They are great kids, but they do have their faults, just like the rest of us. The younger of the two has a harder time with the whole room cleaning thing. She is a pack rat in training...a future Hoarders episode in waiting if I do not break her cycle now. The older one just does not want to clean up after the younger one, which I understand but still, can I catch a break somewhere in here.
So now they are at school probably wondering if crazy mom really is going to throw out all their belongings, or if the fever has gone to my brain. I think a little of both are possible.
After threatening to throw it all away, they scurried around trying to clean up before school. I have been feeling bad about yelling at them, but not about why. They are great kids, but they do have their faults, just like the rest of us. The younger of the two has a harder time with the whole room cleaning thing. She is a pack rat in training...a future Hoarders episode in waiting if I do not break her cycle now. The older one just does not want to clean up after the younger one, which I understand but still, can I catch a break somewhere in here.
So now they are at school probably wondering if crazy mom really is going to throw out all their belongings, or if the fever has gone to my brain. I think a little of both are possible.
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